Pigeons are blessed with an extraordinary ability to find home, even if they're hundreds of miles away. They have an internal compass that allows them to read the Earth's magnetic field, and they also create a "map of smells" that gives them crucial clues as they navigate. A team of scientists performed some odd experiments that revealed a quirky aspect to the birds' talent: If their right nostril is blocked, their innate skill doesn't work nearly as well. (It's OK if their left nostril is blocked, though.) What does this have to do with you? Well, Aquarius, you've been like a homing pigeon with its right nostril blocked, and it's high time you unblocked it. In the coming months, you can't afford to be confused about where home is, what your community consists of, or where you belong.

This week my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES offer you a teaser look at some of the major themes you will be working and playing with in 2012. Then, beginning December 27, I will devote three consecutive weeks of EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES to an in-depth discussion of your long-range outlook for the coming months. Tune in!

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
I hope you can obtain the Avatar Elixir stashed in the golden obelisk in the underground fortress beneath the glass mountain. It will allow you to produce the "triple-helix" energy that will give you the power to cross freely back and forth through the gateway between universes. Then wild beasts will obey your commands. Rivers will become your allies. Every star in the sky will shine directly on you. And if for some reason you're not able to get your hands on that Avatar Elixir, you may be able to achieve similar results by drinking a bottle of beer stashed in the lower left rear section of the beverage cooler at a convenience store within five miles of your home.

Magic might be wherever you think it is.
*
The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.