Select a date (required) and sign (optional) 


Horoscopes by Rob Brezsny


Week of April 25th, 2013

♈ ARIES

(March 21-April 19)
How we react to the sound of the wind gives clues to our temperament, said philosopher Theodor W. Adorno. The unhappy person thinks of "the fragility of his house and suffers from shallow sleep and violent dreams." But for the happy person, the wind sings "the song of protectedness: its furious howling concedes that it has power over him no longer." I bring this up to illustrate a point about your life. There will be a strong and vivid influence coming your way that is like the wind as described by Adorno. It's neither bad nor good in itself, but may seem like one or the other depending on the state of mind you choose to cultivate.


How are you going to change what needs to be changed and accept what needs to be accepted? To get some support from me, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
When you come home after a day of triumphs, take out the garbage. Dream you're a red-tailed hawk soaring over a shopping mall. Forgive yourself for the blindness that put you in the path of those who betrayed you.
*
The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♉ TAURUS

(April 20-May 20)
In 1921, Russian composer Sergei Prokofiev -- born under the sign of the Bull -- premiered his opera The Love for Three Oranges in the United States. Here's how *The New York Times* felt about it: "There are a few, but only a very few, passages that bear recognizable kinship with what has hitherto been considered music." It's possible, Taurus, that you will get a similar reaction when you debut your new approach or endeavor. And that may disturb you. But I think it would be a good omen -- a sign that you're taking a brave risk as you try something innovative and unfamiliar.


Sometimes it's a challenge to try to figure out what's important and what's not important. If you'd like more of my input, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
Visualize two versions of yourself, one male and one female, holding hands as they gaze into a reflection of the moon on a river. Keep an image of a sphinx with you at all times. Imagine you have a guardian angel who looks like Oprah Winfrey.
*
The preceding oracle comes from my new book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♊ GEMINI

(May 21-June 20)
I'm passionate about doing whatever I can to make the world a better place. How boring and sad it would be if I only thought of satisfying my personal needs. But I also remember what Aldous Huxley said: "There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self." Even if you have mad skills at healing and fixing everyone whose life you touch, Gemini, Huxley's reminder is good for you to honor right now. The place that's in most pressing need of transmutation -- and where you're most likely to be successful -- is within you. Now here's the trick ending: To the degree that you regenerate yourself, you will improve everyone around you. Your inner work will be contagious.


How well is your imagination working these days? Could it use a boost? A prod? A jolt of inspiration? Try tuning in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
Review in painstaking detail the history of your life, honoring every moment as if you were conducting a benevolent Judgment Day. Forgive yourself of every mistake except one.
*
The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♋ CANCERIAN

(June 21-July 22)
Thomas Jefferson almost pulled off a miracle in 1784. America was a young country. There were only 13 states and a few unorganized territories. As a representative to the Continental Congress, Jefferson proposed an ordinance that would have prohibited slavery in those territories, including what would later become Tennessee, Mississippi, and Alabama. By just one vote, alas, the provision failed to pass. Can you imagine what the United States would have been like if slavery had been partly extinguished decades before the Civil War? The moral of the story, Cancerian, is that at certain pregnant moments, small shifts can have big consequences. The astrological omens suggest your life will be proof of that in the coming weeks.


Want more clues? Need further insight? For more evocative questions and pithy suggestions about your unfolding destiny, check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
Create a royal crown for yourself out of a shower cap, rubber bands, and light bulbs. Think of the last place on Earth you'd ever want to visit, and visualize yourself having fun there. Say these words and see how they feel: "Ever since I learned to see three sides to every story, I'm finding much better stories."
*
The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♌ LEO

(July 23-August 22)
I believe you will crawl or scramble or glide to the top of some mountain in the next four weeks. What mountain do you want it to be? A crumbly molehill? A pile of cheap but useful gravel? A lofty peak where you can see for miles and miles? I urge you to decide soon on which of the possibilities you will choose. Then affirm your intention to call on all your resources, allies, and powers to help you make the ascent. This is a chance for serious expansion, Leo. Unleash your soulful ambitions.


How much do you want to know about your life? How far do you dare to go in your quest for self-mastery? For more insight into your intriguing fate, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
Exaggerate your flaws till they turn into virtues. Dream up wilder, wetter, more interesting problems. Change your name every day for a thousand days.
*
The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♍ VIRGO

(August 23-September 22)
Have you ever seen a moonbow? It's like a rainbow but is created by the reflected light of the moon instead of the sun. For this phenomenon to occur, the sky must be dark. The moon has to be full and setting in the west, near the horizon, and rain must be falling. So it's a rare event. All the conditions have to be just right. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, it's more likely than usual that you'll spot one of these exceptional beauties in the coming days. Your affinity for curious wonders and mysterious marvels of all kinds will be at a peak. I suspect you will have a knack for being exactly where you need to be in order to experience them.


Would you like to hear more about the hidden factors influencing your life? Do you want to uncover the secrets you've been hiding even from yourself? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
"God offers to every mind its choice between truth and repose," wrote Ralph Waldo Emerson. "Take which you please; you can never have both." Give an example from your own life that refutes or proves Emerson's assertion.
*
The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♎ LIBRA

(September 23-October 22)
Lonesome George was about a hundred years old when he died last year. He was the last remaining member of a giant tortoise species that had lived on Ecuador's Pinta Island for thousands of years. But scientists say his kind is not necessarily extinct forever. They believe that by cross-breeding tortoises of other related species, they could recreate a 100-percent-pure version of Lonesome George's species. I suspect, Libra, that you may be able to pull off a metaphorically comparable resurrection -- especially if you initiate the effort in the coming weeks.


Do you wish you could get more clarity about the foggy, ambiguous situations you're dealing with? Want more help in exploring the Great Mystery that is your life? I discuss your coming week in greater depth in your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
Brag about what you can't do and don't have. Bow down to the greatest mystery you know. Scare yourself with how beautiful you are.
*
The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♏ SCORPIO

(October 23-November 21)
Let's imagine ourselves near the snowy summit of Washington's Mount Rainier. We're in an unusual kind of cave. Volcanic steam rises from cracks in the rocky floor. Above us is a roof made of ice. As we stand between the heat and the chill, we find the temperature quite cozy. The extremes collaborate to produce a happy medium. Can you accomplish something in your life that's similar to what's going on in this cave? Metaphorically, I mean? I think you can.


Do you want further explorations of the intriguing twists and turns of your personal evolution? Would you like help in solving the riddles that confuse you? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
Pretend your wounds are exotic tattoos. Sip the tears of someone you love. Rebel against your horoscope. Play games with no rules. Mock your fears.
*
The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♐ SAGITTARIUS

(November 22-December 21)
We cannot accept the world as it is," remarked Belgian author Hugo Claus. "Each day we should wake up foaming at the mouth from the injustice of things." I don't subscribe to the idea that each day should begin like this. On some mornings we should rise and greet the world singing songs of praise for the great fortune of being alive. But I do think Claus's approach is precisely right on certain occasions -- like now, for you Sagittarians. The time is ripe to tap into your reservoir of righteous anger. Fight to right the wrongs that disturb you the most.


Need more help in figuring out the questions life is asking you? Crave more support in your efforts to build your courage? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
Teach an animal to dance. Hire a puppet troupe to reenact your life story using marionettes in Renaissance costumes. Make believe you are the ocean king or thunder queen.
*
The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♑ CAPRICORN

(December 22-January 19)
"Your story begins the moment Eros enters you," says Anne Carson in her book Eros the Bittersweet. "That incursion is the biggest risk of your life. How you handle it is an index of the quality, wisdom and decorum of the things inside of you. As you handle it you come into contact with what is inside of you, in a sudden and startling way. You perceive what you are, what you lack, what you could be." I want to extend Carson's dramatic hypothesis. I'd like to propose that eros enters you again and again in the course of your life, and your story resets each time. How will you handle it when it makes its next incursion? Get ready, because here it comes.


What fresh blessings will life bring you? What questions should you be asking? To explore the ripening trends further, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
Improvise a fresh bedtime story for someone you love. Put on an inflatable sumo wrestler costume and play a bagpipe as badly as possible. Watch TV with your third eye.
*
The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♒ AQUARIUS

(January 20- February 18)
"I prefer by far warmth and softness to mere brilliancy and coldness," wrote Anais Nin in one of her early diaries. "Some people remind me of sharp dazzling diamonds. Valuable but lifeless and loveless. Others, of the simplest field flowers, with hearts full of dew and with all the tints of celestial beauty reflected in their modest petals." I suspect that even if you normally love cold brilliancy, Aquarius, you will need an abundance of warmth and softness in the coming days. To attract the best possible embodiments of this influence, get clear about your favorite forms of it. Be picky! Don't accept sloppy sentimentality.


Want to explore this chapter of your life story even further? Dig deeper? Push harder? Consider tuning in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
Plant orchids on a strip-mined hill. Sip holy water blessed by a smart teenage girl. Bear in mind that you are the Chosen One, and so is everyone else.
*
The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♓ PISCES

(February 19-March 20)
Ludwig Wittgenstein was a genius. His last book, which influenced many different fields of thought, is regarded as one of the most important philosophy tomes of the 20th century. And yet he was a big fan of foolishness. "If people did not sometimes do silly things," he observed, "nothing intelligent would ever get done." Another time he said, "Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness, but come down into the green valleys of silliness." Here's one more of his opinions: "Don't be afraid of talking nonsense! But you must pay attention to your nonsense." I hope that's enough evidence to support my advice, Pisces, which is: Now is a good time for you to get both smarter and wiser. And a good way to do that is to play and play and play some more.


You're got more strength and intelligence than you realize. For help in accessing those untapped inner resources, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
Thank your mother for the pain she endured while birthing you. For three minutes on the first Friday of every month, close your eyes and imagine yourself riding a wild horse through a cemetery. Fantasize that your so-called "dark side" is sweet and creamy.
*
The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.


Listen to Rob's Expanded Audio Horoscopes, updated weekly.



GET HOROSCOPES IN YOUR INBOX!

By signing up you are agreeing to our terms of use and privacy policy

unsubscribe or manage subscription