If you're a straight man, this would be a good time to ask Halle Berry on a date. If you're a straight woman, you'll have a better-than-usual chance to get Jake Gyllenhaal to go out with you. If you're a gay man, you might want to try your luck with Adam Lambert, and if you're a lesbian, I encourage you to propose a rendezvous with Portia de Rossi. APRIL FOOL! I lied. It's never a good time to try to hook up with unavailable dream girls or dream guys. I will say this, though: You now have extraordinary power to turn yourself into a better partner, ally, and lover. And that suggests it's well within your means to cultivate a more exciting kind of intimacy.

Do you wish you could get more clarity about the foggy, ambiguous situations you're dealing with? Want more help in exploring the Great Mystery that is your life? I discuss your coming week in greater depth in your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Thomas Paine was a zealous revolutionary. He wrote incendiary pamphlets that helped ignite and sustain America's struggle for independence from Great Britain in the 18th century.

Early in his life, however, he worked making women's girdles, which are among the most constrictive and oppressive garments in the history of the world. Was there a connection between his two gigs? Maybe his later struggle for liberation was an unconscious atonement for his youthful labors.

Instigate a Thomas Paine-like boomerang. Think of something you did in the past that constricted your spirit or squeezed other people's possibilities. Use that memory as a launching pad as you unleash a brilliant stroke in the name of abundance and expansiveness.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.