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Horoscopes by Rob Brezsny


Week of August 29th, 2013

♍ VIRGO

(August 23-September 22)
"A beginning is the time for taking the most delicate care that the balances are correct," wrote science fiction author Frank Herbert. I urge you to heed that advice. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, you will oversee the germination of several new trends in the coming weeks. Future possibilities will reveal themselves to you. You will be motivated to gather the ingredients and formulate the plans to make sure that those trends and possibilities will actually happen. One of the most critical tasks you can focus on is to ensure that the balances are righteous right from the start.


I hope the oracle above provides you with the inspiration you need to do what you've got to do and change what needs to be changed. But if you need more clues, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE, where I go further in exploring your mysteries.

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Change yourself in the way you want everyone else to change
Love your enemies in case your friends turn out to be jerks
Avoid thinking about winning the lottery while making love
Brainwash yourself before someone nasty beats you to it
Confess big secrets to people who aren't very interested
Write a love letter to your evil twin during a lunar eclipse
Fool the tricky red beasts guarding the Wheels of Time
Locate the master codex and add erudite graffiti to it
Dream up wilder, wetter, more interesting problems
Change your name every day for a thousand days
Kill the apocalypse and annihilate Armageddon
Exaggerate your flaws till they turn into virtues
Brag about what you can't do and don't have
Get a vanity license plate that reads KZMYAZ
Bow down to the greatest mystery you know
Make fun of people who make fun of people
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.