When I lived in Santa Cruz years ago, some of my published writings were illustrated by a local cartoonist named Karl Vidstrand. His work was funny, outrageous, and often offensive in the most entertaining ways. Eventually he wandered away from our colorful, creative community and moved to a small town at the edge of California's Mojave Desert, near where the Space Shuttles landed. He liked living at the fringes of space, he told journalist R. D. Pickle. It gave him the sense of "being out of bounds at all times." I suggest you adopt some of the Vidstrand spirit in the next three weeks, Cancerian. Being on the fringes and out of bounds are exactly where you belong.

When they say "Be yourself," which self do they mean? Certainly not the self that wants to win every game and use up every resource and stand alone at the end of time on a mountain of pretty garbage. So which self is it? For guidance, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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See how far you can spit a mouthful of beer
Pick blackberries naked in the pouring rain
Scare yourself with how beautiful you are
Stage a slow-motion water balloon fight
Pretend your wounds are exotic tattoos
Sing anarchist lullabies to lesbian trees
Plunge butcher knives into accordions
Commit a crime that breaks no laws
Sip the tears of someone you love
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.