Three famous actresses formed the British Anti-Cosmetic Surgery League last year. Rachel Wiesz, Kate Winslet, and Emma Thompson say they believe people should be happy with the physical appearance that nature gave them. Is it rude of me to note that unlike most of the rest of us, those three women were born gorgeous? It's easy for them to promise not to mess with their looks. Do you ever do that, Virgo? Urge other people to do what's natural for you but a challenge for them? I recommend against that this week. For example: If you want to influence someone to change, be willing to change something about yourself that's hard to change.

You can still listen to my long-range, in-depth explorations of your destiny. What will be the story of your life in 2012? A new short-term forecast for this week is also available. Sign in to access the 'scopes here.

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In an article about storytellers in the Los Angeles Times, Leslie Berger profiled a high school teacher named Luigi Jannuzzi. "He once saved the life of a student who was choking on a Life Saver," Berger wrote, "and thus discovered his own gift of gab: He told the kid a joke so funny that his laughter popped the candy out of his throat."

Make up a story in which your sense of humor saves someone's life.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.