The Old Testament tells the story of a man named Methuselah, who supposedly didn't die until he was 969 years old. Some Kabbalistic commentators suggest that he didn't literally walk the earth for almost ten centuries. Rather, he was extra skilled at the arts of living. His experiences were profoundly rich. He packed 969 years' worth of meaningful adventures into a normal life span. I prefer that interpretation, and I'd like to invoke it as I assess your future. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, Taurus, you will have Methuselah's talent in the coming weeks.

It's not too late to hear my long-range, in-depth explorations of your destiny in 2013. What new influences will be headed your way in the coming months? Each report in the three-part series of EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES is 7 to 9 minutes long. A new short-term forecast for this week is also available. Get help as you fine-tune your life to be in closer and closer alignment with your soul's code! Sign in to access the 'scopes here.

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In the Greek epic The Odyssey, Odysseus and his men become stranded on an island belonging to the sorceress Circe, who uses her magic to transform the men into pigs. Later, though, she changes them back into men -- only they're younger and taller and better-looking than before they were pigs.

Tell an analogous story from your own life: an experience in which you were turned into a pig for a while, and became a more robust version of yourself when the spell was broken.
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The preceding oracle comes from my new book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.