You have permission to compose an all-purpose excuse note for yourself. If you'd like, you may also forge my signature on it so you can tell everyone that your astrologer sanctified it. This document will be ironclad and inviolable. It will serve as a poetic license that abolishes your guilt and remorse. It will authorize you to slough off senseless duties, evade deadening requirements, escape small-minded influences, and expunge numbing habits. Even better, your extra-strength excuse note will free you to seek out adventures you have been denying yourself for no good reason.

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Want to go further in exploring and understanding the Great Mystery that is your life? I discuss the possibilities for the week ahead in your Expanded Audio Horoscope.

I'm also still offering a MID-YEAR PREVIEW -- an audio report on YOUR LONG-TERM DESTINY from now through JANUARY 2015 and beyond. To hear it, log in through the main page, and then click on the link "Long Term Forecast for Second Half of 2014." The cost is $6.

What are your plans for the rest of the year? Could you use some more help in mapping out your dreams and schemes? Maybe you can accomplish more than you think in the next nine months. Tune in.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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For some seekers, spiritual enlightenment is the ultimate commodity. They believe that through diligent meditation and self-improvement, there will come a day when it will no longer elude their grasp. Breaking through to the singular state of cosmic consciousness, they will forever after own it, free and clear. Permanently illuminated! Never to backslide into the dull ignominy of normal human awareness!

Here's what I have to say about that: It's a delusion.

The fact is, the nature of perfection is always mutating. What constitutes enlightenment today will always be different tomorrow. Even if you're fortunate and wise enough to score a sliver of "enlightenment," it's not a static treasure that becomes your indestructible, everlasting possession. Rather, it remains a mercurial knack that must be continually re-earned.

If you want to befriend the Divine Wow, you must not only be willing to change ceaselessly -- you have to love to change ceaselessly.

Lucky you: All of creation is conspiring to help you live like that.