What do you typically do just before you fall asleep and right after you wake up? Those rituals are important for your mental health. Without exaggeration, you could say they are sacred times when you're poised in the threshold between the two great dimensions of your life. I'll ask you to give special care and attention to those transitions in the coming week. As much as possible, avoid watching TV or surfing the Internet right up to the moment you turn off the light, and don't leap out of bed the instant an alarm clock detonates. The astrological omens suggest you are primed to receive special revelations, even ringing epiphanies, while in those in-between states.

How well is your imagination working these days? Could it use a boost? A prod? A jolt of inspiration? Try tuning in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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It's possible there's still enough oil buried in the earth to sustain our civilization's exorbitant appetite for material comforts for another 100 years. Or it may be true, as some researchers suggest, that global reserves of black gold are rapidly dwindling, and 20 years from now we'll all be farmers and hunters sitting around campfires at night telling stories.

Whichever scenario comes to pass, you may be happiest and smartest and healthiest if you cultivate a simple and earthy relationship with luxury—something akin to poet Omar Khayyám's notion, which was "a jug of wine, a loaf of bread, and thou beside me singing in the wilderness." Comments? Questions? Celebrations?

P.S. The amount of oil left in the world has no bearing whatsoever on your ability to cultivate ecstasy.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

Have you ever gazed into the eyes of goats? If you have, you know that their pupils are rectangular when dilated. This quirk allows them to have a field of vision that extends as far as 340 degrees, as opposed to humans' puny 160-210 degrees. They can also see better at night than we can. Goats are your power animal in the coming week, Taurus. Metaphorically speaking, you will have an excellent chance to expand your breadth and depth of vision. Do you have any blind spots that need to be illuminated? Now's the time to make that happen.

Want more clues? Need further insight? For more evocative questions and pithy suggestions about your unfolding destiny, check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Here's Caroline Myss' explanation of faith: "Faith is the power to stand up to the madness and chaos of the physical world while holding the position that nothing external has any authority over what heaven has in mind for you."

If you don't like the word "heaven" in Myss' statement, substitute a term that works for you, like "your higher self" or "your destiny" or "your soul's code." Modify anything else in it that's not right for your needs, as well. When you're finished tinkering, I hope you'll have created a definition of faith that motivates you with as much primal power as you feel when you're in love.
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The preceding oracle comes from my new book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

In the animated film The Lion King, two of the central characters are a talking meerkat named Timon and a talking warthog named Pumbaa. Their actions are often heroic. They help the star of the tale, Simba, rise to his rightful role as king. The human actors who provided the voices for Timon and Pumbaa, Nathan Lane and Ernie Sabella, originally auditioned for the lesser roles of hyenas. They set their sights too low. Fortunately fate conspired to give them more than what they asked for. Don't start out as they did, Gemini. Aim high right from the beginning -- not for the bit part or the minor role but rather for the catalyst who actually gets things done.

How much do you want to know about your life? How far do you dare to go in your quest for self-mastery? For more insight into your intriguing fate, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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The New York Times ran a story about philosopher Nick Bostrom, who believes there's a significant chance our world is actually a computer simulation. In his scenario, you and I are living in a version of The Matrix. Our "brains" are merely webs of computer circuits created by our post-human descendants, who are studying "ancestor simulations" of their past. I bring this to your attention because I'd like to invite you to find out, one way or another, whether Bostrom is correct.

Make it your intention to cultivate a talent for knowing what's real and what's not. Develop a knack for escaping what's illusory and gravitating toward what's authentic. If you do these simple things, I bet you will earn a big reward: a chronic, low-key, blissful sense of union with pretty much everything that's appealing to you.

Bonus: Even if you do find out that we're living in The Matrix, you could become a messiah with resemblances to the character that Keanu Reeves played in the film trilogy. He could fly.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

"He who is outside his door already has a hard part of his journey behind him," says a Dutch proverb. Ancient Roman writer Marcus Terentius Varro articulated a similar idea: "The longest part of the journey is the passing of the gate." I hope these serve as words of encouragement for you, Cancerian. You've got a quest ahead of you. At its best, it will involve freewheeling exploration and unpredictable discoveries. If you can get started in a timely manner, you'll set an excellent tone for the adventures. Don't procrastinate.

Would you like to hear more about the hidden factors influencing your life? Do you want to uncover the secrets you've been hiding even from yourself? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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While loitering on a sidewalk outside a nightclub in San Francisco on a September night in 1994, I found the cover of a booklet lying in the gutter. Written by Marilena Silbey and Paul Ramana Das, it was called "How to Survive Passionate Intimacy with a Dreamy Partner While Making a Fortune on the Path to Enlightenment." Sadly, the rest of the text was missing. Ever since, hungry for its wisdom, I've tried to hunt down a copy of the whole thing, but to no avail.

I'm hoping that maybe you will consider writing your own version of the subject. If you do, please send it to me.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

You're so close to finding a fresh perspective that would allow you to outmaneuver an old torment, Leo. You're on the verge of breaking through a wall of illusion that has sealed you off from some very interesting truths. In the hope of providing you with the last little push that will take you the rest of the way, I offer two related insights from creativity specialist Roger von Oech: 1. If you get too fixated on solving a certain problem, you may fail to notice a new opportunity that arises outside the context of that problem. 2. If you intensify your focus by looking twice as hard at a situation that's right in front of you, you will be less likely to see a good idea that's right behind you.

Do you wish you could get more clarity about the foggy, ambiguous situations you're dealing with? Want more help in exploring the Great Mystery that is your life? I discuss your coming week in greater depth in your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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"Picture the Grand Canyon," says Buddhist teacher Jack Kornfield. "Every hundred years, a child comes by and throws a mustard seed into it. In the time it takes to fill the hole in the earth with mustard seeds, one maha­kal­pa will have passed. To perfect the virtuous heart -- the joy of integrity -- takes a thousand mahakalpas."

If that's true, then you've still got a lot of work to do. The good news is that civilization is in the midst of a critical turning point that could tremendously expedite your ripening. So you could make unusually great progress toward the goal of perfecting the virtuous heart in the next 40 years.

For best results, meditate often on the phrase "the joy of integrity." Get familiar with the pleasurable emotion that comes from acting with impeccability. And try out this idea from Gandhi: Integrity is the royal road to your inner freedom.

P.S. Oddly enough, the work of perfecting the virtuous heart is very effective in helping you master the art of cultivating everyday ecstasy. Meditate on the connection.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

Thirty-two carrier pigeons were awarded medals by the United Kingdom for their meritorious service in the World Wars. Of course, they probably would have preferred sunflower seeds and peanuts as their prize. Let that lesson guide you as you bestow blessings on the people and animals that have done so much for you, Virgo. Give them goodies they would actually love to receive, not meaningless gold stars or abstract accolades. It's time to honor and reward your supporters with practical actions that suit them well.

Do you want further explorations of the intriguing twists and turns of your personal evolution? Would you like help in solving the riddles that confuse you? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Alice finds her way to Wonderland by falling down a rabbit hole. Dorothy rides to Oz on a tornado. In C. S. Lewis's The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, Lucy stumbles into the magical land of Narnia via a portal in the back of a large clothes cabinet.

In the sequels to all these adventures, however, the heroines must find different ways to access their exotic dreamlands. Alice slips through a mirror next time. Dorothy uses a Magic Belt. Lucy leaps into a painting of a schooner that becomes real.

Take heed of these precedents. The next time a threshold opens into an alternative reality you've enjoyed in the past, it may not resemble the doorways you've used before.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

The caterpillar-to-butterfly transformation is such an iconic symbol of metamorphosis that it has become a cliche. And yet I'd like to point out that when the graceful winged creature emerges from its chrysalis, it never grows any further. We human beings, on the other hand, are asked to be in a lifelong state of metamorphosis, continually adjusting and shifting to meet our changing circumstances. I'll go so far as to say that having a readiness to be in continual transformation is one of the most beautiful qualities a person can have. Are you interested in cultivating more of that capacity, Libra? Now would be an excellent time to do so. Remember that line by Bob Dylan: "He who is not busy being born is busy dying."

Need more help in figuring out the questions life is asking you? Crave more support in your efforts to build your courage? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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"Keep exploring what it takes to be the opposite of who you are," suggests psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, author of the book Creativity: Flow and the Psychology of Discovery and Invention. This advice is one of his ideas about how to get into attunement with the Tao, also known as being in the zone.

How would you go about being the opposite of who you are? Try it and see if it drives you into a state of euphoria.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

This would be an excellent time to round up a slew of new role models. In my astrological opinion, you need to feel far more than your usual levels of admiration for exceptional human beings. You're in a phase when you could derive tremendous inspiration by closely observing masters and virtuosos and pros who are doing what you would like to do. For that matter, your mental and spiritual health would be profoundly enhanced by studying anyone who has found what he or she was born to do and is doing it with liberated flair.

What fresh blessings will life bring you? What questions should you be asking? To explore the ripening trends further, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Check out this excerpt from "Those Who Do Not Dance," by Chilean poet Gabriela Mistral: "God asked from on high, / 'How do I come down from this blueness?' / We told Him: / come dance with us in the light."

I love this passage because it reminds me that nothing is ever set in stone; everything is always up for grabs. Even God needs to be open to change and eager for fresh truths. Furthermore, even we puny humans may on occasion need to be God's teacher and helper. Likewise, we can never be sure about what lowly or unexpected sources might bring us the influences we require.

What do Mistral's words mean to you? Imagine you're the "God" referenced in the poem. What blueness are you ready to come down from, and who might invite you to dance in their light?
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

WD-40 is a spray product that prevents corrosion, loosens stuck hinges, removes hard-to-get-at dirt, and has several other uses. Its inventor, Norm Larsen, tried 39 different formulas before finding the precisely right combination of ingredients on his fortieth attempt. The way I understand your life right now, Sagittarius, is that you are like Larsen when he was working with version number 37. You're getting closer to creating a viable method for achieving your next success. That's why I urge you to be patient and determined as you continue to tinker and experiment. Don't keep trying the same formula that didn't quite work before. Open your mind to the possibility that you have not yet discovered at least one of the integral components.

Want to explore this chapter of your life story even further? Dig deeper? Push harder? Consider tuning in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES.

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Confounding lessons and delightful shocks have been increasing in frequency during the recent past and will continue to do so in the foreseeable future. In light of that fact, you may want to find some new ways to express your amazement. Clichés like "Jesus H. Christ!" or "Holy crap!" or "What the fuck?!" may not be sufficient to capture the full impact of the aha! moments.

To get you launched in the right direction, I'll suggest a few fresh exclamations. They're not designed to become tried-and-true replacements for the lazy phrases you're using now, but are rather meant to jog your imagination and inspire you to conjure up a constantly changing variety of ever-fresh invocations. Now see how these roll off your tongue: "Great Odin's raven!" "Radical lymphocytes!" "Cackling whacks of jibber-jabber!" "Frosty heat waves!" "Panoramic serpentine!"
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

A person who emits a huge angry shout produces just .001 watt of energy. Even if he or she yelled continuously 24/7, it would still take a year and nine months to produce enough energy to heat a cup of coffee. That's one way to metaphorically illustrate my bigger point, which is that making a dramatic show of emotional agitation may feel powerful but is often a sign of weakness. Please take this to heart in the coming week, Capricorn. If you do fall prey to a frothy eruption of tumultuous feelings, use all of your considerable willpower to maintain your poise. Better yet, abort the tumult before it detonates. This is one time when repressing negative feelings will be healthy, wealthy, and wise.

You're got more strength and intelligence than you realize. For help in accessing those untapped inner resources, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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A friend gave me a live rosebush in a planter for my birthday last June. After a few weeks, its five red flowers withered and turned brown but didn't fall off their stems. I left them there, perversely fascinated by the dead blooms that wouldn't let go. Months later, in late November, five new flowers blossomed. Then the bush displayed a mix of the living and the dead.

Would you have plucked off the dried-up old blooms, or would you find it more beautiful with both the living and the dead together?
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

Jeep vehicles always feature seven slots on their front grills. Why? For the manufacturer, it's a symbolic statement proclaiming the fact that Jeep was the first vehicle driven on all seven continents. Let's take that as your cue, Aquarius. Your assignment is to pick an accomplishment you're really proud of and turn it into an emblem, image, glyph, or talisman that you can wear or express. If nothing else, draw it on dusty car windows, write it on bathroom walls, or add it to a Facebook status update. The key thing is that you use a public forum to celebrate yourself for a significant success, even if it's in a modest or mysterious way.

How are you going to change what needs to be changed and accept what needs to be accepted? To get some support from me, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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In his book Making Sex: Body and Gender from the Greeks to Freud, historian Thomas Laquer suggests that the clitoris may have been unknown to male anatomists until 1559. In that year, Renaldus Columbus, a professor at the University of Padua in Italy, announced his discovery of the "seat of woman's delight," and declared his right to name it the "sweetness of Venus."

Is there a sublime pleasure whose existence you haven't discovered? Where is it? How can you find it?
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

A sign outside the Apostolic Bible Church in Bathurst, New Brunswick invited worshipers to meditate on a conundrum: "Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?" After all, if the builder of the Ark had refused to help the pesky insects survive the flood, we'd be free of their torment today. (Or so the allegorical argument goes.) Please apply this lesson to a situation in your own sphere, Pisces. As you journey to your new world, leave the vexatious elements behind.

Sometimes it's a challenge to try to figure out what's important and what's not important. If you'd like more of my input, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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If you're reading this, you're probably not a Cambodian orphan who grew up as a slave in a brothel or a Sudanese man kidnapped by a militia and forced to do heavy labor 18 hours a day or one of the millions of other victims of human trafficking around the world. But you may be yoked and subjugated in a less literal way, perhaps to a debilitating drug or an abusive relationship or a job that brings out the worst in you or a fearful fantasy about the looming collapse of civilization's infrastructure.

The good news is that you have the power to escape your bondage. Maybe it'll help you muster the strength you need if I remind you that your freedom won't be anywhere near as difficult to achieve as that of the Pakistani boy tied to a carpet loom in a dark room around the clock or the Nigerian woman who's beaten daily as she toils in the sugar cane fields for no pay.

Try this: When you feel overwhelmed by the sadness of your problems or the addiction of your compulsions, put on your best clothes and clean toilets at a homeless shelter, or give foot massages to workers at a sewage disposal plant, or sing songs, sip champagne, and play card games with patients at a psychiatric hospital. Be ready to get hit upside the soul with exotic varieties of ecstasy, which such acts will unleash.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.