To convey my vision of how best to proceed in the coming week, I'll offer the following metaphorical scenario: Imagine that you are not a professional chef, but you do have a modicum of cooking skills. Your task is to create a hearty, tasty soup from scratch without the benefit of a recipe. You will need a variety of ingredients, but on the other hand you don't want to just throw in a welter of mismatched ingredients without regard for how they will all work together. To some degree you will have to use a trial-and-error approach, sampling the concoction as it brews. You will also want to keep an open mind about the possibility of adding new ingredients in the latter stages of the process. One more thing: The final product must not just appeal to you. You should keep in mind what others would like, too.

Would you like to hear more about the hidden factors influencing your life? Do you want to uncover the secrets you've been hiding even from yourself? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
A golden eagle with a seven-foot wingspan shot down out of the overcast sky and dived at my friend Maura's pet cockatoo, which was perched on the branch of an oak tree not 30 feet from her back door. Five of us watched with alarm from the outdoor table where we were sipping tea. We leaped up and began howling, hoping to scare the giant predator away. I ran to grab a baseball bat that Maura's son had left lying near the tree.

Then the unexpected happened. The eagle did not attack the cockatoo, but settled down peacefully beside it. Nor did the cockatoo flee. The two sat there together like old friends for about 10 minutes before the bigger bird flew away.

Are you the eagle or the cockatoo?
*
The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

Many artists want "to aim for the biggest, most obvious target, and hit it smack in the bull's eye," says Brian Eno, a Taurus genius renowned for his innovative music. He prefers a different approach. He'd rather "shoot his arrow" wherever his creative spirit feels called to shoot it, then paint the target around the place where it lands. That's why his compositions don't resemble anyone else's or fit into any traditional genre -- it's Brian Eno-like music. Can I talk you into trying a similar strategy in the coming weeks and months, Taurus? I'd love to see you create a niche for yourself that's tailored to your specific talents and needs.

Do you wish you could get more clarity about the foggy, ambiguous situations you're dealing with? Want more help in exploring the Great Mystery that is your life? I discuss your coming week in greater depth in your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
"Is it bad to live without a hell?" poet Pablo Neruda asks in The Book of Questions. Let's add these queries to his: Is it dangerous to live without the awakening force that an enemy provides? Is it naive to think you can achieve great success without the driving motivation that comes from thinking about ideas you hate?

Consider the issue from another angle. Dentists love tooth decay. Treating cavities provides them with a steady income. Likewise, exterminators are dependent on termites, lawyers need crime, and priests crave sinners. Lots of people have symbiotic connections with nasty stuff. In fact, isn't it true that most of us nurture our feelings for the things we love to despise and fear?

What's your favorite poison or adversary? Assume that your exposure to pronoia is changing you in ways that will require you to update your relationship with it. Speculate on how you'll go about this task.
*
The preceding oracle comes from my new book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

When World War I ended in 1918, the victorious nations demanded crushing financial reparations from the loser, Germany. It took 92 years, but the remaining $94 million of the debt was finally paid last October. I hope this story serves as an inspiration to you, Gemini. If entities as notoriously inflexible as governments can resolve their moldering karma, so can you. In the next few weeks, I'd love to see you finally clean up any messes left over from your old personal conflicts.

Do you want further explorations of the intriguing twists and turns of your personal evolution? Would you like help in solving the riddles that confuse you? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
Do you have a negative opinion of clouds? Are you inclined to regard them as symbols of gloom and malaise, interruptions in what you wish would always be clear blue sky?

If so, I'll ask you to revise your view. Consider the fact that in Chinese mythology, there are xiangyun, or "lucky clouds" that are harbingers of great blessings. Deities may even ride on them for pleasure. Among the Zuni Indians, the monster known as the Cloud Eater was feared because he devoured clouds that might bring replenishing rain. And modern meteorologists know that white, fluffy cumulus clouds are signs that fair weather is on the way.

Armed with these ideas, go out in search of your own personal lucky clouds.
*
The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

I know how secretive you Cancerians can be because I'm one of your tribe. Sometimes the secrecy is a bit neurotic, but more often it serves the purpose of sheltering your vulnerable areas. I'm also aware of how important it is for you to be self-protective. No one is better than you at guarding your goodies, ensuring your safety, and taking care of your well-being. I would never shame you for expressing these talents and I would never ask you to downplay them. Having said that, though, I want to make sure that in the coming weeks they don't interfere with you getting the blessings you deserve. It's crucial that you allow yourself to be loved to the hilt. You simply must let people in far enough so they can do that.

Need more help in figuring out the questions life is asking you? Crave more support in your efforts to build your courage? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
I give thanks for the dented rusty brown and gray 1967 Chevy 10 pick-up truck that my neighbor parks askew on the shoulder of the road near my house. Its messy beauty snaps me back to sanity when my own perfectionism threatens to de-soul me, or when all the shiny, sleek, polished things of the world are on the verge of hypnotizing me into believing that only they should be considered attractive.

Are there equivalent triggers in your life?
*
The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

With a fortune of $27 billion, business tycoon Larry Ellison is the sixth richest person in the world. His monumental sense of self-importance is legendary. One of his colleagues says, "The difference between God and Larry is that God does not believe he is Larry." Ellison seems to be what astrologers call an unevolved Leo -- an immature soul whose ego is a greedy, monstrous thing. Evolved Leos, on the other hand, are very different. Are you one? If so, you do a lot of hard work on your ego. You make sure that in addition to it being strong, it's beautiful and elegant. It's not just forceful; it's warm and generous. It gets things done, but in ways that bless those who come in contact with it. For you evolved Leos, this is Celebrate Your Ego Week.

What fresh blessings will life bring you? What questions should you be asking? To explore the ripening trends further, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
Some people feel polluted when they look at porn; others when they eat Pringles and Twinkies. Personally, I experience a sense of violation after being exposed to celebrity gossip. And yet, if I've learned anything about how to maintain a healthy relationship with purity, it's that a fanatical adherence to it is as dangerous as a compulsive rejection of it. This will be especially true for you as you practice the art of pronoia. I urge you, therefore, to rebel cagily now and then against your urge to be a perfectly nice perpetrator of goodness and beauty and truth and justice.

Here's one method that might work: Use sacred sarcasm to motivate your allies to cooperate more with life's benevolent conspiracy. For instance, you might say the following to a certain female friend, hoping it will prod her to swear off self-punishing behavior forever: "You sure honored your ancestors and left an inspiring legacy for your descendants during the month you spent courting that alcoholic womanizer."

Or say something like this to a person who has not been asking for enough in return for her gifts: "No doubt you impressed the gods and earned a heap of karmic credit for all the free work you gave away to that megalomaniac who ripped you off so brilliantly."
*
The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

Seventy-five percent of all adults confess they would like to have sex in the woods at least once in their lives, and yet only 16 percent say they have actually enjoyed that thrill. If you're one of the 59 percent who would like to but haven't, the coming weeks will be an excellent time to make it happen. Your capacity for pleasure in wild places will be at a peak, as will your courage for exotic adventures. In fact, I suggest that between now and May 21 you consider carrying out three fantasies that have been marinating in your imagination for many moons.

Want to explore this chapter of your life story even further? Dig deeper? Push harder? Consider tuning in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
"Keep exploring what it takes to be the opposite of who you are," suggests psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, author of the book Creativity: Flow and the Psychology of Discovery and Invention. This advice is one of his ideas about how to get into attunement with the Tao, also known as being in the zone.

How would you go about being the opposite of who you are? Try it and see if it drives you into a state of euphoria.
*
The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

It's time for the Big Squeeze. All the contradictions in your life are coming up for review. You will be asked to deal more forthrightly with enigmas you've been avoiding, and you will be invited to try, try again to unravel riddles you've been unable to solve. Does all that sound a bit daunting? It could be. But the end result should be evocative, highly educational, and maybe even exhilarating. The scintillating play of opposites may caress you with such intensity that you'll experience what we could refer to as a metaphysical orgasm.

You're got more strength and intelligence than you realize. For help in accessing those untapped inner resources, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
When playing the card game known as bridge, you're fortunate if you're dealt no cards of any particular suit. It allows you to use the trump suit to win tricks.

Identify a situation in your own life where a lack of a certain resource can work to your advantage, allowing you to be a free agent, an X-factor, a wild card; freeing you to capitalize on loopholes that aren't normally available; giving you access to luck that comes to you through what you're missing.
*
The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

In the coming weeks, I would love to see you get excited about many different people, places, animals, and experiences. And I hope you will shower them with your smartest, most interesting blessings. Do you think you can handle that big an outpouring of well-crafted passion? Are you up for the possibility that you might blow your cover, lose your dignity, and show how much you care? In my opinion, the answer is yes. You are definitely ready to go further than ever before in plumbing the depths of your adoration for the privilege of being alive.

How are you going to change what needs to be changed and accept what needs to be accepted? To get some support from me, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
I was never the class clown. I am not a troubled but devilishly handsome wastrel living on a trust fund. I've never beaten up anyone, have steadfastly not aspired to write like Raymond Carver, and have never played strip Scrabble with a junkie violinist on a leaky waterbed in a Key West penthouse. There are so many things I am not and will never be, and I'm glad I know about them. It helps me stay focused on exactly who I am. What about you? Who aren't you? Fantasize about all the paths you will never take. Put it in writing.
*
The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

Here's poet James Schuyler: "It's time again. Tear up the violets and plant something more difficult to grow." In my opinion, that's almost the right advice for you these days. I'd prefer it if you didn't actually rip out the violets to make room for the harder-to-grow blooms. Would it be possible to find a new planting area that will allow you to keep what you already have in the original planting area? One way or another, I think you really should give yourself a challenging new assignment.

Sometimes it's a challenge to try to figure out what's important and what's not important. If you'd like more of my input, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
Do you have an unconscious belief that the forces of evil are loud, vigorous, and strong, while good is quiet, gentle, and passive? Gather evidence that contradicts this irrational prejudice.

Are you secretly suspicious of joy because you think it's inevitably rooted in wishful thinking and a willful ignorance about the true nature of reality? Expose these suspicions as superstitions that aren't grounded in any objective data you can actually prove.

Do you fear that when you're in the presence of love and beauty you tend to become softheaded, whereas you're likely to feel smart and powerful when you're sneering at the ugliness around you? As an antidote, for a given amount of time, say a week or a month or a year, act as if the following hypothesis were true: that you're more likely to grow smarter when you're in the presence of love and beauty.
*
The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

"Dear Dr. Brezsny: For five years my wife and I have been married but still have made no children. We have consulted uncountable physicians with no satisfying result. Please predict a happy outcome for our troubles. When will the stars align with her womb and my manhood? She: born December 31, 1983 in Chakdaha, India. Me: born January 7, 1984 in Mathabhanga, India. - Desperate for Babies." Dear Desperate: I'm happy to report that you Capricorns have entered a highly fertile period. It's already going strong, and will culminate between May 16 to May 23. I suggest you jump on this sexy opportunity. You couldn't ask for a better time to germinate, burgeon, and multiply.

How well is your imagination working these days? Could it use a boost? A prod? A jolt of inspiration? Try tuning in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
My friend Riley was the first member of her family to attend college. None of her hardscrabble Irish forebears had ever pursued higher education. In her senior year, Riley began having nightmares of her relatives trying to stop her from finishing school. In one recurring dream, her great-grandfather burned all her textbooks. In another, a mob of aunts and uncles tackled her and held her down as she tried to get to class.

Despite these psychic obstacles, Riley persevered in her studies and eventually got her diploma. The week after graduation, she had another dream: A host of her ancestors came to her in the form of a a great choir singing songs in praise of her success.

Riley's psychotherapist speculated that the dream meant she had not only overcome the inertia of her heritage, but had also healed an ancient wound of her family going back many generations. Is there a similar accomplishment you're capable of? What is it?
*
The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

"Welcome home, beautiful!" I hope you hear those words or at least experience those feelings very soon. In my astrological opinion, you need to intensify your sense of belonging to a special place or community. You've got to grow deeper roots or build a stronger foundation or surround yourself with more nurturing -- or all of the above. And that's not all. As you bask and thrive in your enhanced support system, you also deserve to feel better appreciated for the wonderful qualities you're working so hard to develop in yourself. Ask and you shall receive.

Want more clues? Need further insight? For more evocative questions and pithy suggestions about your unfolding destiny, check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
Is the universe inherently friendly to humans? The answer's got to be either "yes, definitely" or "no, not really." It can't be in between. Whatever you may be inclined to believe, you've got to agree that there's no way to know which is true with absolute certainty.

So then isn't it stupid and self-destructive to live your life as if the universe is unfriendly? Doing so tends to cast a pall over everything. But if on the other hand you proceed on the hypothesis that the universe is friendly, you're inclined to interpret everything that occurs as a gift, however challenging it may be to figure out its purpose at first.
*
The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

Whatever you have been trying to say, it's time to say it stronger and clearer. You can no longer afford to hope people will read your mind or guess what you mean. Your communications must be impeccable and irresistible. A similar principle holds true for the connections and alliances you've been working to ripen. It's time to raise your intensity level -- to do everything you can to activate their full potentials. Starting today, you'd be crazy to tolerate shaky commitments, either from yourself or others. Be sharp and focused and unswerving, Pisces -- keen and candid and to the point.

How much do you want to know about your life? How far do you dare to go in your quest for self-mastery? For more insight into your intriguing fate, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
"The seed cannot sprout upwards without simultaneously sending roots into the ground," says an Egyptian proverb. Keep that thought in mind as you head into your next phase of growth. What part of you needs to deepen as you rise up? What growth needs to unfold in the hidden places as you gravitate toward the light? How can you go about balancing and stabilizing your ascension with a downward penetration?
*
The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.