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Horoscopes by Rob Brezsny

Week of March 31st, 2011


(August 23-September 22)
If you develop symptoms like a dry mouth, twitching eyebrows, sweaty palms, or goose bumps in places you don't usually get them, you may be suffering from a malady called anatidaephobia, which is the fear that you are being watched by a duck. So please, Virgo, try to avoid places where ducks congregate. APRIL FOOL! I lied. The truth is, you will not contract an exotic affliction like anatidaephobia any time soon. You may, however, notice yourself experiencing waves of seemingly irrational elation; you may frequently feel like something oddly good is about to happen. Why? Because according to my analysis of the omens, you are more likely than usual to be watched by secret admirers, future helpers, interesting strangers, and your guardian angel.

Would you like to hear more about the hidden factors influencing your life? Do you want to uncover the secrets you've been hiding even from yourself? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.


"As soon as you concern yourself with the 'good' and 'bad' of your fellows," said Morihei Ueshiba, founder of the martial art of aikido, "you create an opening in your heart for maliciousness to enter. Testing, competing with, and criticizing others weaken and defeat you."

Make that your hypothesis. Proceed according to the theory that you can feed your strength and power and freedom by accepting other people just the way they are. Assume that one of the surest ways to be happy and successful is to refrain from judging anyone.
The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.