When the path ahead divides in two, Aries, I am hoping you can work some magic that will allow you to take both ways at once. If you do master this riddle, if you can creatively figure out how to split yourself without doing any harm, I have a strong suspicion that the two paths will once again come together no later than August 1, possibly before. But due to a curious quirk in the laws of life, the two forks will never again converge if you follow just one of them now.

Need more help deciphering the riddles and enigmas that are fueling your amazing story? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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"Objection, evasion, joyous distrust, and love of irony are signs of health. Everything absolute belongs to pathology." So proclaimed Friedrich Nietzsche in Beyond Good and Evil. Note well that he used the adjective "joyous" to describe distrust, not "cynical" or "grumbling" or "sour." The key to remaining vital and strong while questioning every so-called absolute is to cultivate a cheerful, buoyant mood as you do it.

I see you as having more in common with a marathon runner than a speed racer. Your best qualities tend to emerge when you're committed to a process that takes a while to unfold. Learning to pace yourself is a crucial life lesson. That's how you get attuned to your body's signals and master the art of caring for your physical needs. That's also how you come to understand that it's important not to compare yourself constantly to the progress other people are making. Having said all that, Taurus, I want to recommend a temporary exception to the rule. Just for now, it may make sense for you to run fast for a short time.

No one knows you better than you do, but maybe I can help you dig up even more self-knowledge. Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Here are three of our deepest spiritual aspirations, which we invite you to steal for your own use: 1. to develop the capacity to thrive in the midst of raging contradictions; 2. to be discerning as we protect ourselves from people's flaws while at the same time being generous as we celebrate their beauty; 3. to refrain from dividing the world into two groups, those who help and agree with us and those who don't.

If you fling handfuls of zucchini seeds on the ground of a vacant lot today, you shouldn't expect neat rows of ripe cucumbers to be growing in your backyard in a couple of weeks. Even if you fling zucchini seeds in your backyard today, you shouldn't expect straight rows of cucumbers to be growing there by June 1. Let's get even more precise here. If you carefully plant zucchini seeds in neat rows in your backyard today, you should not expect ripe cucumbers to sprout by August. But here's the kicker: If you carefully plant cucumbers seeds in your backyard today, and weed them and water them as they grow, you can indeed expect ripe cucumbers by August.

Wouldn't you love to learn more about who you really are? What better adventure is there than learning about your soul's code? For more hints, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Visualize yourself being able to recognize the raw truth about the people you care about. Imagine that you can see how they already embody the beauty their souls' codes have promised as well as how they still fall short of embodying that beauty.

Picture yourself being able to make them feel appreciated even as you inspire them to risk changes that will activate more of their souls' codes.

"If we want the rewards of being loved," says cartoonist Tim Kreider, "we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known." How are you doing with this trade-off, Cancerian? Being a Crab myself, I know we are sometimes inclined to hide who we really are. We have mixed feelings about becoming vulnerable and available enough to be fully known by others. We might even choose to live without the love we crave so as to prop up the illusion of strength that comes from being mysterious, from concealing our depths. The coming weeks will be a good time for you to revisit this conundrum.

I hope the oracle above provides you with the inspiration you need to do what you've got to do and change what needs to be changed. But if you need more clues, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE, where I go further in exploring your mysteries.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Plant orchids on a strip-mined hill.

Imagine you have a guardian angel who looks like Malcolm X.

Teach an animal to dance.

Hire a puppet troupe to reenact your life story using marionettes in Renaissance costumes.

Make believe you are the ocean king or thunder queen.

Improvise a fresh bedtime story for someone you love.

Put on an inflatable sumo wrestler costume and play a bagpipe as badly as possible.

Watch TV with your third eye.

Sip holy water blessed by a smart teenage girl.

Bear in mind that you are the Chosen One, and so is everyone else.

There's a piece of art on the moon: a ceramic disk inscribed with six drawings by noted American artists. It was carried on the landing module of the Apollo 12 mission, which delivered two astronauts to the lunar surface in November 1969. One of the artists, Leo maverick Andy Warhol, drew the image of a stylized penis, similar to what you might see on the wall of a public restroom. "He was being the terrible bad boy," the project's organizer said about Warhol's contribution. You know me, Leo. I usually love playful acts of rebellion. But in the coming weeks, I advise against taking Warhol's approach. If you're called on to add your self-expression to a big undertaking, tilt in the direction of sincerity and reverence and dignity.

For more help in understanding your relationship with the game of life, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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The dangers of excessive politeness are perfectly exemplified in the medieval legend of Parzival, Arthur's purest knight. His quest for the Holy Grail leads him to a castle where he is welcomed by a wounded lord. At dinner, a mysterious bowl captivates Parzival's attention. He's dying to know more about it, but he holds his tongue. His training as a knight has taught him that it's uncourteous to express too much curiosity.

Tragically, he doesn't realize that he has arrived at the very place where his quest could be satisfied. The wounded lord is actually the Fisher King, the marvelous bowl is the Grail, and he is being presented with a magical test. The test consists of a simple task: to ask about the bowl. Because Parzival fails to do so, the king does not reveal the secret and does not give him the Grail.

The next morning, Parzival wakes up to find the castle empty, and he leaves having missed the very opportunity he wanted most.

The planet we live on is in constant transformation. Nothing ever stays the same. To succeed, let alone survive, we need to acclimate ourselves to the relentless forward motion. "He not busy being born is busy dying," was Bob Dylan's way of framing our challenge. How are you doing with this aspect of life, Virgo? Do you hate it but deal with it grudgingly? Tolerate it and aspire to be a master of it someday? Whatever your current attitude is, I'm here to tell you that in the coming months you could become much more comfortable with the ceaseless flow -- and even learn to enjoy it. Are you ready to begin?

Would you like further inspiration as you scheme and dream to make the most of life's sometimes puzzling opportunities? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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"I've been practicing radical authenticity lately," my friend Brandon told me. "I'm revealing the blunt truth about unmentionable subjects to everyone I know. It's been pretty hellish -- no one likes having the social masks stripped away -- but it's been ultimately rewarding."

"I admire your boldness in naming the currents flowing beneath the surface," I replied, "but I'm curious as to why you imply they're all negative. To practice radical authenticity, shouldn't you also express the raw truth about what's right, good, and beautiful? Shouldn't you unleash the praise and gratitude that normally go unspoken?"

"It isn't that I don't like sweet disorder," said English author Vita Sackville-West, "but it has to be judiciously arranged." That's your theme for the week, Libra. Please respect how precise a formulation this is. Plain old ordinary disorder will not provide you with the epiphanies and breakthroughs you deserve and need. The disorder must be sweet. If it doesn't make you feel at least a little excited and more in love with life, avoid it. The disorder must also be judiciously arranged. What that means is that it can't be loud or vulgar or profane. Rather, it must have wit and style and a hint of crazy wisdom.

What exactly are you looking for? How would you describe the experiences you want more than anything else? It's possible my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE could give you additional help in figuring that out.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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In Tibetan Buddhism's "Four Dignities of the Warrior's Path," courage and ferocity are absent. In fact, the qualities regarded as essential for being a warrior have nothing in common with the training regimens of Marines or football players or lobbyists.

The first dignity is often translated in English as meekness, but that word doesn't convey its full meaning. "Relaxed confidence" is a more precise formulation -- a humble feeling of being at home in one's body.

Perkiness, or irrepressible joy, is the second dignity. To develop it, a warrior cultivates the habit of seeing the best in everything and works diligently to avoid the self-indulgence of cynicism.

The third is outrageousness. The warrior who embodies this dignity loves to experiment, is not addicted to strategies that have been successful in the past, and has a passionate objectivity that's free of the irrelevant emotions of hope and fear.

The fourth dignity is inscrutability, or a skill at evading the pigeonholes and simplistic definitions that might limit the warrior's inventiveness while fighting for his or her moral vision.

I have three sets of questions for you, Scorpio. First, are you anyone's muse? Is there a person who draws inspiration from the way you live? Here's my second query: Are you strong medicine for anyone? Are you the source of riddles that confound and intrigue them, compelling them to outgrow their narrow perspectives? Here's my third inquiry: Are you anyone's teacher? Are you an influence that educates someone about the meaning of life? If you do play any of these roles, Scorpio, they are about to heat up and transform. If you don't currently serve at least one of these functions, there's a good chance you will start to soon.

Want to hear more about the subconscious factors and hidden forces that may be influencing your life? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Here's one of the Beauty and Truth Laboratory's favorite rules for evaluating the information that comes our way: Assume that it's a blend of truth and falsehood and every shade of half-truth in between. That applies equally to stories in The New York Times and to the raving spiels of the homeless Gulf War vet who hangs out at the local post office.

While I suspect that the Times has a much higher proportion of accurate data, I can never be sure what distortions are embedded in its reports. Its unconscious devotion to pop nihilism means that it routinely ignores vast realms of human experience. And there are odd days when the homeless guy's rants spit out gems of poetic wisdom that give me the chills and change the way I understand the world.

Moral of the story: Useful messages may come from anywhere. I'm more likely to recognize them if I'm simultaneously curious and discriminating.

According to my reading of the astrological omens, you should draw inspiration from this Chinese proverb: "Never do anything standing that you can do sitting, or anything sitting that you can do lying down." In other words, Sagittarius, you need extra downtime. So please say NO to any influence that says, "Do it now! Be maniacally efficient! Multitask as if your life depended on it! The more active you are the more successful you will be!" Instead, give yourself ample opportunity to play and daydream and ruminate.

To further explore the ripening blessings and interesting challenges in your life, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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To achieve what the Zen Buddhists call "beginner's mind," you dispense with all preconceptions and enter each situation as if seeing it for the first time. "In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities," wrote Shunryu Suzuki in his book Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind, "but in the expert's there are few."

As much as I love beginner's mind, though, I advocate an additional discipline: cultivating a beginner's heart. That means approaching every encounter imbued with a freshly invoked wave of love that is as pure as if you're feeling it for the first time.

In Raymond Chandler's pulp fiction novel Farewell, My Lovely, his main character is detective Philip Marlowe. At one point Marlowe says, "I needed a drink, I needed a lot of life insurance, I needed a vacation, I needed a home in the country. What I had was a coat, a hat and a gun." In accordance with your astrological omens, Capricorn, I'm asking you to figure out how you might be like Marlowe. Are there differences between what you think you need and what you actually have? If so, now is an excellent time to launch initiatives to fix the discrepancies.

Need more whacks applied to your mental blocks? More caresses bestowed upon your growing edge? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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To be the best pronoiac explorer you can be, I suggest you adopt an outlook that combines the rigorous objectivity of a scientist, the "beginner's mind" of Zen Buddhism, the "beginner's heart" of pronoia, and the compassionate friendliness of the Dalai Lama. Blend a scrupulously dispassionate curiosity with a skepticism driven by expansiveness, not spleen.

To pull this off, you'll have to be willing to regularly suspend your brilliant theories about the way the world works. Accept with good humor the possibility that what you've learned in the past may not be a reliable guide to understanding the fresh phenomenon that's right in front of you. Be suspicious of your biases, even the rational and benevolent ones. Open your heart as you strip away the interpretations that your emotions might be inclined to impose.

"Before we can receive the unbiased truth about anything," wrote my teacher Ann Davies, "we have to be ready to ignore what we would like to be true."

At the same time, don't turn into a hard-ass, poker-faced robot. Keep your feelings moist and receptive. Remember your natural affection for all of creation. Enjoy the power of tender sympathy as it drives you to probe for the unimaginable revelations of every new moment. "Before we can receive the entire truth about anything," said Ann Davies, "we have to love it."

There's a slightly better chance than usual that you will have a whirlwind affair with a Bollywood movie star who's on vacation. The odds are also higher than normal that you will receive a tempting invitation from a secret admirer, or meet the soul twin you didn't even know you were searching for, or get an accidental text message from a stranger who turns out to be the reincarnation of your beloved from a previous lifetime. But the likelihood of all those scenarios pales in comparison to the possibility that you will learn big secrets about how to make yourself even more lovable than you already are.

Where do you want to go? Who do you want to be? For more clues, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Receptivity is not a passive state. Nor is it a blank emptiness, waiting around for whatever happens to come along. In urging you to cultivate receptivity, I don't mean you should become a lazy do-nothing bereft of goals, reacting blindly to whatever life throws in front of you.

Receptivity is a robust readiness to be surprised and moved, a vigorous intention to be awake to everything you can't control. When you're receptive in the pronoiac style, you have strong ideas and a powerful will and an eagerness to disseminate your unique blessings, but you're also animated by the humble certainty that you have a lot to learn.

Author Eva Dane defines writer's block as what happens "when your imaginary friends stop talking to you." I suspect that something like this has been happening for you lately, Pisces -- even if you're not a writer. What I mean is that some of the most reliable and sympathetic voices in your head have grown quiet: ancestors, dear friends who are no longer in your life, ex-lovers you still have feelings for, former teachers who have remained a strong presence in your imagination, animals you once cared for who have departed, and maybe even some good, old-fashioned spirits and angels. Where did they go? What happened to them? I suspect they are merely taking a break. They may have thought it wise to let you fend for yourself for a while. But don't worry. They will be back soon.

Would you like to hear me say some more about your ever-evolving destiny? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Most people associate innocence with naivete. Conventional wisdom regards it as belonging to children and fools and rookies who lack the sophistication or experience to know the tough truths about life.

But the Beauty and Truth Lab recognizes a different kind of innocence. It's based on an understanding that the world is always changing, and therefore deserves to be seen fresh every day. This alternative brand of innocence is fueled by an aggressive determination to keep clearing one's imagination of all preconceptions.

"Ignorance is not knowing anything and being attracted to the good," wrote Clarissa Pinkola Estes in Women Who Run with the Wolves. "Innocence is knowing everything and still being attracted to the good.