As he approaches his 70th birthday, retiree and Michigan resident Michael Nicholson is still hard at work adding to his education. He's got 27 college degrees so far, including 12 master's degrees and a doctorate. Although he's not an "A" student, he loves learning for its own sake. I nominate him to be your role model for the coming weeks, Sagittarius. Your opportunities for absorbing new lessons will be at a peak. I hope you take full advantage of all the teachings that will be available.

You can still listen to my long-range, in-depth explorations of your destiny. What will be the story of your life in 2012? A new short-term forecast for this week is also available. Sign in to access the 'scopes here.

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Change yourself in the way you want everyone else to change
Love your enemies in case your friends turn out to be jerks
Avoid thinking about winning the lottery while making love
Brainwash yourself before someone nasty beats you to it
Confess big secrets to people who aren't very interested
Write a love letter to your evil twin during a lunar eclipse
Fool the tricky red beasts guarding the Wheels of Time
Locate the master codex and add erudite graffiti to it
Dream up wilder, wetter, more interesting problems
Change your name every day for a thousand days
Kill the apocalypse and annihilate Armageddon
Exaggerate your flaws till they turn into virtues
Brag about what you can't do and don't have
Get a vanity license plate that reads KZMYAZ
Bow down to the greatest mystery you know
Make fun of people who make fun of people
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.