In the coming weeks, I'm afraid there's only a very small chance that you'll be able to turn invisible at will, shapeshift into an animal form and back, or swipe the nectar of immortality from the gods. The odds of success are much higher, though, if you will attempt less ambitious tasks that are still pretty frisky and brazen. For example, you could germinate a potential masterpiece where nothing has ever grown. You could legally steal from the rich and give the spoils to the poor. And you could magically transform a long-stuck process that no one thought would ever get unstuck.

Here's a gathering of all the Big-Picture horoscopes I've written for you this year. Check to see if they're relevant to the way your destiny has been evolving. You can also still hear a LONG-RANGE AUDIO PREVIEW for the REST of 2012 and beyond. Sign up and/or log in here, then click on "Long-Term Forecast for Second Half of 2012." If you'd just like a report for the short-term, click on "This week (July 24, 2012)."

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Meditation teacher Wes Nisker helps students learn to calm the frenetic chatter of their minds. As earnest as he is in this heroic work, though, he also appreciates the importance of not trying too hard. As you pursue your pronoia practice, call on his influence now and then. It'll keep you honest and prevent your anal sphincter from getting too high-strung.

Here's a blurb for one of his workshops. "This day will be of absolutely no use to you. Nothing will be furthered or accomplished by coming. Expect a time of effortlessness, relaxation, and poetry, hanging out, maybe a little mindfulness meditation -- all for nothing. Some might understand this as a protest against our culture's speedy, goal-driven nature, but we know it won't amount to a hill of beans. Good intentions and purposefulness must be checked at the door."
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The preceding oracle comes from my new book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.