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Horoscopes by Rob Brezsny


Week of July 14th, 2011

♑ CAPRICORN

(December 22-January 19)
I've got two bits of information for you late bloomers out there; two inspirational messages to quell your worry about how long everything seems to be taking to unfold for you. First comes this fact: While some oak trees begin growing acorns after two decades, many don't produce a single acorn until they're 40 or even 50 years old. Your second message is from poet Robert Bly: "I know a lot of men who are healthier at age 50 than they've ever been before, because a lot of their fear is gone." Keep the faith, Capricorn -- and continue your persistent efforts.


You can learn to be lucky. It's not a mystical force you're born with, but a habit you can develop. How? For starters, be open to new experiences, trust your gut wisdom, expect good fortune, see the bright side of challenging events, and master the art of maximizing serendipitous opportunities. For more help, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the coming week. You can also still hear your long-term preview for the rest of 2011. Get exhilarated!

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
Confounding lessons and delightful shocks have been increasing in frequency during the recent past and will continue to do so in the foreseeable future. In light of that fact, you may want to find some new ways to express your amazement. Clichés like "Jesus H. Christ!" or "Holy crap!" or "What the fuck?!" may not be sufficient to capture the full impact of the aha! moments.

To get you launched in the right direction, I'll suggest a few fresh exclamations. They're not designed to become tried-and-true replacements for the lazy phrases you're using now, but are rather meant to jog your imagination and inspire you to conjure up a constantly changing variety of ever-fresh invocations. Now see how these roll off your tongue: "Great Odin's raven!" "Radical lymphocytes!" "Cackling whacks of jibber-jabber!" "Frosty heat waves!" "Panoramic serpentine!"
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.