A woman from New Mexico wrote to tell me that after reading my horoscopes for three years in the Santa Fe Reporter, she had decided to stop. "I changed my beliefs," she said. "I no longer resonate with your philosophy." On the one hand, I was sad that I had lost a reader. On the other hand, I admired her for being able to transform her beliefs, and also for taking practical action to enforce her shift in perspective. That's the kind of purposeful metamorphosis I recommend for you, Aries. What ideas are you ready to shed? What theories no longer explain the nature of life to your satisfaction? Be ruthless in cutting away the thoughts that no longer work for you.

How much do you want to know about your life? How far do you dare to go in your quest for self-mastery? For more insight into your intriguing fate, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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"Keep exploring what it takes to be the opposite of who you are," suggests psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, author of the book Creativity: Flow and the Psychology of Discovery and Invention. This advice is one of his ideas about how to get into attunement with the Tao, also known as being in the zone.

How would you go about being the opposite of who you are? Try it and see if it drives you into a state of euphoria.

In Arthurian legend, Camelot was the castle where King Arthur held court and ruled his kingdom. It housed the Round Table, where Arthur's knights congregated for important events. Until recently, I had always imagined that the table was relatively small and the number of knights few. But then I discovered that several old stories say there was enough room for 150 knights. It wasn't an exclusive, elitist group. I suspect you will experience a similar evolution, Taurus. You may be wishing you could become part of a certain circle, but assume it's too exclusive or selective to welcome you as a member. I suspect it's more receptive and inclusive than you think.

Would you like to hear more about the hidden factors influencing your life? Do you want to uncover the secrets you've been hiding even from yourself? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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When playing the card game known as bridge, you're fortunate if you're dealt no cards of any particular suit. It allows you to use the trump suit to win tricks.

Identify a situation in your own life where a lack of a certain resource can work to your advantage, allowing you to be a free agent, an X-factor, a wild card; freeing you to capitalize on loopholes that aren't normally available; giving you access to luck that comes to you through what you're missing.

The renowned Lakota medicine man Sitting Bull (1831-1890) wasn't born with that name. For the first years of his life he was known as Jumping Badger. His father renamed him when he was a teenager after he demonstrated exceptional courage in battle. I'd like to see you consider a similar transition in the coming months, Gemini. You're due to add some gravitas to your approach. The tides of destiny are calling you to move more deliberately and take greater care with the details. Are you willing to experiment with being solid and stable? The more willing you are to assume added responsibility, the more interesting that responsibility is likely to be.

Do you wish you could get more clarity about the foggy, ambiguous situations you're dealing with? Want more help in exploring the Great Mystery that is your life? I discuss your coming week in greater depth in your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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I was never the class clown. I am not a troubled but devilishly handsome wastrel living on a trust fund. I've never beaten up anyone, have steadfastly not aspired to write like Raymond Carver, and have never played strip Scrabble with a junkie violinist on a leaky waterbed in a Key West penthouse. There are so many things I am not and will never be, and I'm glad I know about them. It helps me stay focused on exactly who I am. What about you? Who aren't you? Fantasize about all the paths you will never take. Put it in writing.

The English noun "offing" refers to the farthest reach of the ocean that is still visible as you stand on the beach. It's a good symbol for something that is at a distance from you and yet still within view. I suggest that you take a long thoughtful look at the metaphorical offing that's visible from where you stand. You'll be wise to identify what's looming for you in the future so you can start working to ensure you will get the best possible version of it.

Do you want further explorations of the intriguing twists and turns of your personal evolution? Would you like help in solving the riddles that confuse you? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Do you have an unconscious belief that the forces of evil are loud, vigorous, and strong, while good is quiet, gentle, and passive? Gather evidence that contradicts this irrational prejudice.

Are you secretly suspicious of joy because you think it's inevitably rooted in wishful thinking and a willful ignorance about the true nature of reality? Expose these suspicions as superstitions that aren't grounded in any objective data you can actually prove.

Do you fear that when you're in the presence of love and beauty you tend to become softheaded, whereas you're likely to feel smart and powerful when you're sneering at the ugliness around you? As an antidote, for a given amount of time, say a week or a month or a year, act as if the following hypothesis were true: that you're more likely to grow smarter when you're in the presence of love and beauty.

A large plaster Buddha statue was housed at a modest temple in Bangkok, Thailand from 1935 to 1955. No one knew its age or origins. In May of 1955, workers were struggling to move the heavy ten-foot icon to a new building on the temple grounds when it accidentally broke free of the ropes that secured it. As it hit the ground, a chunk of plaster fell off, revealing a sheen of gold beneath. Religious leaders authorized the removal of the remaining plaster surface. Hidden inside was a solid gold Buddha that is today worth $250 million dollars. Research later revealed that the plaster had been applied by 18th-century monks to prevent the statue from being looted. I foresee a comparable sequence unfolding in the coming weeks for you, Leo. What will it take to free a valuable resource that's concealed within a cheap veneer?

Need more help in figuring out the questions life is asking you? Crave more support in your efforts to build your courage? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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My friend Riley was the first member of her family to attend college. None of her hardscrabble Irish forebears had ever pursued higher education. In her senior year, Riley began having nightmares of her relatives trying to stop her from finishing school. In one recurring dream, her great-grandfather burned all her textbooks. In another, a mob of aunts and uncles tackled her and held her down as she tried to get to class.

Despite these psychic obstacles, Riley persevered in her studies and eventually got her diploma. The week after graduation, she had another dream: A host of her ancestors came to her in the form of a great choir singing songs in praise of her success.

Riley's psychotherapist speculated that the dream meant she had not only overcome the inertia of her heritage, but had also healed an ancient wound of her family going back many generations. Is there a similar accomplishment you're capable of? What is it?

Holistic health teacher Deepak Chopra suggests that we all periodically make this statement: "Every decision I make is a choice between a grievance and a miracle. I relinquish all regrets, grievances, and resentments, and choose the miracle." Is that too New Age for you, Virgo? I hope you can drop any prejudices you might have about it and simply make it your own. It's the precise formula you need to spin this week's events in the right direction -- working for you rather than against you.

What fresh blessings will life bring you? What questions should you be asking? To explore the ripening trends further, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Is the universe inherently friendly to humans? The answer's got to be either "yes, definitely" or "no, not really." It can't be in between. Whatever you may be inclined to believe, you've got to agree that there's no way to know which is true with absolute certainty.

So then isn't it stupid and self-destructive to live your life as if the universe is unfriendly? Doing so tends to cast a pall over everything. But if on the other hand you proceed on the hypothesis that the universe is friendly, you're inclined to interpret everything that occurs as a gift, however challenging it may be to figure out its purpose at first.

In the savannas of Africa, waterholes are crucial for life. During the rainy season, there are enough to go around for every animal species to drink and bathe in comfortably. But the dry season shrinks the size and number of the waterholes. The impala may have to share with the hippopotamus, the giraffe with the warthog. Let's use this as a metaphor to speculate about your future. I'm guessing that the dry season will soon be arriving in your part of the world. The waterholes may dwindle. But that could ultimately prove to be a lucky development, because it will bring you into contact with interesting life forms you might not have otherwise met. Unexpected new alliances could emerge.

Want to explore this chapter of your life story even further? Dig deeper? Push harder? Consider tuning in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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"The seed cannot sprout upwards without simultaneously sending roots into the ground," says an Egyptian proverb. Keep that thought in mind as you head into your next phase of growth. What part of you needs to deepen as you rise up? What growth needs to unfold in the hidden places as you gravitate toward the light? How can you go about balancing and stabilizing your ascension with a downward penetration?

In his book The Storytelling Animal: How Stories Make Us Human, literary scholar Jonathan Gottschall muses on the crucial role that imagination plays in our lives. "[The] average daydream is about fourteen seconds long and [we] have about two thousand of them per day," he says. "In other words, we spend about half of our waking hours -- one-third of our lives on earth -- spinning fantasies." I bring this to your attention, Scorpio, because you are entering a phase when your daydreams can serve you well. They're more likely than usual to be creative, productive, and useful. Monitor them closely.

You're got more strength and intelligence than you realize. For help in accessing those untapped inner resources, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Some Christians believe Jesus will come back to fix this corrupt world. Certain Jewish sects propose that the messiah will soon appear on Earth for the first time. Among Muslims, many predict the legendary Twelfth Imam will return and bring salvation to humanity.

In India, devotees of Vishnu expect the avatar Kalki to arrive on the scene and carry out a series of miraculous redemptions. Even Buddhists prophesy Maitreya, the chosen one who will establish universal peace.

My divinations foretell a very different scenario. I suspect that the whole point of our spectacularly confounding moment in history is that each of us must become our own savior. And if we hope to accomplish that, relying on our best amateur efforts, we will have to stop waiting around for a supposed professional to do our work for us. We should also shed our addiction to believing in the possibility of any kind of magical intervention.

Franz Kafka had a view that's not necessarily mutually exclusive with mine: "The messiah will come when we don't need him anymore."

Let's also consider the evidence offered by William Blake, as quoted in Poets and God by David L. Edwards: "Jesus Christ is the only God. And so am I. And so are you."

One more clue, this time from Deepak Chopra: "Every person is a God in embryo. Its only desire is to be born."

The Russian composer Dmitri Shostakovich wrote his Eighth Symphony in a mere two months during the summer of 1943. He worked on it in an old henhouse on a former chicken farm. The location helped relax him, allowing him to work with extra intensity. I wish you could find a retreat like that for yourself sometime soon, Sagittarius. I think you would benefit from going off by yourself to a sanctuary and having some nice long talks with your ancestors, the spirits of nature, and your deepest self. If that's not practical right now, what would be the next best thing you could do?

How are you going to change what needs to be changed and accept what needs to be accepted? To get some support from me, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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"Is it bad to live without a hell?" poet Pablo Neruda asks in The Book of Questions. Let's add these queries to his: Is it dangerous to live without the awakening force that an enemy provides? Is it naive to think you can achieve great success without the driving motivation that comes from thinking about ideas you hate?

Consider the issue from another angle. Dentists love tooth decay. Treating cavities provides them with a steady income. Likewise, exterminators are dependent on termites, lawyers need crime, and priests crave sinners. Lots of people have symbiotic connections with nasty stuff. In fact, isn't it true that most of us nurture our feelings for the things we love to despise and fear?

What's your favorite poison or adversary? Assume that your exposure to pronoia is changing you in ways that will require you to update your relationship with it. Speculate on how you'll go about this task.

Is there one simple thing you could do to bring a bit more freedom into your life? An elegant rebellion against an oppressive circumstance? A compassionate breakaway from a poignant encumbrance? A flash of unpredictable behavior that would help you escape a puzzling compromise? I'm not talking about a huge, dramatic move that would completely sever you from all of your burdens and limitations. I'm imagining a small step you could take to get a taste of spaciousness and a hint of greater fluidity. That's your assignment in the coming week.

Sometimes it's a challenge to try to figure out what's important and what's not important. If you'd like more of my input, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Do you have a negative opinion of clouds? Are you inclined to regard them as symbols of gloom and malaise, interruptions in what you wish would always be clear blue sky?

If so, I'll ask you to revise your view. Consider the fact that in Chinese mythology, there are xiangyun, or "lucky clouds" that are harbingers of great blessings. Deities may even ride on them for pleasure. Among the Zuni Indians, the monster known as the Cloud Eater was feared because he devoured clouds that might bring replenishing rain. And modern meteorologists know that white, fluffy cumulus clouds are signs that fair weather is on the way.

Armed with these ideas, go out in search of your own personal lucky clouds.

There are 15,074 lakes in Wisconsin, but more than 9,000 of them have never been officially named. That's strange to me. In my view, everything is worthy of the love that is bestowed by giving it a name. I have named every tree and bush in my yard, as well as each egret that frequents the creek flowing by my house. I understand that at the Findhorn community in northern Scotland, people even give names to their cars and toasters and washing machines. According to researchers in the UK, cows that have names are happier: They produce more milk. Your assignment, Aquarius, is to name at least some of the unnamed things in your world. It's an excellent time to cultivate a closer, warmer personal relationship with absolutely everything.

How well is your imagination working these days? Could it use a boost? A prod? A jolt of inspiration? Try tuning in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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I give thanks for the dented rusty brown and gray 1967 Chevy 10 pick-up truck that my neighbor parks askew on the shoulder of the road near my house. Its messy beauty snaps me back to sanity when my own perfectionism threatens to de-soul me, or when all the shiny, sleek, polished things of the world are on the verge of hypnotizing me into believing that only they should be considered attractive.

Are there equivalent triggers in your life?

From 2010 to 2012, Eric Garcetti worked as an actor on the TV cop shows The Closer and its spin-off series Major Crimes. He played the mayor of Los Angeles. Then in 2013, he ran for the office of L.A.'s mayor in real life, and won. It was a spectacular example of Kurt Vonnegut's suggestion that we tend to become what we pretend to be. Your assignment Pisces, is to make good use of this principle. I invite you to experiment with pretending to be the person you would like to turn into.

Want more clues? Need further insight? For more evocative questions and pithy suggestions about your unfolding destiny, check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Some people feel polluted when they look at porn; others when they eat Pringles and Twinkies. Personally, I experience a sense of violation after being exposed to celebrity gossip. And yet, if I've learned anything about how to maintain a healthy relationship with purity, it's that a fanatical adherence to it is as dangerous as a compulsive rejection of it. This will be especially true for you as you practice the art of pronoia. I urge you, therefore, to rebel cagily now and then against your urge to be a perfectly nice perpetrator of goodness and beauty and truth and justice.

Here's one method that might work: Use sacred sarcasm to motivate your allies to cooperate more with life's benevolent conspiracy. For instance, you might say the following to a certain female friend, hoping it will prod her to swear off self-punishing behavior forever: "You sure honored your ancestors and left an inspiring legacy for your descendants during the month you spent courting that alcoholic womanizer."

Or say something like this to a person who has not been asking for enough in return for her gifts: "No doubt you impressed the gods and earned a heap of karmic credit for all the free work you gave away to that megalomaniac who ripped you off so brilliantly."