My Sagittarius friend Lisa dreamed she was at a party with Jon Carroll, a writer she admires. In the dream, she managed to join a circle of people with whom he was conversing. Twice she tried to insinuate her way into the conversation with comments she thought were flattering to Jon. But he ignored her. Finally she opened an oversized picture book she had with her and showed him a striking photo of a huge nest containing a speckled, glittery dragon's egg. This caught his eye. He took her by the arm to a table where they pored over this fascinating image together. Learn from Lisa's dream, Sagittarius. To captivate the attention of the people you're interested in, appeal not to their vanity but to their imagination.

If you'd like to get an idea of what my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES are like, tune in to my free podcast, "Fear Versus Intuition." It's a meditation about the difference between your fearful fantasies and your authentic, accurate intuitions. My approach there has a close resemblance to the style of my weekly EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES.

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The Mystic Chaos Wizard Helper says: Close one eye. Tap your forehead twice with your left palm. Think of a memory in which you found something you'd lost. Lick your lips and murmur the words "Love Whisperer." Insert your middle finger in the "Delight-O-Meter" slot. Keep your finger there until the "Passion Lamp" turns on. Flash. Flash. Flash. Thank you. Now write the first thing that comes into your heart's mind.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.