Can you manage to be both highly alert and deeply relaxed? Could you be wildly curious and yet also serenely reflective? Can you imagine yourself being extra hungry to crack life's secrets but also at peace with your destiny exactly the way it is? If you can honestly answer yes to those questions, you'll get a lot of help in the coming week. The universe may even seem to be conspiring to educate you and heal you. You will receive a steady flow of clues about how to get closer to living your dreams.

Want more clues? Need further insight? For more evocative questions and pithy suggestions about your unfolding destiny, check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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"You may enjoy this movie if you shut down enough brain cells. I turned off all except the ones needed to remember where I parked my car." This observation comes from a critic's evaluation of Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle, but I've read similar comments in many reviews of other films and entertainment. Indeed, it's an approach that many intelligent people employ routinely in response to the shiny slop our culture offers up.

What about you? Do you assume you have to make yourself dumber in order to have fun? Has the well-crafted inanity of the world caused you to shut down your sensitivity? Work to reverse this trend. You'll receive help from unexpected sources if you do.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

In the coming week, you would be wise to deal with your vulnerability, your fallibility, and your own personal share of the world's darkness. If you refuse to do that, either out of laziness or fear, I'm worried that you will reinforce a status quo that needs to be overthrown. You may end up rationalizing your mistakes, clinging to false pride, and running away from challenges that could make you smarter and stronger. Don't do that, Taurus! Be brave. Be willing to see what's difficult to see. There will be big rewards if you choose to explore the weaker and less mature parts of your personality.

How much do you want to know about your life? How far do you dare to go in your quest for self-mastery? For more insight into your intriguing fate, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Send out a big "Hey!" and "What's up?" to all the little voices in your head. Start with the still, small voice that's always ready to provide concise responses to the ingenious questions you come up with. But also acknowledge the others as well—even the crabby, reactive naysayer that's forever on the lookout for insults to your dignity, however tiny or unintentional; even the worrywart that wakes you up in the middle of the night to pester you with doubts and fears.

Love all the little voices in your head. Celebrate their vitality, their persistence, their attentiveness. Consider the possibility that you're lucky to have such a zealous group of advisors, even if all but one of them are off the mark a lot of the time.
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The preceding oracle comes from my new book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

In the 1968 Olympics, Bob Beamon broke the world record for the long jump. His leap was so far beyond the previous mark that the optical device designed to calculate it didn't work. Officials had to resort to an old-fashioned measuring tape. After that, the word "Beamonesque" came to signify a feat that vastly outstripped all previous efforts. According to my analysis, you Geminis will have an excellent chance to be Beamonesque in 2013. I expect that you will at least surpass your own peak levels of accomplishment. If you have not yet launched your ascent, get started now.

Would you like to hear more about the hidden factors influencing your life? Do you want to uncover the secrets you've been hiding even from yourself? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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There is a proverb from the American culture of the 21st century that I'd like to run by you: "Never reveal all you know, confess everything you feel, show how much you care, or give all you have."

Prove this proverb wrong. Cultivate power by revealing all you know, confessing everything you feel, showing how much you care, and giving all you have.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

The fire ants that invaded the southern U.S. back in the 1930s are an annoyance. They swarm and bite and sting. The venom they inject makes their victims feel like they've been burned. Two communities have decided to make the best of the situation. Auburn, Georgia and Marshall, Texas both stage annual Fire Ant Festivals, with events like the Fire Ant Call, the Fire Ant Round-Up, and the Fire Ant Chili Cook-Off. (To win the latter, your dish must contain at least one fire ant.) Maybe their example could inspire you, Cancerian. Is there any pest you could develop a more playful and festive relationship with? Could you possibly turn into the equivalent of a Fire Ant Whisperer?

Do you wish you could get more clarity about the foggy, ambiguous situations you're dealing with? Want more help in exploring the Great Mystery that is your life? I discuss your coming week in greater depth in your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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If you're a left-winger, you may think right-wingers are stupid or evil or both. If you're a right-winger, you probably hold the same attitudes about left-wingers. A similar pattern prevails between most other groups that hold opposing views. You're a rare person if you've never looked at a certain group of people and thought to yourself, "They are all sick idiots."

But I'm asking you to find out what it's like to dispense with judgments like that. In fact, try living without any scapegoats whatsoever. If even for an hour per week, visualize the possibility that those with whom you disagree might be sincere and well meaning.

I'm not suggesting this exercise merely because it's a nice thing to do. It will also have the effect of giving you access to parts of your own intelligence that have been closed off to you.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

While reading William Kittredge's book The Nature of Generosity, I learned about the oldest known sentence written in ancient Greek. It was inscribed on a wine jug that dates back to 740 B.C. Translated into English, it says, "Who now of all dancers sports most playfully?" Another possible translation is "Which of these dancers plays most delicately?" I'd love to make something like that be your mantra in the coming week, Leo. The time is right for you to do more dancing and playing and sporting than usual -- and to seek out companions who'd like to help you achieve record-breaking levels of those recreational activities.

Do you want further explorations of the intriguing twists and turns of your personal evolution? Would you like help in solving the riddles that confuse you? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Oceans are not exactly teeming with life. In fact, they're mostly barren, and could rightly be called "wet deserts." Likewise, not all your emotions, even those that come in floods, are fertile. Some are automatic reactions that have discharged thousands of times since they were first programmed into you many years ago. They're often negative, and are not organic but mechanical, being inappropriate to the events that seem to stimulate them. They became fixtures when you were a very different person than you are now. Identify these.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

In the movie Groundhog Day, Bill Murray plays a man who gets trapped in a timeloop. Over and over again, he experiences the same 24 hours. When he wakes up each morning, it's still February 2. At first it drives him crazy, pushing him to the verge of suicide. But eventually he decides to use his time wisely. He becomes a skilled pianist and a fluent French-speaker. He does good deeds and saves people's lives. He even learns what he needs to do to win the heart of the woman he desires. This transformation turns out to be the key to gaining his freedom. Near the end of the film, he escapes to February 3. A comparable opportunity is looming for you, Virgo. You have a chance to break a spell you've been under or slip away from a rut you've been in. Generosity may play a major role.

Need more help in figuring out the questions life is asking you? Crave more support in your efforts to build your courage? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Many of us don't always know what we feel. We may have a vivid sense that we feel something, but we're not sure what it is. That's why musicians, writers, actors, and other creative people play such a crucial role in our emotional lives. Their work can help us articulate the enigmas fermenting within us.

But here's the problem: A majority of the artists who are easiest for us to find aren't exceptionally smart or original; they specialize in expressing hackneyed feelings. Many of the very best creators "remain in relative obscurity because of their resistance to formula efforts," writes journalist Alan Cabal. "Mediocrities latch onto whatever hits and repeat it endlessly in pursuit of cash or celebrity or both." If we look to the latter for illumination, we're cheated.

Your assignments: Get tough with the lazy or wounded part of you that is drawn to the mediocrities. Compile a roster of virtuosos who have developed a high level of proficiency in extracting esthetically exciting meaning from the fascinating chaos around us. Expose yourself exclusively to their work, devotedly avoiding the mediocrities' stuff, for a given period, say 100 days. Describe how this transforms you.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

Events in the immediate future may have resemblances to reading a boring book that's packed with highly useful information. You might feel that there's a disjunction between the critical clues you need to gather and the ho-hum style in which they are offered. It's OK to be a bit disgruntled by this problem as long as you promise to remain alert for the partially disguised goodies. Don't fall asleep in the middle of the unspectacular lesson.

What fresh blessings will life bring you? What questions should you be asking? To explore the ripening trends further, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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The bumper sticker I saw said, "Having abandoned my search for the truth, I'm now looking for a good fantasy." Though it's meant to be sarcastic, it's a useful piece of advice.

Consider this hypothesis: The truth is so complicated and ever-shifting that it's impossible to pin down. Why try to understand the nature of reality when it's more productive and interesting to aggressively create the nature of reality? Why be preoccupied with conjuring up concepts to approximate the structure of the universe when the point is that we change everything we observe merely by looking at it?

As another bumper sticker says, "Life isn't about finding yourself. It's about creating yourself."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

"Instinct tells us that sharks are more deadly than delicious fatty foods," writes Jason Daley in Discover magazine. But "instinct is wrong," he adds. In fact, eating food that tastes good but is actually bad for us is a far greater threat than shark bites. That's just one example of how our uneducated urges can sometimes lead us astray. I invite you to keep this possibility in mind during the coming week, Scorpio. It's by no means certain that you will be misled by your natural inclinations, but it is crucial that you monitor them with acute discernment.

Want to explore this chapter of your life story even further? Dig deeper? Push harder? Consider tuning in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES.

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"The reality of love is mutilated when it is removed from all its unreality." So said the French philosopher Gaston Bachelard in his book The Poetics of Reverie.

He meant that realism alone is not enough for human beings to live on, especially in our most intimate relationships. We need fantasy to augment the merely factual perspective. We require poetic truths to keep the rational approach honest.

Without the play of the imagination, in fact, our understanding of the world is impoverished and ­distorted.

(P.S. Nietzsche said: "We have art in order not to perish of truth.")
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

For the last six decades of his life, Pablo Picasso created art that was adventurous and experimental. He didn't invent abstract painting, but he was instrumental in popularizing it. And yet in his early years he was a master of realism, and had an impressive ability to capture the nuances of human anatomy. Commenting on Picasso's evolution, travel writer Rick Steves says that when he was young, "he learned the rules he would later so skillfully break." I suspect you're in a phase of your own development when you could profit from doing the same thing. So I ask you, Sagittarius: What are the rules that are so ripe for you to bend and twist as you graduate to a more mature level of self-expression?

You're got more strength and intelligence than you realize. For help in accessing those untapped inner resources, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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When I lived in Santa Cruz, I had an acquaintance named Barnaby who lived at a remote rural community called Last Chance Farm. Combination shaman, wise elder, and lunatic, he would on rare occasions slip into town and lead me on fact-finding missions he dubbed whirlygigs. "Steep yourself with the intention of attracting lessons you don't know you need," he'd say, and then we'd meander the streets at random, going places I'd never been and striking up conversations with strangers with whom I seemingly had nothing in common. Barnaby described the whirlygig as an urban version of the walkabout, which for Aborigines is a time when they leave work and wander out into the bush to commune with the mysteries of nature.

Carry out your own whirlygig. When you're done, write an essay entitled, "People, Places, and Things I Didn't Know I Loved."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

Through some cosmic intervention, a sad or bad or mad story will get tweaked prior to the final turn of the plot. Just as you're getting ready to nurse your regrets, an X-factor or wild card will appear, transforming the meaning of a series of puzzling events. This may not generate a perfectly happy ending, but it will at least result in an interesting and redemptive climax. What is the precise nature of that X-factor or wild card? Perhaps a big secret will be revealed or some missing evidence will arrive or a mental block will crumble. And it's likely that you will have an epiphany about how valuable your problem has actually been.

How are you going to change what needs to be changed and accept what needs to be accepted? To get some support from me, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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intimate contact with spirit. We all need a daily dose of vastness. Paradoxically, many of us would also benefit from more microscopic vision. Because we're so deprived of divine connection, we're half-dreaming all the time; our unconscious pining for the eternal source distracts us from the vivid little glories that are splayed out around us. And so we miss the Divine Wow from both directions.

Try this: Prime your connection with spirit by focusing your attention on tones and shapes you usually miss: reflections in windows, the sky between the oak tree's branches, the shadows on the water, the two different emotions in a friend's eyes and mouth.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

Be honest. Have you had any of the following symptoms? 1. Lack of interest in trivial matters and a yearning for big, holy mysteries. 2. Unfamiliar but interesting impulses rising up in you and demanding consideration. 3. Fresh insights into people and situations you've known a long time. 4. An altered sense of the flow of time. 5. Out-of-the-blue recall of long-forgotten memories. If you haven't experienced any of the above, Aquarius, I must be totally off in my analysis and this horoscope isn't for you. But if you've had even two of these symptoms, you are on schedule to get what those of us in the consciousness industry call a "religious experience."

Sometimes it's a challenge to try to figure out what's important and what's not important. If you'd like more of my input, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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The German religious reformer Martin Luther was fond of referring to the faculty of reason as a "damned whore." He believed it gave itself in service to any old theory, often propping up specious arguments rooted in hidden emotional agendas.

Though I regard my ability to reason as a prized asset, I confess to having some of Luther's mistrust. Like most of us, I have corrupted my logical mind by sometimes using it to disguise and rationalize my subjective biases.

Can you imagine having so much self-awareness that you never turn your reasoning ability into a whore? Are you willing to probe with merciless honesty for the unconscious feelings that drive you to believe what you do, and to analyze the ways you mask your subjective biases as "objective fact"? Could you suspend all your preconceptions and greet every situation with a scrupulously open mind? Try to live up to that high standard for a period of three days.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

You just might be able to teach a statue to talk this week -- or at least coax a useful message out of a stone-like person. You could also probably extract a delicious clue from out of the darkness or wrangle a tricky blessing from an adversary or find a small treasure hidden in a big mess. In short, Pisces, you now have a knack for accessing beauty and truth in unexpected sources. You can see what everyone else is blind to and love what everyone else has given up on. You're practically a superhero. Use your powers wisely, my friend. Be benevolently unpredictable.

How well is your imagination working these days? Could it use a boost? A prod? A jolt of inspiration? Try tuning in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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To the ancient Chinese, pigs were sacred because they could eat anything and turn it into energy. The creatures were regarded as masters of transmutation. Nothing, not even garbage, was unusable to them. The Chinese aspired to be like pigs in the sense of being able to learn from and derive benefit from every experience, not just the tidy, tasteful ones.

Borrowing this strategy, name two garbage-like experiences that you could turn into fuel for your growing urge to be a pronoiac co-conspirator.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.