I know a woman who claims on her Facebook page that she speaks four languages: English, Elvish, Mermish, and Parseltongue. (For those of you who don't read Tolkien or Harry Potter, Elvish is the language of the elves, Mermish of the mermaids and mermen, and Parseltongue of the serpents.) My Facebook friend probably also knows Pig Latin, baby talk, and glossolalia, although she doesn't mention them. I'd love for you to expand your mastery of foreign tongues, Pisces, even if it's just one of the above -- and the coming weeks and months will be an excellent time to begin. You will have a greater capacity for learning new ways to talk than you have since childhood. Halloween costume suggestion: a bilingual bisexual ambidextrous expert in reciting tongue twisters.

Would you like to hear me say some more about your ever-evolving destiny? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Write the following on a piece of red paper and keep it under your pillow. "I, [put your name here], do solemnly swear on this day, [put date here], that I will devote myself for a period of seven days to learning my most important desire. No other thought will be more uppermost in my mind. No other concern will divert me from tracking down every clue that might assist me in my drive to ascertain the one experience in this world that deserves my brilliant passion above all others."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.