[WARNING: The following horoscope contains more than the usual dose of poetry.] Mirthful agitation! Surprising deliverance! I predict you will expose the effects of the smoke and mirrors, then find your way out of the labyrinth. Lucid irrationality! Deathless visions! I predict you will discover a secret you'd been hiding from yourself, then escape a dilemma you no longer need to struggle with. Mysterious blessings arriving from the frontiers! Refreshed fertility roused by a reborn dream! I predict you will begin to prepare a new power spot for your future use.

When they say "Be yourself," which self do they mean? Certainly not the self that wants to win every game and use up every resource and stand alone at the end of time on a mountain of pretty garbage. So which self is it? For guidance, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Plant orchids on a strip-mined hill. Sip holy water blessed by a smart teenage girl. Bear in mind that you are the Chosen One, and so is everyone else.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.