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Horoscopes by Rob Brezsny


Week of December 16th, 2010

♈ ARIES

(March 21-April 19)
I vividly remember seeing singer Diamanda Galas in concert. Though classically trained, she didn't confine herself to mellifluous melodies and elegant tones. She was a whirlwind of elemental sound, veering from animalistic bellows to otherworldly chants to operatic glossolalia. It was all very entertaining, and often enjoyable. The skill with which she shaped the sound as it escaped her body was prodigious. My companion and I agreed that "she made your ears convulse and your eyes writhe and your skin prickle -- but in a good way." How would you feel about inviting some similar experiences into your life, Aries? The astrological omens suggest this would be an excellent time to seek the rowdy healing that only disciplined wildness can provide.


Would you like to hear me say some more about your ever-evolving destiny? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE. Meanwhile, to get a taste of what my audio offerings are like, listen to my free podcast, Beauty and Truth Lab.

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In Tibetan Buddhism's "Four Dignities of the Warrior's Path," courage and ferocity are absent. In fact, the qualities regarded as essential for being a warrior have nothing in common with the training regimens of Marines or football players or lobbyists.

The first dignity is often translated in English as meekness, but that word doesn't convey its full meaning. "Relaxed confidence" is a more precise formulation -- a humble feeling of being at home in one's body.

Perkiness, or irrepressible joy, is the second dignity. To develop it, a warrior cultivates the habit of seeing the best in everything and works diligently to avoid the self-indulgence of cynicism.

The third is outrageousness. The warrior who embodies this dignity loves to experiment, is not addicted to strategies that have been successful in the past, and has a passionate objectivity that's free of the irrelevant emotions of hope and fear.

The fourth dignity is inscrutability, or a skill at evading the pigeonholes and simplistic definitions that might limit the warrior's inventiveness while fighting for his or her moral vision.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♉ TAURUS

(April 20-May 20)
Here's a haiku-like poem by Cor van den Heuvel: "the little girl / hangs all the ornaments / on the nearest branch." My comment: It's cute that the girl crams all the decorations onto one small section of the tree, and maybe her parents will keep them that way. But I recommend that you take a different approach as you work to beautify and enliven your environment. Spread out your offerings; distribute your blessings equally; make sure that everything in need of invigoration gets what it requires.


Need more help deciphering the riddles and enigmas that are fueling your amazing story? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE. Meanwhile, to get a taste of what my audio offerings are like, listen to my free podcast, Beauty and Truth Lab.

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Here's one of the Beauty and Truth Laboratory's favorite rules for evaluating the information that comes our way: Assume that it's a blend of truth and falsehood and every shade of half-truth in between. That applies equally to stories in The New York Times and to the raving spiels of the homeless Gulf War vet who hangs out at the local post office.

While I suspect that the Times has a much higher proportion of accurate data, I can never be sure what distortions are embedded in its reports. Its unconscious devotion to pop nihilism means that it routinely ignores vast realms of human experience. And there are odd days when the homeless guy's rants spit out gems of poetic wisdom that give me the chills and change the way I understand the world.

Moral of the story: Useful messages may come from anywhere. I'm more likely to recognize them if I'm simultaneously curious and discriminating.
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The preceding oracle comes from my new book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♊ GEMINI

(May 21-June 20)
This is a good time to go in search of any secrets you've been hiding from yourself. I suggest you also try to track down the "missing links" that aren't really missing but rather are neglected. My advice is similar for the supposedly "lost treasure" you're wondering about: Clues about its whereabouts are lying around in full view for anyone who is innocent enough to see them. P.S. Being uncomplicated isn't normally your strong suit, but this is one of those rare times when you'll have an aptitude for it.


No one knows you better than you do, but maybe I can help you dig up even more self-knowledge. Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE. Meanwhile, to get a taste of what my audio offerings are like, listen to my free podcast, Beauty and Truth Lab.

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To achieve what the Zen Buddhists call "beginner's mind," you dispense with all preconceptions and enter each situation as if seeing it for the first time. "In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities," wrote Shunryu Suzuki in his book Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind, "but in the expert's there are few."

As much as I love beginner's mind, though, I advocate an additional discipline: cultivating a beginner's heart. That means approaching every encounter imbued with a freshly invoked wave of love that is as pure as if you're feeling it for the first time.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♋ CANCERIAN

(June 21-July 22)
In the TV comedy series "Arrested Development," Buster Bluth was an adult character who was a bit over-attached to his mother. It seemed to have to do with the fact that he lingered in her womb for 11 months before agreeing to be born. The obstetrician claimed "there were claw marks on her uterus." I want to be sure you don't make a comparable misstep in the coming weeks, Cancerian. It really is time for you to come out and play. Ready or not, leave your protective sanctuary and leap into the jangly, enchanting tumult.


Wouldn't you love to learn more about who you really are? What better adventure is there than learning about your soul's code? For more hints, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE. Meanwhile, to get a taste of what my audio offerings are like, listen to my free podcast, Beauty and Truth Lab.

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To be the best pronoiac explorer you can be, I suggest you adopt an outlook that combines the rigorous objectivity of a scientist, the "beginner's mind" of Zen Buddhism, the "beginner's heart" of pronoia, and the compassionate friendliness of the Dalai Lama. Blend a scrupulously dispassionate curiosity with a skepticism driven by expansiveness, not spleen.

To pull this off, you'll have to be willing to regularly suspend your brilliant theories about the way the world works. Accept with good humor the possibility that what you've learned in the past may not be a reliable guide to understanding the fresh phenomenon that's right in front of you. Be suspicious of your biases, even the rational and benevolent ones. Open your heart as you strip away the interpretations that your emotions might be inclined to impose.

"Before we can receive the unbiased truth about anything," wrote my teacher Ann Davies, "we have to be ready to ignore what we would like to be true."

At the same time, don't turn into a hard-ass, poker-faced robot. Keep your feelings moist and receptive. Remember your natural affection for all of creation. Enjoy the power of tender sympathy as it drives you to probe for the unimaginable revelations of every new moment. "Before we can receive the entire truth about anything," said Ann Davies, "we have to love it."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♌ LEO

(July 23-August 22)
I have imaginary friends who help me. And yes, they sometimes even give me ideas for your horoscopes. Are you OK with that? Among the many other perks my secret buddies provide, they show me where my cell phone and car keys are when I've misplaced them -- a prime sign of their practical value. What's your current status in regards to imaginary friends, Leo? Do you even have any? This would be an excellent time to seek them out and put them to work. In fact, I encourage you to do anything that might attract the input of undiscovered allies, behind-the-scenes collaborators, mysterious guidance, and divine assistance.


I hope the oracle above provides you with the inspiration you need to do what you've got to do and change what needs to be changed. But if you need more clues, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE, where I go further in exploring your mysteries. Meanwhile, to get a taste of what my audio offerings are like, listen to my free podcast, Beauty and Truth Lab.

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Receptivity is not a passive state. Nor is it a blank emptiness, waiting around for whatever happens to come along. In urging you to cultivate receptivity, I don't mean you should become a lazy do-nothing bereft of goals, reacting blindly to whatever life throws in front of you.

Receptivity is a robust readiness to be surprised and moved, a vigorous intention to be awake to everything you can't control. When you're receptive in the pronoiac style, you have strong ideas and a powerful will and an eagerness to disseminate your unique blessings, but you're also animated by the humble certainty that you have a lot to learn.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♍ VIRGO

(August 23-September 22)
Might there be a message for you in the mist on the window? Can you find a clue to the next phase of your destiny by scanning a newspaper that the wind blows against your leg as you're walking? Be alert for the undertones, Virgo. Tune in to the subtexts. Scan the peripheries for the future as it reveals itself a little early. You never know when the hidden world might be trying to slip you a tip. You should be alert for the deeper storylines weaving themselves just below the level where the supposedly main plot is unfolding.


For more help in understanding your relationship with the game of life, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE. Meanwhile, to get a taste of what my audio offerings are like, listen to my free podcast, Beauty and Truth Lab.

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Most people associate innocence with naivete. Conventional wisdom regards it as belonging to children and fools and rookies who lack the sophistication or experience to know the tough truths about life.

But the Beauty and Truth Lab recognizes a different kind of innocence. It's based on an understanding that the world is always changing, and therefore deserves to be seen fresh every day. This alternative brand of innocence is fueled by an aggressive determination to keep clearing one's imagination of all preconceptions.

"Ignorance is not knowing anything and being attracted to the good," wrote Clarissa Pinkola Estés in Women Who Run with the Wolves. "Innocence is knowing everything and still being attracted to the good.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♎ LIBRA

(September 23-October 22)
A musician who records under the name of Shamantis took Justin Bieber's silly pop tune "U Smile," and slowed it down 800 percent. The new work was a 35-minute-long epic masterpiece of ambient electronica that The New York Times praised as "ghostly" and "oceanic." More than two million people tuned in to hear it on the Internet. Might there be a comparable transformation in your future, Libra? From an astrological perspective, it's prime time for you to transform a pedestrian exercise into a transcendent excursion, or a trivial diversion into an elegant inspiration, or a meaningless entertainment into a sublime learning opportunity.


Would you like further inspiration as you scheme and dream to make the most of life's sometimes puzzling opportunities? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE. Meanwhile, to get a taste of what my audio offerings are like, listen to my free podcast, Beauty and Truth Lab.

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"Objection, evasion, joyous distrust, and love of irony are signs of health. Everything absolute belongs to pathology." So proclaimed Friedrich Nietzsche in Beyond Good and Evil. Note well that he used the adjective "joyous" to describe distrust, not "cynical" or "grumbling" or "sour." The key to remaining vital and strong while questioning every so-called absolute is to cultivate a cheerful, buoyant mood as you do it.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♏ SCORPIO

(October 23-November 21)
More than a few wildlife films use deception to fool the audiences into thinking they're watching animals in the wild. So says Chris Palmer, a producer of many such films. "One classic trick involves hiding jellybeans in carcasses," he told New Scientist. "If you see a bear feeding on a dead elk in a film, you can be pretty sure that the bear was hired from a game farm and is looking for sweets hidden in the carcass by the film-makers." I suspect you will encounter a metaphorically comparable ruse or switcheroo sometime soon, Scorpio. It'll be your job to be an enforcer of authenticity. Be on the lookout for the jellybeans.


What exactly are you looking for? How would you describe the experiences you want more than anything else? It's possible my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE could give you additional help in figuring that out. Meanwhile, to get a taste of what my audio offerings are like, listen to my free podcast, Beauty and Truth Lab.

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Here are three of our deepest spiritual aspirations, which we invite you to steal for your own use: 1. to develop the capacity to thrive in the midst of raging contradictions; 2. to be discerning as we protect ourselves from people's flaws while at the same time being generous as we celebrate their beauty; 3. to refrain from dividing the world into two groups, those who help and agree with us and those who don't.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♐ SAGITTARIUS

(November 22-December 21)
My favorite news source, The Onion, reported on a proposed law that would prohibit marriage between any two people who don't actually love each other . Couples whose unions are rooted in mutual antipathy or indifference are of course protesting the plan, insisting that they have as much of a right to wed as those who care for each other deeply and treat each other tenderly. Whether or not this proposal becomes a formal part of the legal system, Sagittarius, I urge you to embrace it. In fact, I'll go so far as to ask you not to do anything at all unless you are at least somewhat motivated by love. The coming months will be a time when your success will depend on your ability to rise to new heights of compassion, romance, eros, tenderness, empathy, and affection.


Want to hear more about the subconscious factors and hidden forces that may be influencing your life? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE. Meanwhile, to get a taste of what my audio offerings are like, listen to my free podcast, Beauty and Truth Lab.

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Visualize yourself being able to recognize the raw truth about the people you care about. Imagine that you can see how they already embody the beauty their souls' codes have promised as well as how they still fall short of embodying that beauty.

Picture yourself being able to make them feel appreciated even as you inspire them to risk changes that will activate more of their souls' codes.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♑ CAPRICORN

(December 22-January 19)
Let's imagine we're fifth-century monks living in the land that today is known as the south of France. And let's say we decide we're going to build a chapel in a place that has long been a pagan shrine dedicated to the moon goddess Selene. Shouldn't we consider the possibility that our new house of worship may be imbued with the vibes of the previous sanctuary? Won't our own spiritual aspirations be colored by those of the people who for hundreds of years poured forth their devotions? Now shift your attention to the present day, and apply our little thought experiment to what's going on in your life. Tune in to the influences that may be conditioning the new thing you'd like to create.


To further explore the ripening blessings and interesting challenges in your life, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE. Meanwhile, to get a taste of what my audio offerings are like, listen to my free podcast, Beauty and Truth Lab.

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Plant orchids on a strip-mined hill.

Imagine you have a guardian angel who looks like Malcolm X.

Teach an animal to dance.

Hire a puppet troupe to reenact your life story using marionettes in Renaissance costumes.

Make believe you are the ocean king or thunder queen.

Improvise a fresh bedtime story for someone you love.

Put on an inflatable sumo wrestler costume and play a bagpipe as badly as possible.

Watch TV with your third eye.

Sip holy water blessed by a smart teenage girl.

Bear in mind that you are the Chosen One, and so is everyone else.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♒ AQUARIUS

(January 20- February 18)
I would like to steal your angst, Aquarius. I fantasize about sneaking into your room tonight, plucking your nightmares right out of the heavy air, and spiriting them away. I imagine sidling up to you on a crowded street and pickpocketing your bitterness and frustration -- maybe even pilfering your doubts, too. I wouldn't keep any of these ill-gotten goods for myself, of course. I wouldn't try to profit from them in any way. Instead, I would donate them to the yawning abyss, offer them up to the stormy ocean, or feed them to a bonfire on a primal beach. P.S. Even though I can't personally accomplish these things, there is now a force loose in your life that can. Are you willing to be robbed of things you don't need?


Need more whacks applied to your mental blocks? More caresses bestowed upon your growing edge? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE. Meanwhile, to get a taste of what my audio offerings are like, listen to my free podcast, Beauty and Truth Lab.

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The dangers of excessive politeness are perfectly exemplified in the medieval legend of Parzival, Arthur's purest knight. His quest for the Holy Grail leads him to a castle where he is welcomed by a wounded lord. At dinner, a mysterious bowl captivates Parzival's attention. He's dying to know more about it, but he holds his tongue. His training as a knight has taught him that it's uncourteous to express too much curiosity.

Tragically, he doesn't realize that he has arrived at the very place where his quest could be satisfied. The wounded lord is actually the Fisher King, the marvelous bowl is the Grail, and he is being presented with a magical test. The test consists of a simple task: to ask about the bowl. Because Parzival fails to do so, the king does not reveal the secret and does not give him the Grail.

The next morning, Parzival wakes up to find the castle empty, and he leaves having missed the very opportunity he wanted most.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

♓ PISCES

(February 19-March 20)
In 2011, I bet that memory won't play as big a role in your life as it has up until now. I don't mean to say that you will neglect or forget about the past. Rather, I expect that you will be less hemmed in by the consequences of what happened way back when. You'll be able to work around and maybe even transcend the limitations that the old days and the old ways used to impose on you. Your free will? It will be freer than maybe it has ever been. Your creative powers will override the inertia of how things have always been done.


Where do you want to go? Who do you want to be? For more clues, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE. Meanwhile, to get a taste of what my audio offerings are like, listen to my free podcast, Beauty and Truth Lab.

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"I've been practicing radical authenticity lately," my friend Brandon told me. "I'm revealing the blunt truth about unmentionable subjects to everyone I know. It's been pretty hellish -- no one likes having the social masks stripped away -- but it's been ultimately rewarding."

"I admire your boldness in naming the currents flowing beneath the surface," I replied, "but I'm curious as to why you imply they're all negative. To practice radical authenticity, shouldn't you also express the raw truth about what's right, good, and beautiful? Shouldn't you unleash the praise and gratitude that normally go unspoken?"
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.


Listen to Rob's Expanded Audio Horoscopes, updated weekly.



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