"Basic research is what I am doing when I don't know what I am doing," said rocket scientist Werner von Braun. I think it's an excellent time for you to plunge into that kind of basic research, Aries. You're overdue to wander around frontiers you didn't even realize you needed to investigate. You're ready to soak up insights from outside the boundaries of your understanding. In fact, I think it's your sacred duty to expose yourself to raw truths and unexpected vistas that have been beyond your imagination's power to envision.

All of creation loves you very much. Even now, people you know and people you don't know are collaborating to make sure you have all you need to make your next smart move. But are you willing to start loving life back with an equal intensity? The adoration it offers you has not exactly been unrequited, but there is room for you to be more demonstrative. For help in cultivating this approach, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Here's a scene I wrote about late last summer: From the window of my office I look down on a blackberry bush whose berries are now ripening. In the last 20 minutes, I've watched a sparrow figure out the best way to feast. At first the bird tried to land on the flimsy branches of the bush, but after a few tries it realized they couldn't hold its weight. Its revised strategy was to grab a single berry in mid-swoop and alight on the branch of a nearby apple tree so it could relax with its meal. It did this 10 times.

Are you willing to collect your reward a little at a time? Explain how you will do it.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

In Woody Allen's film Midnight in Paris, the Ernest Hemingway character says, "All cowardice comes from not loving, or not loving well enough." Given the state of your current astrological omens, Taurus, that is an excellent piece of advice. I suspect you are going to be asked to call on previously untapped reserves of courage in the coming weeks -- not because you'll have to face physical danger but rather because you will have a chance to get to the bottom of mysteries that can only be explored if you have more courage than you've had up until now. And the single best way to summon the valor you'll need is to love like a god or goddess loves.

Psychotherapists say it's not only naughty but counterproductive to blame others for your problems. A skilled practitioner urges her clients to accept responsibility for the part they've played in creating their predicaments. The reason is as much pragmatic as it is ethical: When you're obsessed with how people have done you wrong, you have little ambition to change the behavior in yourself that led you into the mess.

While I endorse this approach, I also know that dogmatic adherence to it can warp your mental health as much as any other form of fanaticism. That's why I urge you to enjoy an unapologetic Blame Fest.

Choose a time when you will find fault with everyone except yourself. Howl in protest at the unfair slights people have committed against you. Wallow in self­pity as you visualize the clueless jerks who have done you wrong. For best results, bark your complaints in the direction of no one but God, an inanimate object, or your mirror.

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What is the obvious secret you can't quite see? How could you turn your challenges into daily gifts for yourself? For clues to mysteries like these, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

"When I see your face, the stones start spinning!" wrote the poet Rumi, as translated by Coleman Barks. "Water turns pearly. Fire dies down and doesn't destroy. In your presence I don't want what I thought I wanted." I think you need to be in the presence of a face like that, Gemini. You've got to get your fixations scrambled by an arresting vision of soulful authenticity. You need your colors transposed and your fire and water reconfigured. Most of all, it's crucial that you get nudged into transforming your ideas about what you really want. So go find that healingly disruptive prod, please. It's not necessarily the face of a gorgeous icon. It could be the face of a whisperer in the darkness or of a humble hero who's skilled in the art of surrender. Do you know where to look?

Grace emerges in the ebb and flow, not just the flow. The waning reveals a different blessing than the waxing. Where are you in the great cycle of your life? For inspiration in figuring it all out, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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There's a three-mile stretch of Interstate 880 south of Oakland, California, that I call the Singing Highway. For reasons I don't understand, it generates low humming melodies every time I drive over it, similar to the guttural chants of Tibetan monks. Sometimes I swear I can even hear lyrics.

Once, as I was driving to the airport on the Singing Highway, I swear I heard the same lyric repeating over and over again: "a shortcut to the path with heart / a shortcut to the path with heart / a shortcut to the path with heart."

Where's the path with heart for you? What would it involve for you to take a shortcut to get on it?
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

"All my life I have longed to be loved by a woman who was melancholy, thin, and an actress," wrote 19th-century French author Stendhal in his diary. "Now I have been, and I am not happy." I myself had a similar experience -- craving a particular type of women who, when she finally showed up in the flesh, disappointed me. But it turned out to be a liberating experience. Relieved of my delusory fantasy, I was able to draw more joy from what life was actually giving me. As you contemplate your own loss, Cancerian, I hope you will find the release and deliverance I did.

Whether it's your time to ferment in the shadows or sing in the sun, fresh power to transform yourself is on the way. Life always delivers the creative energy you need to change into the new thing you must become. For more help in understanding it all, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Change the burned-out light bulb.
Water the plants.
Take your multi-vitamin.
Wash the dishes.
Put new batteries in the TV remote.
Bow down to the Great Mystery.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

If you traveled 300 million years back in time, you might freak out in abject fear as you encountered dragonflies as big as eagles and cockroaches the size of dogs. But since you're quite safe from those monsters here in the present, there's no need to worry yourself sick about them. Similarly, if you managed to locate a time machine and return to an earlier phase of your current life, you'd come upon certain events that upset you and derailed you way back then. And yet the odds are very high that you're not going to find a time machine. So maybe you could agree to relinquish all the anxiety you're still carrying from those experiences that can no longer upset and derail you. Now would be an excellent moment to do so.

You can learn to be lucky. It's not a mystical force you're born with, but a habit you can develop. How? For starters, be open to new experiences, trust your gut wisdom, expect good fortune, see the bright side of challenging events, and master the art of maximizing serendipitous opportunities. For more help, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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I know a dyke punk witch who loves to rub up against Hasidic Jews in the New York subway when she's menstruating. I know a mischief-maker who sneaked gobs of bacon fat into the broccoli and carrot stir-fry he cooked for his vegetarian friends.

While I'm entertained by the hijinks of these two tricksters, I have more respect for people who mess with their own totems and taboos -- like my anarchist acquaintance who disturbed his fellow agitators by burning his prized black flag in front of them.
Catch my drift? It's more aesthetically pleasing to violate your own damn dogmas, not your neighbor's. Try it.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

To prepare for her role in the film The Help, actress Jessica Chastain forced herself to gain 15 pounds. It was tough, because she normally follows a very healthy diet. The strategy that worked best was to ingest a lot of calorie-heavy, estrogen-rich ice cream made from soybeans. To be in alignment with current cosmic rhythms, it would make sense for you to fatten yourself up, too, Virgo -- metaphorically speaking, that is. I think you'd benefit from having more ballast, more gravitas. You need to be sure you're well-anchored and not easy to push around. It's nearly time to take an unshakable stand for what you care about most.

Somewhere there's a treasure that has no value to anyone but you, and a secret that's meaningless to everyone except you, and a frontier that harbors a revelation only you would know how to exploit. Why not go in search of those things? For inspiration, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Tantric sex practitioners say an artful lover never makes love the same way twice.

Similarly, chanteuse Billie Holiday believed a good singer should never sing a song the same way twice. If you use all the same phrasing and melody, she said, you're failing your art.

The only Zen master we know -- whose name we can't tell you because she changes it every week, and we haven't heard the latest one—likes to quote the ancient Greek philosopher Heraclitus: "You cannot step into the same river twice, for fresh waters are ever flowing in upon you."

Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh has the last word: "Thanks to impermanence, everything is possible."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

In a famous Monty Python sketch, a Hungarian tourist goes into a British tobacconist's store to buy cigarettes. Since he doesn't speak English, he consults a phrase book to find the right words. "My hovercraft is full of eels," he tells the clerk, who's not sure what he means. The tourist tries again: "Do you want to come back to my place, bouncy bouncy?" Again, the clerk is confused. In the coming week, Libra, I foresee you having to deal with communications that are equally askew. Be patient, please. Try your best to figure out the intentions and meanings behind the odd messages you're presented with. Your translating skills are at a peak, fortunately, as are your abilities to understand what other people -- even fuzzy thinkers -- are saying.

When they say "Be yourself," which self do they mean? Certainly not the self that wants to win every game and use up every resource and stand alone at the end of time on a mountain of pretty garbage. So which self is it? For guidance, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Nothing primes your ecstatic skill better than invoking and expressing thanks. So consider the possibility of celebrating regular Gratitude Fests. During these orgies of appreciation, you could confer praise and respect on the creatures, both human and otherwise, that have played seminal roles in inspiring you to become yourself. Who teaches and helps you? Who sees you for who you really are? Who nudges you in the direction of your fuller destiny and awakens you to your signature truths? Who loves you brilliantly?
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

There are modern Chinese painters who use oil paints on canvas to create near-perfect replicas of famous European masterpieces. So while the genuine copy of Van Gogh's "Starry Night" is worth over $100 million, you can buy an excellent copy on the Internet for less than $100. If you're faced with a comparable choice in the coming week -- whether to go with a pricey original or a cheaper but good facsimile, I suggest you take the latter. For your current purposes, you just need what works, not what gives you prestige or bragging rights.

Take inventory of the extent that "No" dominates your life. Notice how often you say or think: 1. "That's not right." 2. "I don't like that." 3. "I don't agree with that." 4. "They don't like me." 5. "I'm not very good." 6. "That should be different from what it is." For help in retraining yourself to say "Yes!" at least 51% of the time, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Jungian analyst Arnold Mindell explores the relationship between mind and body. He thinks you can achieve optimal physical health if you're devoted to shedding outworn self-images. In his book The Shaman's Body, he says, "You have one central lesson to learn -- to continuously drop all your rigid identities. Personal history may be your greatest danger."

Kate Bornstein, author of Gender Outlaw: On Men, Women and the Rest of Us, agrees. Raised as a boy, she later became a woman, but ultimately renounced gender altogether. "I love being without an identity," she says. "It gives me a lot of room to play around."

What identities would be healthy, even ecstatic, for you to lose? Describe the fun you'd have if you were free of them.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

"It is a tremendous act of violence to begin anything," said Sagittarian poet Rainer Maria Rilke. "I am not able to begin. I simply skip what should be the beginning." I urge you to consider trying that approach yourself, Sagittarius. Instead of worrying about how to launch your rebirth, maybe you should just dive into the middle of the new life you want for yourself. Avoid stewing interminably in the frustrating mysteries of the primal chaos so you can leap into the fun in full swing.

How's your fight for freedom going? Are you making progress in liberating yourself from your unconscious obsessions, bad habits, and conditioned responses? For assistance and inspiration, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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I swear the strange woman standing near me at Los Angeles' Getty Museum was having an erotic experience as she gazed upon van Gogh's Irises. She was not touching herself, nor was anyone else. But she was apparently experiencing waves of convulsive delight, as suggested by her rapid breathing, shivering muscles, fluttering eyelids, and sweaty forehead.

Fifteen minutes later, I saw her again in front of Jean-Honoré Fragonard's The Fountain of Love. She was only slightly more composed. In a friendly voice, I said, "This stuff really moves you, doesn't it?" "Oh, yeah," she replied, "I've not only learned how to make love with actual flowers and clouds and fountains, I can even make love with paintings of them."

Do you have any interest in mastering the method in this maestro's madness? Where will you begin?
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

The Golden Gate Bridge spans the place where San Francisco Bay meets the Pacific Ocean. It wasn't easy to build. The water below is deep, wind-swept, beset with swirling currents, and on occasion shrouded with blinding fog. Recognizing its magnificence, the American Society of Civil Engineers calls the bridge one of the modern Wonders of the World. Strange to think, then, that the bridge was constructed between 1933 and 1937, during the height of the Great Depression. I suggest you make it your symbol of power for the coming weeks, Capricorn. Formulate a plan to begin working toward a triumph in the least successful part of your life.

Assume that your drive to experience pleasure isn't a barrier to your spiritual growth, but is in fact essential to it. Proceed on the hypothesis that cultivating joy can make you a more ethical and compassionate person. Imagine that feeling good has something important to teach you every day. For inspiration in practicing this approach, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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While putting on your shirt or blouse some morning, fasten the top button in the second hole, the second button in the third hole, and so on all the way down. For the rest of the day, preserve this dishevelment with all your composure intact, even in the face of odd stares and snide comments. If anyone says, "Hey, your shirt's buttoned wrong," reply calmly, "No, it isn't. I buttoned it this way on purpose."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

It's an excellent time for you to get an entourage -- or if you already have one, to expand it. For that matter, it's a perfect moment for you to recruit more soldiers to help you carry out your plot to overthrow the status quo. Or to round up more allies for your plans to change the course of local history. Or to gather more accomplices as you seek to boldly go where you have never gone before. So beef up your support system. Boost the likelihood that your conspiracy will succeed.

"Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show." So begins Charles Dickens' novel David Copperfield. I'd like to inspire you to write a story of your own that begins like that. For help, tune into your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Mythology is replete with tales of substances that can be both curative or harmful, depending on how they are obtained and used. The ancient Greeks believed that Asclepius, founder of medicine, possessed vials of Medusa's blood. "With what had been drawn from the veins of her left side," Robert Graves notes, "he could raise the dead; with what had been drawn from her right side, he could destroy instantly."

What has been a comparable substance or influence in your own life?
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

If you expand your concept of what you're capable of, you will receive a specific offer to move up a notch. If you perform your duties with intensified care and grace, you will be given new responsibilities that catalyze your sleeping potential. The universe doesn't always act with so much karmic precision, with such sleek, efficient fairness, but that's how it's working in your vicinity right now. Here's one more example of how reasonable the fates are behaving: If you resolve to compete against no one but yourself, you will be shown new secrets about how to express your idiosyncratic genius.

I invite you to keep a running list of all the ways life delights you and helps you and energizes you. Describe everyday miracles you take for granted . . . the uncanny powers you possess . . . the small joys that occur so routinely you forget how much they mean to you . . . the steady flow of benefits bestowed on you by people you know and don't know. What works for you? What makes you feel at home in the world? For inspiration in this noble effort, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Somewhere in the world is a tree that has been struck by lightning in such a way that the scorch marks reveal your initials. Locate that tree.

Somewhere in the world there is a treasure that has no value to anyone but you, and a secret that is meaningless to everyone except you, and a frontier that possesses a revelation only you know how to exploit. Go in search of those things.

Somewhere in the world there is a person who could ask you the precise question you need to hear in order to catalyze the next phase of your evolution. Do what's necessary to run into that person.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.