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Horoscopes by Rob Brezsny
♈ ARIES
(March 21-April 19)
Want to go further in exploring the Great Mystery that is your life? I discuss the possibilities for the week ahead in your Expanded Audio Horoscope.
I'm also still offering a MID-YEAR PREVIEW -- an audio report on YOUR LONG-TERM DESTINY from now through JANUARY 2012.
To hear my LONG-TERM AUDIO FORECAST for YOUR LIFE in the next six months, simply log in through the main page, and then click on the link "Long Term Forecast for Second Half of 2011." The cost is $6.
What are your plans for the rest of the year? Could you use some more help in mapping out your dreams and schemes? Maybe you can accomplish more than you think between now and January 2012. Tune in.
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Devote yourself to your heart's desire with unflagging shrewdness. Make it your top priority. Let no lesser wishes distract you. But consider this, too. You may sabotage even your worthiest yearning if you're maniacal in your pursuit of it.
Bear in mind the attitude described by Clarissa Pinkola Estes in her book Women Who Run with the Wolves: "All that you are seeking is also seeking you. If you sit still, it will find you. It has been waiting for you a long time."
Speculate on what exactly that would look like in your own life. Describe how your heart's desire has been waiting for you, seeking
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
♉ TAURUS
(April 20-May 20)
Want to go further in exploring the Great Mystery that is your life? I discuss the possibilities for the week ahead in your Expanded Audio Horoscope.
I'm also still offering a MID-YEAR PREVIEW -- an audio report on YOUR LONG-TERM DESTINY from now through JANUARY 2012.
To hear my LONG-TERM AUDIO FORECAST for YOUR LIFE in the next six months, simply log in through the main page, and then click on the link "Long Term Forecast for Second Half of 2011." The cost is $6.
What are your plans for the rest of the year? Could you use some more help in mapping out your dreams and schemes? Maybe you can accomplish more than you think between now and January 2012. Tune in.
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For over two decades, Peter Jouvenal worked as a journalist and cameraman who filmed war-torn hot spots, including Iraq in the Gulf War and Afghanistan during the Soviet invasion. He eventually retired from that gig and bought a restaurant in Kabul. He has few regrets, but one came after the fall of the Taliban in 2001.
While exploring the organization's deserted safe houses, he happened upon a place where Osama bin Laden and his wife had recently lived. Among the items the couple left behind was one of her bras. In retrospect Jouvenal realized he should have pocketed the exotic piece of lingerie; a tabloid newspaper would have paid him a fortune for it. But because he had spent his entire career dealing with more mainstream news media that sought more respectable evidence, the idea didn't even occur to him until much later.
Was there ever a time when you were in such a deep trance, enthralled by your habits and belief system, that you failed to notice a valuable anomaly that popped up? How can you train yourself to be so alert that such a blunder won't happen again?
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
♊ GEMINI
(May 21-June 20)
Want to go further in exploring the Great Mystery that is your life? I discuss the possibilities for the week ahead in your Expanded Audio Horoscope.
I'm also still offering a MID-YEAR PREVIEW -- an audio report on YOUR LONG-TERM DESTINY from now through JANUARY 2012.
To hear my LONG-TERM AUDIO FORECAST for YOUR LIFE in the next six months, simply log in through the main page, and then click on the link "Long Term Forecast for Second Half of 2011." The cost is $6.
What are your plans for the rest of the year? Could you use some more help in mapping out your dreams and schemes? Maybe you can accomplish more than you think between now and January 2012. Tune in.
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Imagine that you have been relieved of your responsibilities for a given time. They will be taken care of by people you trust. You won't have to work to make money during this grace period, but will be given all you need. Nor will you have to clean your house, wash your clothes, or buy and make your food. Now here's the big question: What will you do now that you are free to do anything you like?
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
♋ CANCERIAN
(June 21-July 22)
Want to go further in exploring the Great Mystery that is your life? I discuss the possibilities for the week ahead in your Expanded Audio Horoscope.
I'm also still offering a MID-YEAR PREVIEW -- an audio report on YOUR LONG-TERM DESTINY from now through JANUARY 2012.
To hear my LONG-TERM AUDIO FORECAST for YOUR LIFE in the next six months, simply log in through the main page, and then click on the link "Long Term Forecast for Second Half of 2011." The cost is $6.
What are your plans for the rest of the year? Could you use some more help in mapping out your dreams and schemes? Maybe you can accomplish more than you think between now and January 2012. Tune in.
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According to Jewish legend, there are in each generation 36 righteous humans who prevent the rest of us from being destroyed. Through their extraordinary good deeds and their love of the divine spark, they save the world over and over again. They're not famous saints, though. They go about their business anonymously, and no one knows how crucial they are to our well-being.
Might you be one of the 36? As a temporary experiment, act as if you are.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
♌ LEO
(July 23-August 22)
Want to go further in exploring the Great Mystery that is your life? I discuss the possibilities for the week ahead in your Expanded Audio Horoscope.
I'm also still offering a MID-YEAR PREVIEW -- an audio report on YOUR LONG-TERM DESTINY from now through JANUARY 2012.
To hear my LONG-TERM AUDIO FORECAST for YOUR LIFE in the next six months, simply log in through the main page, and then click on the link "Long Term Forecast for Second Half of 2011." The cost is $6.
What are your plans for the rest of the year? Could you use some more help in mapping out your dreams and schemes? Maybe you can accomplish more than you think between now and January 2012. Tune in.
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Your addiction is obstructing you from your destiny, and yet it's also your ally.
What?! How can both be true?
On the downside, your addiction diverts your energy from a deeper desire that it superficially resembles. For instance, if you're an alcoholic, your urge to get loaded may be an inferior substitute for and a poor imitation of your buried longing to commune with spirit.
On the upside, your addiction is your ally, because it dares you to get strong and smart enough to wrestle free of its grip; it pushes you to summon the uncanny willpower necessary to defeat the darkness within you that saps your ability to follow the path with heart.
(P.S. Don't tell me you have no addictions. Each of us is addicted to some sensation, feeling, thought, or action, if not to an actual substance.)
Extol your sublime, painful addiction -- celebrate it to death. Ride it, spank it, kiss it, whip it.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
♍ VIRGO
(August 23-September 22)
Want to go further in exploring the Great Mystery that is your life? I discuss the possibilities for the week ahead in your Expanded Audio Horoscope.
I'm also still offering a MID-YEAR PREVIEW -- an audio report on YOUR LONG-TERM DESTINY from now through JANUARY 2012.
To hear my LONG-TERM AUDIO FORECAST for YOUR LIFE in the next six months, simply log in through the main page, and then click on the link "Long Term Forecast for Second Half of 2011." The cost is $6.
What are your plans for the rest of the year? Could you use some more help in mapping out your dreams and schemes? Maybe you can accomplish more than you think between now and January 2012. Tune in.
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Attention please. This is your ancestors speaking. We've been trying to reach you through your dreams and fantasies, but you haven't responded. That's why we've commandeered this space. So listen up. We'll make it brief. You're at a crossroads analogous to a dilemma that has baffled your biological line for six generations. We ask you now to master the turning point that none of us have ever figured out how to negotiate. Heal yourself and you heal all of us. We mean that literally. Start brainstorming, please.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
♎ LIBRA
(September 23-October 22)
Want to go further in exploring the Great Mystery that is your life? I discuss the possibilities for the week ahead in your Expanded Audio Horoscope.
I'm also still offering a MID-YEAR PREVIEW -- an audio report on YOUR LONG-TERM DESTINY from now through JANUARY 2012.
To hear my LONG-TERM AUDIO FORECAST for YOUR LIFE in the next six months, simply log in through the main page, and then click on the link "Long Term Forecast for Second Half of 2011." The cost is $6.
What are your plans for the rest of the year? Could you use some more help in mapping out your dreams and schemes? Maybe you can accomplish more than you think between now and January 2012. Tune in.
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See how far you can spit a mouthful of beer
Pick blackberries naked in the pouring rain
Scare yourself with how beautiful you are
Stage a slow-motion water balloon fight
Pretend your wounds are exotic tattoos
Sing anarchist lullabies to lesbian trees
Plunge butcher knives into accordions
Commit a crime that breaks no laws
Sip the tears of someone you love
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
♏ SCORPIO
(October 23-November 21)
Want to go further in exploring the Great Mystery that is your life? I discuss the possibilities for the week ahead in your Expanded Audio Horoscope.
I'm also still offering a MID-YEAR PREVIEW -- an audio report on YOUR LONG-TERM DESTINY from now through JANUARY 2012.
To hear my LONG-TERM AUDIO FORECAST for YOUR LIFE in the next six months, simply log in through the main page, and then click on the link "Long Term Forecast for Second Half of 2011." The cost is $6.
What are your plans for the rest of the year? Could you use some more help in mapping out your dreams and schemes? Maybe you can accomplish more than you think between now and January 2012. Tune in.
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To create a pearl, an oyster needs an aggravating parasite inside its shell. It builds layers of calcium carbonate around the invader, gradually fabricating the treasure. How long does it take from the initial provocation to the finished product? Five years for a pearl of average size, and as many as 10 years for a big one.
Our questions for you: How many years have you been engaged in the process of transforming your irritant into a masterpiece? How many more years do you think you still have to go?
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
♐ SAGITTARIUS
(November 22-December 21)
Want to go further in exploring the Great Mystery that is your life? I discuss the possibilities for the week ahead in your Expanded Audio Horoscope.
I'm also still offering a MID-YEAR PREVIEW -- an audio report on YOUR LONG-TERM DESTINY from now through JANUARY 2012.
To hear my LONG-TERM AUDIO FORECAST for YOUR LIFE in the next six months, simply log in through the main page, and then click on the link "Long Term Forecast for Second Half of 2011." The cost is $6.
What are your plans for the rest of the year? Could you use some more help in mapping out your dreams and schemes? Maybe you can accomplish more than you think between now and January 2012. Tune in.
*
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Ariel was going through a hard time. She'd been weaning herself from a painkiller she'd taken while recovering from surgery. Her cat ran away, and there was a misunderstanding at work. One night while at a nightclub with her friend Leila, she spied her ex-boyfriend kissing some woman. Meltdown ensued. Ariel fled the club and ran sobbing into the street, where she hurled her shoes on top of a passing bus.
Leila retrieved her and sat her down on a bench. "Because up until now you've displayed such exemplary grace in the face of chaos," Leila said, "I'm giving you a free Crazy Pass. It gives you a karma-free license to temporarily lose your mind." This compassionate humor helped Ariel feel more composed. The rest of the night she partied with elegant savagery, achieving major relief and release without hurting herself.
Now I'm awarding you, too, a free Crazy Pass. How will you use it?
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
♑ CAPRICORN
(December 22-January 19)
Want to go further in exploring the Great Mystery that is your life? I discuss the possibilities for the week ahead in your Expanded Audio Horoscope.
I'm also still offering a MID-YEAR PREVIEW -- an audio report on YOUR LONG-TERM DESTINY from now through JANUARY 2012.
To hear my LONG-TERM AUDIO FORECAST for YOUR LIFE in the next six months, simply log in through the main page, and then click on the link "Long Term Forecast for Second Half of 2011." The cost is $6.
What are your plans for the rest of the year? Could you use some more help in mapping out your dreams and schemes? Maybe you can accomplish more than you think between now and January 2012. Tune in.
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Think about your relationship to human beings who haven't been born yet. What might you create for them to use? How can you make your life a gift to the future? Can you not only help preserve the wonders we live amidst, but actually enhance them? Keep in mind this thought from Lewis Carroll: "It's a poor sort of memory that only works backward."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
♒ AQUARIUS
(January 20- February 18)
Want to go further in exploring the Great Mystery that is your life? I discuss the possibilities for the week ahead in your Expanded Audio Horoscope.
I'm also still offering a MID-YEAR PREVIEW -- an audio report on YOUR LONG-TERM DESTINY from now through JANUARY 2012.
To hear my LONG-TERM AUDIO FORECAST for YOUR LIFE in the next six months, simply log in through the main page, and then click on the link "Long Term Forecast for Second Half of 2011." The cost is $6.
What are your plans for the rest of the year? Could you use some more help in mapping out your dreams and schemes? Maybe you can accomplish more than you think between now and January 2012. Tune in.
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For years, I lived 13 miles from the top of Mt. Tamalpais, one of the highest peaks in the San Francisco Bay Area. Every day I gazed at it from afar through my window or while riding my bike in the hills, marveling as it glided through its ever-shifting relationship with the sky and seasons. It was a remote yet familiar beacon, an awe-inspiring touchstone against which I could measure my own undulating rhythms.
Eventually I moved to a new home at the foot of Mt. Tam. I felt as if I'd become part of it -- was embedded in its protective and majestic aura. It was no longer an objective gauge, but rather an intimate tone and texture in my subjective experience of myself.
Risk a comparable shift, from being there to being here; from outside to inside; from strength absorbed at a distance to power felt up close.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
♓ PISCES
(February 19-March 20)
Want to go further in exploring the Great Mystery that is your life? I discuss the possibilities for the week ahead in your Expanded Audio Horoscope.
I'm also still offering a MID-YEAR PREVIEW -- an audio report on YOUR LONG-TERM DESTINY from now through JANUARY 2012.
To hear my LONG-TERM AUDIO FORECAST for YOUR LIFE in the next six months, simply log in through the main page, and then click on the link "Long Term Forecast for Second Half of 2011." The cost is $6.
What are your plans for the rest of the year? Could you use some more help in mapping out your dreams and schemes? Maybe you can accomplish more than you think between now and January 2012. Tune in.
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Notice how you feel as you speak the following: "The strong, independent part of me resisted the embarrassing truth for a long time, but I finally came to accept that I'm someone who craves vast amounts of love. Ever since I surrendered to this need, it doesn't nag me all the time, as it used to. In fact, it feels comforting, like a source of sweetness that doesn't go away. I never thought I'd say this, but I've come to treasure the feeling of having a voracious yearning to be loved."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
Listen to Rob's Expanded Audio Horoscopes, updated weekly.
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