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Horoscopes by Rob Brezsny


Week of December 8th, 2011

♌ LEO

(July 23-August 22)
At Chow.com, food critic L. Nightshade gathered "The 78 Most Annoying Words to Read in a Restaurant Review." Among the worst offenders: "meltingly tender," "yummilicious," "crazy delicious," "orgasmic," "I have seen God," "symphony of flavors," and "party in your mouth." I understand the reluctance of any serious wordsmith to resort to such predictable language in crafting an appraisal of restaurant fare, but I don't mind borrowing it to hint at your immediate future. What you experience may be more like a "party in your head" than a "party in your mouth," and "crazy delicious" may describe events and adventures rather than flavors, per se. But I think you're in for a yummilicious time.


What exactly are you looking for? How would you describe the experiences you want more than anything else? It's possible my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE could give you additional help in figuring that out.

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In Frederick Buechner's book On the Road with the Archangel, the star is the archangel Raphael. This supernatural helper has a tough gig: gathering the prayers of human beings and delivering them to God. Here's how he describes the range of pleas he hears: "There are prayers of such power that you might say they carry me rather than the other way around. There are prayers so apologetic and shamefaced and half-hearted that they all but melt away in my grasp like sad little flakes of snow. Some prayers are very boring."

Compose a prayer that's so powerful and entertaining that it could thrill an archangel.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.