In last May's national election, none of Britain's three political parties got a majority. For a while, the country had no leader. Eventually, the rightwing Conservatives and the leftwing Liberal Democrats formed a weird coalition, making Conservative David Cameron the Prime Minister. Some people had mixed feelings about the deal. "I said it was like a cross between a bulldog and chihuahua," London's mayor announced, "but what I meant is it will have a fantastic hybrid vigor." I suspect that a certain merger you have in the works, Virgo, could yield similar feelings. Halloween costume suggestion: half-bulldog, half-chihuahua; part hummingbird, part-crocodile; equal mix of Gandhi and Napoleon.

Factual information and reasonable thinking alone are not sufficient to guide you through life’s labyrinthine tests. You need and deserve regular deliveries of uncanny revelation. One of your inalienable rights as a human being should therefore be to receive mysteriously useful omens on a regular basis. In this spirit, I offer you the free weekly horoscopes you read here. If you ever want more, and think it's worth paying for, try my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES or daily text message 'scopes.

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In the Greek epic The Odyssey, Odysseus and his men become stranded on an island belonging to the sorceress Circe, who uses her magic to transform the men into pigs. Later, though, she changes them back into men -- only they're younger and taller and better-looking than before they were pigs.

Tell an analogous story from your own life: an experience in which you were turned into a pig for a while, and became a more robust version of yourself when the spell was broken.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.