"If you're in a good relationship, chances are you're bored out of your mind," spouts comedian Chris Rock in his show Never Scared. "All good relationships are boring. The only exciting relationships are bad ones. You never know what's going to happen tomorrow when you're in a bad relationship. You never know when they're gonna walk through the door and say, 'Hey, you gave me crabs.' That's exciting!" Rock is making a satirical overstatement, but it does contain grains of truth. Which is why, in accordance with the astrological omens, I deliver the following request to you: In 2012, cultivate stable relationships that are boring in all the best ways.

What will be the story of your life in 2012? How can you exert your free will to create the adventures that'll bring out the best in you, even as you find graceful ways to cooperate with the tides of destiny? This week and next week, my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES will feature Part 2 and Part 3 of my long-range, in-depth explorations of your destiny in 2012. Tune in! Start brainstorming about the adventures that could be in store for you in the coming months. (P.S. Part 1 of your Long-Range Predictions, which I offered last week, is also still available.)