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Horoscopes by Rob Brezsny


Week of May 24th, 2012

♈ ARIES

(March 21-April 19)
"My soul is a fire that suffers if it doesn't burn," said Jean Prevost, a writer and hero of the French Resistance during World War II. "I need three or four cubic feet of new ideas every day, as a steamboat needs coal." Your soul may not be quite as blazing as his, Aries, and you may normally be able to get along fine with just a few cubic inches of new ideas per day. But I expect that in the next three to four weeks, you will both need and yearn to generate Prevost-type levels of heat and light. Please make sure you're getting a steady supply of the necessary fuel.


All of creation loves you very much. Even now, people you know and people you don't know are collaborating to make sure you have all you need to make your next smart move. But are you willing to start loving life back with an equal intensity? The adoration it offers you has not exactly been unrequited, but there is room for you to be more demonstrative. For help in cultivating this approach, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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In Homer's epic tale, The Odyssey, he described nepenthe, a mythical drug that induced the forgetfulness of pain and trouble. Modern culture has turned the myth into reality: There are now many stimuli serving that purpose.

If Homer were alive today, we wonder if he'd write about a potion that stirs up memories of delight, serenity, and fulfillment? Imagine that you have taken such a tonic. Spend an hour or two remembering the glorious moments from your past.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♉ TAURUS

(April 20-May 20)
Here's a great question to pose on a regular basis during the next three weeks: "What's the best use of my time right now?" Whenever you ask, be sure to answer with an open mind. Don't assume that the correct response is always, "working with white-hot intensity on churning out the masterpiece that will fulfill my dreams and cement my legacy." On some occasions, the best use of your time may be doing the laundry or sitting quietly and doing nothing more than watching the world go by. Here's a reminder from philosopher Jonathan Zap: "Meaning and purpose are not merely to be found in the glamorous, dramatic moments of life."


What is the obvious secret you can't quite see? How could you turn your challenges into daily gifts for yourself? For clues to mysteries like these, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Like all of us, you have desires for things that you don't really need and aren't good for you. But you shouldn't disparage yourself for having them, nor should you conclude that every desire is tainted. Rather, think of your misguided longings as the bumbling, amateur expressions of a faculty that will one day be far more expert. They're how you practice as you work toward the goal of becoming a master of desire. It may take a while, but eventually you will get the hang of wanting things that are really good for you, and good for everyone else, too.
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The preceding oracle comes from my new book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♊ GEMINI

(May 21-June 20)
"Sometimes I think and other times I am," said French poet Paul Valery. Most of us could say the same thing. From what I can tell, Gemini, you are now entering an intensely "I am" phase of your long-term cycle -- a time when it will be more important for you to exclaim "woohoo!" than to mutter "hmmm;" a time to tune in extra strong to the nonverbal wisdom of your body and to the sudden flashes of your intuition; a time when you'll generate more good fortune by getting gleefully lost in the curious mystery of the moment than by sitting back and trying to figure out what it all means.


Grace emerges in the ebb and flow, not just the flow. The waning reveals a different blessing than the waxing. Where are you in the great cycle of your life? For inspiration in figuring it all out, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Many people believe that happiness is a rare commodity attainable only through dumb luck. "One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness," said novelist Willa Cather. "One only stumbles upon them by chance, in a lucky hour, at the world's end somewhere." I disagree. My perspective is the same as the Buddhist researchers Rick Foster and Greg Hicks. In their book How We Choose to Be Happy: The 9 Choices of Extremely Happy People, they reveal that the number one trait of happy people is a serious determination to be happy. Bliss is a habit you can cultivate, in other words, not an accident that you stumble upon by chance, in a lucky hour, at the world's end somewhere.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♋ CANCERIAN

(June 21-July 22)
Don't pretend you can't see the darkness. Admit to its presence. Accept its reality. And then, dear Cancerian, walk nonchalantly away from it, refusing to fight it or be afraid of it. In other words, face up to the difficulty without becoming all tangled up in it. Gaze into the abyss so as to educate yourself about its nature, but don't get stuck there or become entranced by its supposedly hypnotic power. I think you'll be amazed at how much safety and security you can generate for yourself simply by being an objective, poised observer free of melodramatic reactions.


Whether it's your time to ferment in the shadows or sing in the sun, fresh power to transform yourself is on the way. Life always delivers the creative energy you need to change into the new thing you must become. For more help in understanding it all, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Robin Norwood's self-help book Women Who Love Too Much deals with a theme that has gotten a lot of play in recent decades: If you're too generous to someone who doesn't appreciate it and at the expense of your own needs, you can make yourself sick.

An alternative perspective comes from Blaise Pascal, who said, "When one does not love too much, one does not love enough." He was primarily addressing psychologically healthy altruists, but it's a good ideal for pronoia lovers to keep in mind.

Decide whether you need to move more in the direction of Norwood's or Pascal's advice. Develop a game plan to carry out your resolve, then take action.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♌ LEO

(July 23-August 22)
It's OK with me if you want to keep the lion as your symbolic animal, Leo. But I'd like to tell you why I'm proposing that you switch over to the tiger, at least for now. People who work with big cats say that lions tend to be obnoxious and grouchy, whereas tigers are more affable and easy to get along with. And I think that in the coming weeks it'll be important for you to be like the tiger. During this time, you will have an enhanced power to cultivate friendships and influence people. Networking opportunities will be excellent. Your web of connections should expand. By the way, even though lions are called kings of the jungle, tigers are generally bigger, more muscular, and better fighters.


You can learn to be lucky. It's not a mystical force you're born with, but a habit you can develop. How? For starters, be open to new experiences, trust your gut wisdom, expect good fortune, see the bright side of challenging events, and master the art of maximizing serendipitous opportunities. For more help, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Most people associate innocence with naivete. Conventional wisdom regards it as belonging to children and fools and rookies who lack the sophistication or experience to know the tough truths about life. But the Beauty and Truth Laboratory recognizes a different kind of innocence. It's based on an understanding that the world is always changing, and therefore deserves to be seen fresh every day. This alternative brand of innocence is fueled by an aggressive determination to empty one's imagination of all preconceptions.

"Ignorance is not knowing anything and being attracted to the good," wrote Clarissa Pinkola-Estes in Women Who Run With the Wolves. "Innocence is knowing everything and still being attracted to the good."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♍ VIRGO

(August 23-September 22)
In 1977, the first Apple computers were built in a garage that Steve Jobs' father provided for his son and Steve Wozniak to work in. (You can see a photo of the holy shrine here.) I suggest you think about setting up your own version of that magic place sometime soon: a basement, kitchen, garage, warehouse, or corner of your bedroom that will be the spot where you fine-tune your master plan for the coming years -- and maybe even where you begin working in earnest on a labor of love that will change everything for the better.


Somewhere there's a treasure that has no value to anyone but you, and a secret that's meaningless to everyone except you, and a frontier that harbors a revelation only you would know how to exploit. Why not go in search of those things? For inspiration, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Mirabilia is a word that refers to events that inspire wonder, marvelous phenomena, small miracles; it's from the Latin mirabilia, "marvels." Here's your mirabilia report for the coming week: The average river requires a million years to move a grain of sand 100 miles. Kind people are more likely than mean people to yawn when someone near them does. There are always so many fragments of spider legs floating in the air that you are constantly inhaling them wherever you go. Gregorian chants can cure dyslexia. Bob Hope donated half a million jokes to the Library of Congress. Bees perform a valuable service for the flowers from which they steal. The moon smells like exploded firecrackers. Physicists in Tennessee coaxed electric signals to travel through coaxial cable at four times the speed of light, even though the equipment they used was cheap stuff from Radio Shack. Revlon makes 177 different shades of lipstick.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♎ LIBRA

(September 23-October 22)
I have a head's up for you, Libra. Do your best to avoid getting enmeshed in any sort of "he said/she said" controversy. (Of course it could be a "he said/he said" or "she said/she said" or "trans said/intersex said" brouhaha, too -- you get the idea.) Gossip is not your friend in the week ahead. Trying to serve as a mediator is not your strong suit. Becoming embroiled in personal disputes is not your destiny. In my opinion, you should soar free of all the chatter and clatter. It's time for you to seek out big pictures and vast perspectives. Where you belong is meditating on a mountaintop, flying in your dreams, and charging up your psychic batteries in a sanctuary that's both soothing and thrilling.


When they say "Be yourself," which self do they mean? Certainly not the self that wants to win every game and use up every resource and stand alone at the end of time on a mountain of pretty garbage. So which self is it? For guidance, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Your imagination is the single most important asset you possess. It's your power to create mental pictures of things that don't exist yet and that you want to bring into being. It's the magic wand you use to shape your future.

And so in your own way, you are a prophet. You generate countless predictions every day. Your imagination is the source, tirelessly churning out images of what you will be doing later.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♏ SCORPIO

(October 23-November 21)
In some Australian aborigine cultures, a newborn infant gets two names from the tribal elders. The first is the name everybody knows. The second is sacred, and is kept secret. Even the child isn't told. Only when he or she comes of age and is initiated into adulthood is it revealed. I wish we had a tradition similar to this. It might be quite meaningful for you, because you're currently navigating your way through a rite of passage that would make you eligible to receive your sacred, secret name. I suggest we begin a new custom: When you've completed your transformation, pick a new name for yourself, and use it only when you're conversing with your ancestors, your teachers, or yourself.


Take inventory of the extent that "No" dominates your life. Notice how often you say or think: 1. "That's not right." 2. "I don't like that." 3. "I don't agree with that." 4. "They don't like me." 5. "I'm not very good." 6. "That should be different from what it is." For help in retraining yourself to say "Yes!" at least 51% of the time, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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All of creation loves you very much. Even now, secret allies are cooking up mysteries that will excite you and incite you for years to come. Even now, the Earth, moon, and sun are collaborating to make sure you have all you need to make your next smart move.

But here's the loaded question: Are you willing to start loving life back with an equal intensity? The adoration it offers you has not exactly been unrequited, but there is room for you to be more demonstrative.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♐ SAGITTARIUS

(November 22-December 21)
Please raise your hand if you have ever sought out a romantic connection with someone mostly because of the way he or she looked. You shouldn't feel bad if you have; it's pretty common. But I hope you won't indulge in this behavior any time soon. In the coming weeks, it's crucial for you to base your decisions on deeper understandings -- not just in regards to potential partners and lovers, but for everything. As you evaluate your options, don't allow physical appearance and superficial attractiveness to be the dominant factors.


How's your fight for freedom going? Are you making progress in liberating yourself from your unconscious obsessions, bad habits, and conditioned responses? For assistance and inspiration, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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When many people talk about their childhoods, they emphasize the alienating, traumatic experiences they had. It has become fashionable to avoid reporting memories of the good times in one's past. This seems dishonest—a testament to the popularity of cynicism rather than a reflection of objective truth.

I don't mean to downplay the way your early encounters with pain demoralized your spirit. But as you reconnoiter the promise of pronoia, it's crucial for you to extol the gifts you were given in your early years: all the helpful encounters, kind teachings, and simple acts of grace that helped you bloom. Remember them now, please.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♑ CAPRICORN

(December 22-January 19)
The 21st flight of the 4.5-million-pound Space Shuttle Discovery was supposed to happen on June 8, 1995. But about a week before its scheduled departure, workers discovered an unforeseen problem. Northern Flicker Woodpeckers had made a mess of the insulation on the outer fuel tank; they'd pecked a couple of hundred holes, some quite deep. To allow for necessary repairs, launch was postponed for over a month. I'm choosing this scenario to serve as a useful metaphor for you, Capricorn. Regard it as your notice not to ignore a seemingly tiny adversary or trivial obstacle. Take that almost-insignificant pest seriously.


Assume that your drive to experience pleasure isn't a barrier to your spiritual growth, but is in fact essential to it. Proceed on the hypothesis that cultivating joy can make you a more ethical and compassionate person. Imagine that feeling good has something important to teach you every day. For inspiration in practicing this approach, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Is the world a dangerous, chaotic place with no inherent purpose, running on automatic like a malfunctioning machine and fundamentally inimical to your happiness? Or are you surrounded by helpers in a friendly universe that gives you challenges in order to make you smarter and wilder and kinder? Trick questions! The answers may depend, at least to some degree, on what you believe is true.

Formulate a series of experiments that will allow you to objectively test the hypothesis that the universe is conspiring to help you.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♒ AQUARIUS

(January 20- February 18)
It's official: Dancing increases your intelligence. So says a report in the New England Journal of Medicine. Unfortunately, research found that swimming, bicycling, and playing golf are not at all effective in rewiring the brain's neural pathways. Doing crossword puzzles is somewhat helpful, though, and so is reading books. But one of the single best things you can do to enhance your cognitive functioning is to move your body around in creative and coordinated rhythm with music. Lucky you: This is a phase of your astrological cycle when you're likely to have more impulses and opportunities to dance. Take advantage! Get smarter. (More info.


"Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show." So begins Charles Dickens' novel David Copperfield. I'd like to inspire you to write a story of your own that begins like that. For help, tune into your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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A thousand years from today, everyone you know will be long dead and forgotten. There'll be nothing left of the life you love, no evidence that you ever walked this planet. That, at least, is what the fundamentalist materialists would have you believe. But suppose the truth is very different? What if in fact every little thing you do subtly alters the course of world history? What if your day-to-day decisions will actually help determine how the human species navigates its way through the epic turning point we're living through? And finally, what if you will be alive in a thousand years, reincarnated into a fresh body and in possession of the memories of the person you were back in this era? These are my hypotheses. These are my prophecies. Which is why I say: Live as if your soul is eternal.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♓ PISCES

(February 19-March 20)
Your animal totem for the next phase of your astrological cycle is a creature called a hero shrew. Of all the mammals in the world, it has the strongest and heaviest spine proportionate to its size. This exceptional attribute makes the tiny animal so robust that a person could stand on it without causing serious harm. You will need to have a backbone like that in the coming weeks, Pisces. Luckily, the universe will be conspiring to help you. I expect to see you stand up to the full weight of the pressures coming to bear on you -- and do it with exceptional charisma.


I invite you to keep a running list of all the ways life delights you and helps you and energizes you. Describe everyday miracles you take for granted . . . the uncanny powers you possess . . . the small joys that occur so routinely you forget how much they mean to you . . . the steady flow of benefits bestowed on you by people you know and don't know. What works for you? What makes you feel at home in the world? For inspiration in this noble effort, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Psychologist Carl Jung believed that all desires have a sacred origin, no matter how odd they may seem. Frustration and ignorance may contort them into distorted caricatures, but it is always possible to locate the divine source from which they arose. In describing one of his addictive patients, Jung said: "His craving for alcohol was the equivalent on a low level of the spiritual thirst for wholeness, or as expressed in medieval language: the union with God."

Therapist James Hillman echoes the theme: "Psychology regards all symptoms to be expressing the right thing in the wrong way." A preoccupation with porn or romance novels, for instance, may come to dominate a passionate person whose quest for love has degenerated into an obsession with images of love. "Follow the lead of your symptoms," Hillman suggests, "for there's usually a myth in the mess, and a mess is an expression of soul."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.


Listen to Rob's Expanded Audio Horoscopes, updated weekly.



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