Jackalopes resemble jackrabbits, except that they have antlers like deer and tails like pheasants. They love whiskey, only have sex during storms, and can mimic most sounds, even the human voice. The milk of the female has curative properties. Strictly speaking, however, the jackalope doesn't actually exist. It's a legendary beast, like the mermaid and unicorn. And yet Wyoming lawmakers have decided to honor it. Early this year they began the process of making it the state's official mythical creature. I bring this to your attention, Cancerian, because now would be an excellent time to select your own official mythical creature. The evocative presence of this fantastic fantasy would inspire your imagination to work more freely and playfully, which is just what you need. What'll it be? Dragon? Sphinx? Phoenix? Here's a list.

It's not too late to hear my long-range, in-depth explorations of your destiny in 2013. What new influences will be headed your way in the coming months? Each report in the three-part series of EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES is 7 to 9 minutes long. A new short-term forecast for this week is also available. Get help as you fine-tune your life to be in closer and closer alignment with your soul's code! Sign in to access the 'scopes here.

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In an article about storytellers in the Los Angeles Times, Leslie Berger profiled a high school teacher named Luigi Jannuzzi. "He once saved the life of a student who was choking on a Life Saver," Berger wrote, "and thus discovered his own gift of gab: He told the kid a joke so funny that his laughter popped the candy out of his throat."

Make up a story in which your sense of humor saves someone's life.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.