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Horoscopes by Rob Brezsny


Week of July 28th, 2011

♌ LEO

(July 23-August 22)
During my years as a singer in rock bands, I've had a theatrical approach to performing. On some occasions, I arrive on stage from the back of the club. Dressed in leather and rags and witchdoctor finery, with a rainbow of fake eagle feathers splayed from my coiffure, I climb into a grocery cart, stand up like a politician giving the V for Victory sign with my outstretched arms, and have my bandmates wheel me through the crowd. I highly recommend that you arrange to make an equally splashy entrance in the near future, Leo. Picture yourself arriving at your workplace or classroom or favorite cafe in resplendent glory, maybe even carried on a litter or throne (or in a grocery cart) by your entourage. It would be an excellent way to get yourself in rapt alignment with this week's flashy, self-celebratory vibes.


You're got more strength and intelligence than you realize. For help in accessing those untapped inner resources, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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May you eat an unfamiliar dessert in a strange land at least once every three years.

May you wake up to salsa music one summer morning and start dancing while you're still half-­asleep.

May you spray-paint Rilke poems as graffiti on highway overpasses.

May you mix stripes with plaids, floral patterns with checks, and yellowish-green with brownish-purple.

May you learn to identify by name 20 flowers, 15 trees, 10 clouds and one extrasolar planet.

May you put a bumper sticker on your car or bike that says, "My god can kick your god's ass!"

If you bury your face in your tear-stained pillow and beg God to please send you your soul mate, may you not slur your words in such a way that they sound like "cell mate."

May you dream of taking a trip to the moon in a gondola powered by firecrackers and wild swans.

May you actually kiss the earth now and then.

May you find many good excuses to say, as physicist Niels Bohr once did, "Your theory is crazy, but it's not crazy enough to be true."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.