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Horoscopes by Rob Brezsny


Week of April 26th, 2012

♈ ARIES

(March 21-April 19)
"True life is lived when tiny changes occur," said Leo Tolstoy. I agree. It's rare for us to undergo rapid, dramatic transformations in short periods of time. That's why it's delusional to be forever pining for some big magic intervention that will fix everything. The best way to alter our course is slowly and gradually, by conscientiously revamping our responses to the small daily details. Keep these thoughts close at hand in the coming weeks, Aries. Be a devotee of the incremental approach. Step-by-step. Hour-by-hour.


Wouldn't you love to learn more about who you really are? What better adventure is there than learning about your soul's code? For more hints, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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"The secret of life," said sculptor Henry Moore to poet Donald Hall, "is to have a task, something you devote your entire life to, something you bring everything to, every minute of the day for your whole life. And the most important thing is--it must be something you cannot possibly do." What is that task for you?
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♉ TAURUS

(April 20-May 20)
"What people really need and demand from life is not wealth, comfort, or esteem, but games worth playing," said psychiatrist Thomas Szasz. I love that thought, and am excited to offer it up to you right now. You have been invited or will soon be invited to participate in some of the best games ever. These are not grueling games foisted on you by people hoping to manipulate you, nor pointless games that exhaust your energy for naught. Rather, they are fun challenges that promise to stretch your intelligence, deepen your perspective, and enhance your emotional riches.


I hope the oracle above provides you with the inspiration you need to do what you've got to do and change what needs to be changed. But if you need more clues, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE, where I go further in exploring your mysteries.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
With luck and persistence, you will be able to claim the rewards promised you at the beginning of time -- not just any old beauty, wisdom, goodness, love, freedom, and justice, but rather exhilarating beauty that incites you to be true to yourself; crazy wisdom that immunizes you against the temptation to believe your ideals are ultimate truths; outrageous goodness that inspires you to experiment with boisterous empathy; generous freedom that keeps you alert for opportunities to share your wealth; insurrectionary love that endlessly transforms you; and a lust for justice that's leavened with a knack for comedy, keeping you honest as you work humbly to liberate everyone in the world from ignorance and suffering.
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The preceding oracle comes from my new book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♊ GEMINI

(May 21-June 20)
Is it conceivable that you've gotten a bit off track? As I close my eyes and ask my higher powers for a psychic vision, I get an impression of you staring at a blurry image of a symbol that is no longer an accurate representation of your life goal. Now of course there's a chance that my vision is completely unfounded. But if it does ring at least somewhat true to you -- if it suggests a question worth asking yourself -- I invite you to meditate on the possibility that you need to update your understanding of what your ultimate target looks like.


For more help in understanding your relationship with the game of life, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Six miles from Maui is a Hawaiian island that tourists never visit --Kaho'olawe. The U.S. Navy seized it in 1941 and used it as a target range for decades. After years of protests by Native Hawaiians, the Navy finally stopped bombing and began a clean-up campaign. In November, 2003, it formally turned control of the island over to the rightful owners.

"You can get a feel on Kaho'olawe of what it was like to live on Hawaii at the time of our ancestors," says Native Hawaiian Davianna McGregor. "We can practice our traditions there without it being a tourist attraction. It's one place we can go to be in communion with our natural life forces."
Each of us has a personal version of Kaho'olawe: a part of our psyche that has been stolen or colonized by hostile forces. To grow bolder in exploring pronoia, you'll need to take back yours.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♋ CANCERIAN

(June 21-July 22)
From an astrological point of view, it's prime time for you to attend a networking extravaganza or collaboration spree. Likewise, this is an excellent phase in your long-term cycle to organize a gathering for the close allies who will be most important in helping you carry out your master plan during the next 12 months. Have you ever heard of the term "Temporary Autonomous Zone"? It's a time and place where people with shared interests and common values can explore the frontiers of productive conviviality. It might be a dinner party in an inspirational setting, a boisterous ritual in a rowdy sanctuary, or a private festival for fellow seekers. I hope you make sure something like that materializes.


Would you like further inspiration as you scheme and dream to make the most of life's sometimes puzzling opportunities? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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I'm allergic to dogma. I thrive on riddles. Any idea I believe, I reserve the right to disbelieve as well. But more than any other vision I've ever tested, pronoia describes the way the world actually is. It's wetter than water, stronger than death, and truer than the news. It smells like cedar smoke in the autumn rain, and if you close your eyes right now, you can feel it shimmering like the aurora borealis in your organs and muscles. Its song is your blood's song.

Some people argue that life is strife and suffering is normal. Others swear we're born sinful and only heaven can provide us with the peace that passes understanding. But pronoia says that being alive on this rough green and brown planet is the highest honor and privilege. It's an invitation to work wonders and perform miracles that aren't possible in any nirvana, promised land, or afterlife.

I'm not exaggerating or indulging in poetic metaphor when I tell you that we are already living in paradise. Visualize it if you dare. The sweet stuff that quenches all of our longing is not far away in some other time and place. It's right here and right now.

Poet Elizabeth Barrett Browning knew the truth: "Earth's crammed with heaven."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♌ LEO

(July 23-August 22)
To begin one of his performances, comedian and musician Steve Martin ambled on stage and told his audience what to expect. "Before every show," he said, "I like to do one thing that is impossible. So now I'm going to suck this piano into my lungs." That's the kind of brag I hope to hear coming from you sometime soon, Leo -- the more outrageous the better. Why? Because I'd love to see you cultivate a looser, breezier relationship with your actual ambitions. To make boastful jokes about wacky or farfetched goals might inspire you to be jauntier and friskier about those real ones. And that would rouse a burst of fresh motivational energy.


What exactly are you looking for? How would you describe the experiences you want more than anything else? It's possible my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE could give you additional help in figuring that out.

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Quoting geneticists, Guy Murchie says we're all family. You have at least a million relatives as close as tenth cousin, and no one on Earth is any farther removed than your 50th cousin.

Murchie also describes our kinship through an analysis of how deeply we share the air. With each breath, you take into your body 10 sextillion atoms, and--owing to the wind's ceaseless circulation--over a year's time you have intimate relations with oxygen molecules exhaled by every person alive, as well as by everyone who ever lived. Right now you may be carrying atoms that were once inside the lungs of Malcolm X, Christopher Columbus, Joan of Arc, and Cleopatra.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♍ VIRGO

(August 23-September 22)
The text for this week's oracle comes from Frederick Douglass (1818-1895), a great American statesman who, after escaping slavery, became a leader of the abolitionist movement. "Those who profess to favor freedom and yet depreciate agitation," he said, "are people who want crops without plowing the ground; they want rain without thunder and lightning . . . The struggle may be a moral one, or it may be a physical one, or it may be both. But it must be a struggle. Power concedes nothing without a demand." Please apply these thoughts to your own situation, Virgo. You have entered the liberation phase of your cycle.


Want to hear more about the subconscious factors and hidden forces that may be influencing your life? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
More and more creative people find they do their best work when they're feeling healthy and secure. We know writers who no longer need to be drunk or in agony in order to shed the numbness of their daily routine and tap into the full powers of their imagination. We have filmmaker friends whose best work flows not from the depths of alienated self-doubt but rather from the heights of well-earned bliss. Singer-songwriter P.J. Harvey is the patron saint of this new breed. "When I'm contented, I'm more open to receiving a lot of inspiration," she has testified. "I'm most creative when I feel safe and happy.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♎ LIBRA

(September 23-October 22)
I'm about to list some declarations that I hope will come out of your mouth at least once in the next three weeks. If for any reason you're not finding yourself in situations where these words would make sense for you to utter, please rearrange your life accordingly. 1. "There's nothing else I'd rather be doing right now." 2. "Is it okay with you if we take this really slow?" 3. "No one's ever done that before." 4. "Squeeze my hand when it feels really amazing." 5. "It's like we know what each other is thinking." 6. "Can I have some more, please?"


To further explore the ripening blessings and interesting challenges in your life, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
The sage and her student were standing by a pool discussing longing and ambition.

"What do you want more than anything else?" the sage asked.

"To perfect my ability to love all of creation the way I love myself," the young man replied.

At that moment, the sage tackled the student and shoved his head beneath the water. Accustomed to letting his teacher shape the unpredictable contours of his education, he did not resist.

One minute went by. Then another. The student began to struggle and kick. His teacher was strong.

Finally she released her grip and the student surfaced, fighting for breath.

"What did you want more than anything else during these last few minutes?" the sage inquired.

"Nothing else was in my mind except the desire for air," gasped the student.

"Excellent," beamed the sage. "As soon as you are equally single-minded in your desire to perfect your ability to love all of creation the way you love yourself, you will achieve your goal."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♏ SCORPIO

(October 23-November 21)
A political strategist told me one of her most important rules: To win an election, you have to help your candidate choose the right fights. I think that would be an excellent guiding principle for you in the coming weeks, Scorpio. According to my reading of the astrological omens, you will be getting invitations to spar, joust, and wrangle. Although it might be exciting to leap into each and every fray with your eyes blazing, I suggest you show careful discernment. Try to confine your participation to those tangles that will downplay your weaknesses and highlight your strengths.


Need more whacks applied to your mental blocks? More caresses bestowed upon your growing edge? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
Go to the ugliest or most forlorn place you know--a drugstore parking lot, the front porch of a crack house, a toxic waste dump, or the place that symbolizes your secret shame--and build a shrine devoted to beauty, truth, and love.

Here are some suggestions about what to put in your shrine: a silk scarf; a smooth rock on which you've inscribed a haiku or joke with a felt-tip pen; coconut cookies or ginger candy; pumpkin seeds and an origami crane; a green kite shaped like a dragon; a music CD you love; a photo of your hero; a votive candle carved with your word of power; a rubber ducky; a bouquet of fresh beets; a print of Van Gogh's "Starry Night."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♐ SAGITTARIUS

(November 22-December 21)
In the famous children's book The Little Prince, the hero lives on an asteroid with three volcanoes, two active and one dormant. One day he decides to leave home and travel to other realms. Before departing, he meticulously scours all three volcanoes. "If they are well cleaned out," the narrator reports, "volcanoes burn slowly and steadily, without any eruptions." I recommend that you take after the Little Prince, Sagittarius. It's high time to attend to the upkeep of your volcanoes. Make sure they will burn slow and steady in the coming months, even when you're not at home.


Where do you want to go? Who do you want to be? For more clues, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
Late at night when there's no traffic, stride down the middle of an empty road that by day is crawling with cars. Dance, careen, and sing songs that fill you with pleasurable emotions. Splay your arms triumphantly as you extemporize prayers in which you make extravagant demands and promises. Give pet names to the trees you pass, declare your admiration for the workers who made the road, and celebrate your sovereignty over a territory that usually belongs to heavy machines and their operators.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♑ CAPRICORN

(December 22-January 19)
One of the classics of ancient Sanskrit literature is the Kama Sutra, which gives practical advice about erotic love. The most popular edition of the book offers instructions on eight kinds of kisses and 64 sexual positions, with additional tips on styles of embracing and caressing. This would be an excellent time for you to get inspired by information like that, Capricorn. Your relationship with the amorous arts is due for expansion and refinement. You don't necessarily need to rely on book learning, of course. You could accomplish a lot of empirical exploration simply by getting naked and firing up your imagination.


Would you like to hear me say some more about your ever-evolving destiny? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
Contrary to what some translations of the Bible say, it won't be the meek who shall inherit the earth. On the other hand, the arrogant power mongers won't collect the legacy either. Neither the indecisive wimps nor the acquisitive bullies will contribute much to creating the New World.

Who, then, will inherit the earth? What kind of human beings are best-equipped to thrive in the evolving game of life? We say it will be the well-disciplined pleasure-seekers who are in vigorous dialogue with their own dark sides, who balance the masculine and feminine aspects of their natures, and who master the fine arts of working at their play and playing at their work.

Assume our definition has some validity for you. What would you have to do to become more like one of the inheritors of the earth?
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♒ AQUARIUS

(January 20- February 18)
Singer-songwriter Tom Waits was strongly influenced by Bob Dylan's down-to-earth album The Basement Tapes. "I like my music with the rinds and the seeds and pulp left in," Waits testifies. "The noise and grit" of Dylan's rootsy, intimate songs, he says, creates a mood of "joy and abandon." That's the spirit I wish for you in the coming weeks, Aquarius. Wherever you are and whatever you're doing, get down to the gritty, organic core of things. Hunker down in the funky fundamentals. Hang out where the levels of pretension are low and the stories are fresh and raw.


Need more help deciphering the riddles and enigmas that are fueling your amazing story? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
Dear Beauty and Truth Lab: Can you tell me why my trivial prayers are often answered (please don't let the light turn red, please let there be enough milk for one cup of coffee, etc.), but never my big life-changing prayers (please send me a soul mate, please help me make money at what I love to do)? Are God's priorities screwed up, or is it me? - Dumb Luck Collector

Dear DLC: There's an old fairy tale in which two old folks are given three wishes by a magic dwarf, but impulsively waste them on the first silly whims that pop into their heads. I'll tell you what I would have told them: Proceed on the assumption that only a few of your fervent prayers will be granted. Don't use them up on pleas for convenience when you're tired, cranky, or desperate. A Tibetan proverb says, "The person who gets stuck on petty happiness will not attain great happiness."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♓ PISCES

(February 19-March 20)
You're not really breaking the rules, right, Pisces? It's more like you're just testing their elasticity; you're helping them become more supple and flexible. I'm sure that sooner or later people will thank you for how you're expanding the way the game is played. It may take a while, but they will eventually appreciate and capitalize on the liberties you are now introducing into the system. In the short run, though, you might have to take some heat for your tinkering and experiments. Try not to let that inhibit your eagerness to try creative risks.


No one knows you better than you do, but maybe I can help you dig up even more self-knowledge. Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
DEFINITION: Pronoia is the antidote for paranoia. It's the understanding that the universe is fundamentally friendly. It's a mode of retraining your senses and intellect so you're able to perceive that life always gives you exactly what you need, exactly when you need it.

HYPOTHESES: Evil is boring. Cynicism is idiotic. Fear is a bad habit. Despair is lazy. Joy is fascinating. Love is an act of heroic genius. Pleasure is our birthright. Receptivity is a superpower.

PROCEDURE: Act as if the universe is a prodigious miracle created for your amusement and illumination. Assume that secret helpers are working behind the scenes to assist you in turning into the gorgeous masterpiece you were born to be. Join the conspiracy to shower all of creation with blessings.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.


Listen to Rob's Expanded Audio Horoscopes, updated weekly.



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