I found this unusual classified ad in a small California newspaper. "Wanted: Someone to travel backwards in time with me. This is not a joke. You must be unafraid to see the person you used to be, and you've got to keep a wide-open mind about the past -- I mean more wide-open than you have ever been able to. I have made this trip twice before, and I don't expect any danger, but there may be a bit of a mess. Please bring your own 'cleaning implements,' if you know what I mean." As crazy as it sounds, Gemini, I'm thinking you'd be the right person for this gig. The astrological omens suggest you'll be doing something similar to it anyway.

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Thank your mother for the pain she endured while birthing you. For three minutes on the first Friday of every month, close your eyes and imagine yourself riding a wild horse through a cemetery. Fantasize that your so-called "dark side" is sweet and creamy.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.