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Horoscopes by Rob Brezsny


Week of February 27th, 2014

♈ ARIES

(March 21-April 19)
The battles you've been waging these last ten months have been worthy of you. They've tested your mettle and grown your courage. But I suspect that your relationship with these battles is due for a shift. In the future they may not serve you as well as they have up until now. At the very least, you will need to alter your strategy and tactics. It's also possible that now is the time to leave them behind entirely -- to graduate from them and search for a new cause that will activate the next phase of your evolution as an enlightened warrior. What do you think?


Grace emerges in the ebb and flow, not just the flow. The waning reveals a different blessing than the waxing. Where are you in the great cycle of your life? For inspiration in figuring it all out, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Poet Kay Ryan told the Christian Science Monitor how she cultivates the inspiration to write. She rouses the sense of a "self-imposed emergency," thereby calling forth psychic resources that usually materialize only in response to a crisis.

Please note that she doesn't provoke an actual emergency: She doesn't arrange to have a loved one get pinned beneath the wheels of a car. She doesn't climb out onto the window ledge on the 22nd story of a high-rise. Instead, she visualizes hypothetical situations that galvanize her to shift into a dramatically heightened state of awareness.

What imagined emergencies could you invoke to inspire your deep self to rise up and make its mark?

♉ TAURUS

(April 20-May 20)
"Life is like Sanskrit read to a pony," said Lou Reed. That might be an accurate assessment for most people much of the time, but I don't think it will be true for you in the coming days. On the contrary: You will have a special capacity to make contact and establish connection. You've heard of dog whisperers and ghost whisperers? You will be like an all-purpose, jack-of-all-trades whisperer -- able to commune and communicate with nervous creatures and alien life forms and pretty much everything else. If anyone can get a pony to understand Sanskrit, it will be you.


Whether it's your time to ferment in the shadows or sing in the sun, fresh power to transform yourself is on the way. Life always delivers the creative energy you need to change into the new thing you must become. For more help in understanding it all, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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I love this excerpt from "The Seeker," a poem by Rilke in his Book of Hours (translated by Robert Bly): "I am circling around God, around the ancient tower, / and I have been circling for a thousand years, / and I still don't know if I am a falcon, or a storm, / or a great song." Here's my own permutation: "I am circling around love, around the throbbing hum, and I have been circling for thousands of days, and I still don't know if I am a wounded saint, or a rainy dawn, or a creation story."

Compose your own version.

♊ GEMINI

(May 21-June 20)
Does Kim Kardashian tweak and groom her baby daughter's eyebrows? They look pretty amazing, after all -- elegant, neat, perfectly shaped. What do you think, Gemini? HA! I was just messing with you. I was checking to see if you're susceptible to getting distracted by meaningless fluff like celebrity kids' grooming habits. The cosmic truth of the matter is that you should be laser-focused on the epic possibilities that your destiny is bringing to your attention. It's time to reframe your life story. How? Here's my suggestion: See yourself as being on a mythic quest to discover and fully express your soul's code.


You can learn to be lucky. It's not a mystical force you're born with, but a habit you can develop. How? For starters, be open to new experiences, trust your gut wisdom, expect good fortune, see the bright side of challenging events, and master the art of maximizing serendipitous opportunities. For more help, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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In the Western Hermetic version of the Qabala, every Hebrew letter is paired with a number, and so every word is also a number derived from the addition of its letters. Gematria is the practice of finding hidden resonance between words that have similar numerical values. Of the many poetic truths revealed through this art, one of my favorites is this: The Hebrew words for both "serpent" and "messiah" add up to 358.

Let's suppose this can be interpreted to mean that the snaky potency of your reproductive drive is potentially the source of your salvation. What implications might that have for how you cultivate the art of ecstasy?

♋ CANCERIAN

(June 21-July 22)
The 19th-century American folk hero known as Wild Bill Hickok was born James Butler Hickok. At various times in his life he was a scout for the army, a lawman for violent frontier towns, a professional gambler, and a performer in Buffalo Bill's Wild West Show. Women found him charismatic, and he once killed an attacking bear with a knife. He had a brother Lorenzo who came to be known as Tame Bill Hickok. In contrast to Wild Bill, Tame Bill was quiet, gentle, and cautious. He lived an uneventful life as a wagon master, and children loved him. Right now, Cancerian, I'm meditating on how I'd like to see your inner Wild Bill come out to play for a while, even as your inner Tame Bill takes some time off.


Somewhere there's a treasure that has no value to anyone but you, and a secret that's meaningless to everyone except you, and a frontier that harbors a revelation only you would know how to exploit. Why not go in search of those things? For inspiration, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Elijah, the beer truck driver who lives in the trailer with old tires, rusty tools, and the husk of a 1975 Chevy El Camino littering the driveway, tells me that everything he knows about God can be summed up in the bumper sticker on the back of the El Camino, which reads "Theresa and Johnny's Comfort Food -- Live Free or Die."

Mythologist Joseph Campbell, on the other hand, suggested we should imagine a deity to be like a floating ball of fire that would immediately kill anyone it touched.

Then there's the poet Rumi. He envisioned God as your tender Best Friend and Unpredictable Ally who's always as close as your own breath.

Which version do you prefer?

♌ LEO

(July 23-August 22)
"If I was a love poet," writes Rudy Francisco, addressing a lover, "I'd write about how you have the audacity to be beautiful even on days when everything around you is ugly." I suspect you have that kind of audacity right now, Leo. In fact, I bet the ugliness you encounter will actually incite you to amplify the gorgeous charisma you're radiating. The sheer volume of lyrical soulfulness that pours out of you will have so much healing power that you may even make the ugly stuff less ugly. I'm betting that you will lift up everything you touch, nudging it in the direction of grace and elegance and charm.


When they say "Be yourself," which self do they mean? Certainly not the self that wants to win every game and use up every resource and stand alone at the end of time on a mountain of pretty garbage. So which self is it? For guidance, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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"Take time to stop and smell the flowers," says an old homily. Albert Hoffman, the Swiss scientist who discovered LSD and lived to age 102, had a different approach. "Take the time to stop and be the flowers," he said.

That's my advice to you. Don't just set aside a few stolen moments to sniff the snapdragons, taste the rain, chase the wind, watch the hummingbirds, and listen to a friend. Use your imagination to actually be the snapdragons and rain and wind and hummingbirds and friend. Don't just behold the Other; become the Other.

♍ VIRGO

(August 23-September 22)
"You miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take," says hockey great Wayne Gretzky. In other words, you shouldn't be timid about shooting the puck toward the goal. Don't worry about whether you have enough skill or confidence or luck. Just take the damn shot. You'll never score if you don't shoot. Or so the theory goes. But an event in a recent pro hockey game showed there's an exception to the rule. A New York player named Chris Kreider was guiding the puck with his stick as he skated toward the Minnesota team's goalie. But when Kreider cocked and swung his stick, he missed the puck entirely. He whiffed. And yet the puck kept sliding slowly along all by itself. It somehow flummoxed the goalie, sneaking past him right into the net. Goal! New rule: You miss only 99.9 percent of the shots you don't take. I believe you will soon benefit from this loophole, Virgo.


Take inventory of the extent that "No" dominates your life. Notice how often you say or think: 1. "That's not right." 2. "I don't like that." 3. "I don't agree with that." 4. "They don't like me." 5. "I'm not very good." 6. "That should be different from what it is." For help in retraining yourself to say "Yes!" at least 51% of the time, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Beauty and Truth Lab researcher Rebecca Rusche coined the word "careenstable." Here's her explanation of how it originated: "In high school, my mom used to let me use her VW Beetle to go to basketball practice. One night after practice, a friend and I were chatting and drinking Coke when we decided to see how fast we could get the Beetle going down a nearby dirt road. Soon we were careening at 65 mph, shouting 'careen!' every time we hit a bump and flew into the air.

"When we arrived back at the gym and got out of the car half an hour later, we saw my Coke can sitting on the front bumper next to the license plate. I nudged it softly to see if it was lodged in there, but it fell right off -- wasn't stuck at all. I thought, 'There must be a word for this magic,' and thus 'careenstable' was born. It came to mean anything that maintains its poise in the midst of wild, fast movement."

Give an example of how you could experiment with making careenstable work in your own life.

♎ LIBRA

(September 23-October 22)
If you are the type of person who wears gloves when you throw snowballs, Germans would call you Handschuhschneeballwerfer. They use the same word as slang to mean "coward." I'm hoping that in the coming days you won't display any behavior that would justify you being called Handschuhschneeballwerfer. You need to bring a raw, direct, straightforward attitude to everything you do. You shouldn't rely on any buffers, surrogates, or intermediaries. Metaphorically speaking, make sure that nothing comes between your bare hands and the pure snow.


How's your fight for freedom going? Are you making progress in liberating yourself from your unconscious obsessions, bad habits, and conditioned responses? For assistance and inspiration, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Sacred is trendy! Among the many recent books that invoke the concept are Sacred Flowers, The Sacred Art of Hunting, Sacred Hoops (about basketball), Sacred Monsters, Sacred Hunger, The Sacred Landscape, and Sacred Sexuality. It's fine with me, really. I'd like to sacralize the whole damn world.

There was one case, however, that tested even my capacity to find holy meaning everywhere: a class offered at the New Age Expo called "The Sacred Art of Publicity." When I saw that, I nearly spit out the gulp of goji berry and spirulina smoothie that I had just sipped. "What's next?" I thought. "Sacred shopping for automatic weapons? Sacred gambling at an Indian casino?" But in the next moment I had to admit that even those might be possible.

What's the most outlandish sacred act you can think of pulling off? Do it.

♏ SCORPIO

(October 23-November 21)
In his song "4th of July, Asbury Park (Sandy)," Bruce Springsteen mentions a disappointing development. "That waitress I was seeing lost her desire for me," he sings. "She said she won't set herself on fire for me anymore." I'm assuming nothing like that has happened to you recently, Scorpio. Just the opposite: I bet there are attractive creatures out there who would set themselves on fire for you. If for some reason this isn't true, fix the problem! You have a cosmic mandate to be incomparably irresistible.


Assume that your drive to experience pleasure isn't a barrier to your spiritual growth, but is in fact essential to it. Proceed on the hypothesis that cultivating joy can make you a more ethical and compassionate person. Imagine that feeling good has something important to teach you every day. For inspiration in practicing this approach, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Many life processes unfold outside of your conscious awareness: your body digesting your food and circulating your blood; trees using carbon dioxide, water, and sunlight to synthesize their nourishment; microorganisms in the soil beneath your feet endlessly toiling to create humus. You don't perceive any of these things directly; they're invisible to you.

Tune in to this vitalizing alchemy. Use your X-ray vision and sub-sonic hearing and psychic smelling. See if you can absorb by osmosis some of the euphoria of the trees as they soak in the sunlight from above and water from below.

♐ SAGITTARIUS

(November 22-December 21)
"Some people say home is where you come from," says a character in Katie Kacvinsky's novel Awaken. "But I think it’s a place you need to find, like it's scattered and you pick pieces of it up along the way." That's an idea I invite you to act on in the coming weeks, Sagittarius. It will be an excellent time to discover more about where you belong and who you belong with. And the best way to do that is to be aggressive as you search far and wide for clues, even in seemingly unlikely places that maybe you would never guess contain scraps of home.


"Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show." So begins Charles Dickens' novel David Copperfield. I'd like to inspire you to write a story of your own that begins like that. For help, tune into your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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In certain Native American traditions, the hole was a symbol for the female genitalia, through which souls enter this realm. In American scientific lore, a wormhole is a backdoor shortcut between two places in space separated by an astronomical distance. In my personal mythos, those are my two favorite nuances in the archetype of the hole.

When I was a kid I loved to fantasize that I'd obtained a magic hole like the one Bugs Bunny had in the comic books. It was a portable hole that Bugs could take with him everywhere and apply to any barrier he needed to slip through. Once he even managed to slap it up against the sky, giving him access to another dimension where the whole world was inside him, not outside. (Or was that a dream I had?)

What would you do with your portable magic hole?

♑ CAPRICORN

(December 22-January 19)
What words bring the most points in the game of Scrabble? Expert Christopher Swenson says that among the top scorers are "piezoelectrical" and "ubiquitarianism" -- assuming favorable placements on the board that bring double letter and triple word scores. The first word can potentially net 1,107 points, and the second 1,053. There are metaphorical clues here, Capricorn, for how you might achieve maximum success in the next phase of the game of life. You should be well-informed about the rules, including their unusual corollaries and loopholes. Be ready to call on expert help and specialized knowledge. Assume that your luck will be greatest if you are willing to plan nonstandard gambits and try bold tricks.


I invite you to keep a running list of all the ways life delights you and helps you and energizes you. Describe everyday miracles you take for granted . . . the uncanny powers you possess . . . the small joys that occur so routinely you forget how much they mean to you . . . the steady flow of benefits bestowed on you by people you know and don't know. What works for you? What makes you feel at home in the world? For inspiration in this noble effort, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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"The people of future generations will win many a liberty of which we do not yet even feel the want," said German philosopher Max Stirner. See if you can become aware of an interesting freedom that has not previously been on your radar screen.

♒ AQUARIUS

(January 20- February 18)
Sorry to report that you won't win the lottery this week. It's also unlikely that you will score an unrecognized Rembrandt painting for a few dollars at a thrift store or discover that you have inherited a chinchilla farm in Peru or stumble upon a stash of gold coins half-buried in the woods. On the other hand, you may get provocative clues about how you could increase your cash flow. To ensure you will notice those clues when they arrive, drop your expectations about where they might come from.


All of creation loves you very much. Even now, people you know and people you don't know are collaborating to make sure you have all you need to make your next smart move. But are you willing to start loving life back with an equal intensity? The adoration it offers you has not exactly been unrequited, but there is room for you to be more demonstrative. For help in cultivating this approach, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Meditate on the following rant, which Beauty and Truth Lab operatives put on flyers and tacked up on laundromat bulletin boards all over San Francisco:

"The Doctrine of Original Sin? We spit on it. We reject it. We renounce it and forget it and annihilate it from reality. In its place we embrace the Doctrine of Original Fun. This reformulation asserts that it is our birthright to commune with regular doses of curious beauty and tricky truth and insurrectionary love. A robust, heroic joy is even now roaring through us, bringing us good ideas about how to apply the metaphor of ingenious foreplay to everything we do. We will not waste this euphoric deluge on any of the million and one numbing little diversions that pass for pleasure among the ecstasy-starved pursuers of mediocre joy. Rather, we will remain ever alert for the call of primordial delight."

♓ PISCES

(February 19-March 20)
Avery, a character in Anne Michaels' novel The Winter Vault, has a unique way of seeing. When he arrives in a place for the first time, he "makes room for it in his heart." He "lets himself be altered" by it. At one point in the story he visits an old Nubian city in Egypt and is overwhelmed by its exotic beauty. Its brightly colored houses are like "shouts of joy," like "gardens springing up in the sand after a rainfall." After drinking in the sights, he marvels, "It will take all my life to learn what I have seen today." Everything I just described is akin to experiences you could have in the coming weeks, Pisces. Can you make room in your heart for the dazzle?


What is the obvious secret you can't quite see? How could you turn your challenges into daily gifts for yourself? For clues to mysteries like these, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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"The really important kind of freedom," said David Foster Wallace, "involves attention and awareness and discipline, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them over and over in myriad petty, unsexy ways every day."

Is that an interesting kind of freedom to you? Can you imagine any scenario in which practicing it would crack you open and pour you into an ecstatic state?


Listen to Rob's Expanded Audio Horoscopes, updated weekly.



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