Imagine a scenario like this: The CEOs of five crazily rich U.S. corporations, including a major defense contractor, stage a press conference to announce that in the future they will turn down the massive welfare benefits and tax breaks the federal government has been doling out to them all these years. Now picture this: The Pope issues a statement declaring that since Jesus Christ never had a single bad word to say about homosexuals, the Catholic Church is withdrawing its resistance to gay rights. I am envisioning a comparable reversal in your life, Capricorn -- a flip-flop that seems equally improbable. But unlike the two I named, yours will actually unfold in the course of the next eight months. If it hasn't already started yet, it will soon.

How much do you want to know about your life? How far do you dare to go in your quest for self-mastery? For more insight into your intriguing fate, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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In her role as DJ Debi Newberry in the film Grosse Pointe Blank, Minnie Driver defines the term shakabuku as a swift spiritual kick to the head that alters your reality forever. That's the kind of jolt you're more likely to get if you've been avoiding the entreaties of your shadow.

But if you send your shadow flowers on special occasions, or periodically give it license to blubber its horrible secrets while sobbing on your lap, it might be more inclined to deliver a whoopibuku, which is a soft spiritual stomp on the toes that inspires you to make a course correction.