Have you added some bulk and stability to your foundation any time recently, Aries? Have you grown your roots deeper and asked for more from your traditional sources and recommitted yourself to your primal vows? I hope so, because this is a perfect time, astrologically speaking, to strengthen your link to everything that sustains you. You have a sacred duty to push harder for access to the stuff that builds your emotional intelligence and fuels your long-range plans.

Grace emerges in the ebb and flow, not just the flow. The waning reveals a different blessing than the waxing. Where are you in the great cycle of your life? For inspiration in figuring it all out, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the coming week. You can also still hear your long-term preview for the rest of 2010. Get educated!

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Where exactly does happiness come from? That's the riddle posed by David Meyers and Ed Diener in their article, "The Science of Happiness," published in The Futurist magazine. I invite you to write your own answers to their question. Map out the foundations of your own science of happiness. Get serious about defining what makes you feel good. What specific experiences arouse your deepest gratification? Physical pleasure? Seeking the truth? Being a good person? Contemplating the meaning of life? Enjoying the fruits of your accomplishments? Purging pent-up emotion?
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

I like the way you've been contradicting yourself, Taurus. I appreciate your ability to be inconsistent, paradoxical, and upside-down. It has allowed you to wriggle free of the rut you had been stuck in. You've stirred the affections of people who had been frustrated about your narrow focus. Yes, it's true that you have also sown a bit of confusion in a situation that had formerly been clear and concise, and that may have rankled the sticklers. But in my opinion, this is a fertile, healthy confusion that will ultimately lead to an unexpected breakthrough.

Whether it's your time to ferment in the shadows or sing in the sun, fresh power to transform yourself is on the way. Life always delivers the creative energy you need to change into the new thing you must become. For more help in understanding it all, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the coming week. You can also still hear your long-term preview for the rest of 2010. Get excited!

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Whatever you choose to focus your attention on, you will get more of it. If you often think of everything you lack and how sad you are that you don't have it, you will tend to receive prolific evidence of how true that is. As you obsess on all the ways your life is different from what you wish it would be, you will become an expert in rousing feelings of frustration and you will attract experiences that assist you in rousing frustration.

If, on the other hand, you dwell on the good things you have already had the privilege to experience, you will expand your appreciation for their blessings, which in turn will amplify their beneficent impact on your life. You will also magnetize yourself to receive further good things, making it more likely that they will be attracted into your sphere. At the very least, you will get in the habit of enjoying yourself no matter what the outward circumstances are.
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The preceding oracle comes from my new book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

"We're all in 'sales,' selling our personalities, our accomplishments, our charms." That's a quote from Richard Grossinger's new book 2013. I share his view of human nature. Is there any interaction between people that doesn't involve a bit of hustling? The subtext of every encounter includes at least one of the following: 1. "I want you to like me." 2. "I'm trying to get you to believe I am who I say I am." 3. "I'd really like you to see how interesting and important and unique I am." Given the fact that this is a ubiquitous phenomenon, there's no need to be shy or embarrassed or secretive about it. That's especially true for you these days. So get out there and sell yourself, Gemini. With brazen innocence and relaxed enjoyment, show the world who you are and why you matter.

You can learn to be lucky. It's not a mystical force you're born with, but a habit you can develop. How? For starters, be open to new experiences, trust your gut wisdom, expect good fortune, see the bright side of challenging events, and master the art of maximizing serendipitous opportunities. For more help, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the coming week. You can also still hear your long-term preview for the rest of 2010. Get exhilarated!

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Evil is boring. The universe is friendly. Life is on your side. Joy is your birthright.
Cynicism is idiotic. Fear is a bad habit. Despair is lazy. In fact, all of creation wants you to succeed.
Act as if the universe is a prodigious miracle created for your amusement and illumination. Assume that secret helpers are working behind the scenes to assist you in turning into the gorgeous masterpiece you were born to be. Retrain your senses and intellect so you're able to perceive the fact that life always gives you exactly what you need, exactly when you need it.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

Have you ever observed the rising moon with such a steady gaze that you've actually seen it move? Have you ever sat yourself down in front of a rose bud during the hour it exploded into full bloom? Those experiences have resemblances to a slow-motion burst of graceful growth that's unfolding in your own sphere. I hope you have the patience to give it your full attention, because that way it's more likely to express its potential completely. To enhance your chances of nurturing the subtle magic, remember and ruminate on the images your nightly dreams give you.

Somewhere there's a treasure that has no value to anyone but you, and a secret that's meaningless to everyone except you, and a frontier that harbors a revelation only you would know how to exploit. Why not go in search of those things? For inspiration, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the coming week. You can also still hear your long-term preview for the rest of 2010. Get educated!

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George prayed every day for three years to win the lottery, but never heard from God or hit the jackpot.
Finally, God woke him up in the middle of the night. "George, is that you who's been praying so hard to win the lottery?" the Supreme Being boomed.
"Yes, Lord, desperately!"
God paused for a moment, then said thoughtfully, "George, I'll tell you what. I want you to meet me halfway. Buy a ticket, OK?"
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

I'm not necessarily saying that you have superhuman levels of courage these days, Leo, but you do have more than usual. What's even more important for the task at hand is the fact that you have an exceptional capacity for identifying the fantasies that frighten you and finding fresh and practical ways to deal with them. That's why I say that you now have an excellent opportunity to achieve a major victory over your fears . . . to outwit them, outflank them, and even dissolve them. To get started on this glorious quest, chant the following ten times: "I am a crafty, compassionate warrior who finds amusement in every challenge."

When they say "Be yourself," which self do they mean? Certainly not the self that wants to win every game and use up every resource and stand alone at the end of time on a mountain of pretty garbage. So which self is it? For guidance, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the coming week. You can also still hear your long-term preview for the rest of 2010. Get excited!

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Is it really healthy to have a shrill, 25-words-or-less opinion about everything, as radio and TV talk shows seem to imply? Would anyone mind if now and then you served as a compassionate witness about the hot-button issues? Is it conceivable that you could simply sit on the fence in the midst of the wars of words and beam articulate sympathy at both sides?

Yes, you can. You have the rebellious resourcefulness to be a freedom fighter without hating anyone. Go out and prove it.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

One of my Virgo readers, Mariann Grace, is conducting a research project. It's rooted in two assumptions. The first is an idea of mine: that everyone alive has an inalienable right to a steady supply of fresh omens. The second assumption comes from the writer Angus Stocking: "Always interpret every omen favorably." With these two ideas as her theses, Mariann is testing the following approach: "Interpret absolutely everything that happens as a favorable omen." This would be an excellent game for you to play in the coming week, Virgo. Synchronicities are about to rain down upon you, flood toward you, and bubble up from below. Judging from the astrological configurations, I'd say it really does make sense to regard every one of them as meaningful, useful, and invigorating.

Take inventory of the extent that "No" dominates your life. Notice how often you say or think: 1. "That's not right." 2. "I don't like that." 3. "I don't agree with that." 4. "They don't like me." 5. "I'm not very good." 6. "That should be different from what it is." For help in retraining yourself to say "Yes!" at least 51% of the time, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the coming week. You can also still hear your long-term preview for the rest of 2010. Get exhilarated!

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If you're typical, your natural curiosity was virtually extinguished at an early age by mediocre teachers, boring lessons, and oppressive classrooms. Have you ever wondered what your life would be like if your imagination hadn't been squelched? What interesting adventures might you have sought out if your natural love of learning hadn't been crushed?

Let's launch a quest to undo the damage. Imagine I've handed you an undiploma: your official release from the soul-death of your formal education; the beginning of the healing of your wounded love of learning. What's the first thing you'll do to invoke a steady stream of inspired teachers and invigorating lessons?
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

It's high time to banish the excuses you think you have for not doing your best. There is no longer any valid reason to hide from your true calling or deny yourself more profound happiness. You are ready to see that the supposed "obstacles" to your success are actually instrumental to your success -- prods that will make you so much smarter and stronger that you cannot be defeated by circumstances. Why is this happening now? It's because a force working behind the scenes -- you can imagine it as God or destiny or karma if you like -- is clearing away the illusions that have held you in thrall to false ideas about who you are. If I were you, I'd shout "hallelujah!" as I pinch myself in the butt and pat myself on the head.

How's your fight for freedom going? Are you making progress in liberating yourself from your unconscious obsessions, bad habits, and conditioned responses? For assistance and inspiration, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the coming week. You can also still hear your long-term preview for the rest of 2010. Get excited!

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"Is it bad to live without a hell?" poet Pablo Neruda asks in The Book of Questions. Let's add these queries to his: Is it dangerous to live without an enemy? Is it naive to think you can achieve great success without the driving motivation that comes from having ideas you hate? There are thousands of correct answers to these questions. What are yours?

Consider the issue from another angle. Dentists love tooth decay. Treating cavities provides them with a steady source of income. Likewise, exterminators are dependent on termites, lawyers need crimes, and priests are hungry for sinners. Lots of people have symbiotic connections with nasty stuff. In fact, isn't it true that most of us nurture our feelings for the things we love to despise and fear?

What's your favorite poison or adversary? Assume that your exposure to pronoia is changing you in ways that will require you to update your relationship with it. Speculate on how you'll go about this task.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

For the foreseeable future, it's fine with God (and with Nature, too) if you put all your eggs in one basket -- as long as the basket is well-woven and beautiful to behold. You've also got cosmic permission to forget about all but one of the tempting targets in your field of vision -- as long as the bull's-eye you choose is very worthy of your sacred longing. To sum up, Scorpio, be single-mindedly focused almost to the point of manic obsession -- as long as you're reasonably sure that the object of your devotion is your personal version of the Holy Grail.

Assume that your drive to experience pleasure isn't a barrier to your spiritual growth, but is in fact essential to it. Proceed on the hypothesis that cultivating joy can make you a more ethical and compassionate person. Imagine that feeling good has something important to teach you every day. For inspiration in practicing this approach, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the coming week. You can also still hear your long-term preview for the rest of 2010. Get exhilarated!

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The factor most likely to drive us to addiction or illness is a lack of intimate contact with spirit. We all need a daily dose of vastness. Paradoxically, many of us would also benefit from more microscopic vision. Because we're so deprived of divine connection, we're half-dreaming all the time; our unconscious pining for the eternal source distracts us from the vivid little glories that are splayed out around us. And so we miss the Divine Wow from both directions.

Try this: Prime your connection with spirit by focusing your attention on tones and shapes you usually miss: reflections in windows, the sky between the oak tree's branches, the shadows on the water, the two different emotions in a friend's eyes and mouth.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

In the next few weeks, the odds are higher than usual that you'll inherit an amusement park or a tropical island or a profitable pig farm. There's also a slight chance that you will win a Dutch lottery, find a diamond ring on the sidewalk, or be picked to star in a new reality TV show, "How Would You Use a Gift of Ten Million Dollars?" But what's far more likely than any of those possibilities is that you will be able to capitalize on a legacy whose cash value is hard to estimate. Is there any birthright you've been neglecting to exploit? Any part of your heritage that may be ready to bring you a boost?

"Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show." So begins Charles Dickens' novel David Copperfield. I'd like to inspire you to write a story of your own that begins like that. For help, tune into your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the coming week. You can also still hear your long-term preview for the rest of 2010. Get excited!

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Have you ever had permission to indulge in a marathon of braggadocio? Have you ever gotten an invitation to bluster on endlessly about your own charms without feeling even a touch of guilt or inhibition? I hereby grant you such a license right now.

When you're ready, carry out the exercise called Brag Therapy. Grab a good listener or a recording device, and boast extravagantly about yourself for at least 20 minutes. Expound in exhaustive detail why you're so wonderful and why the world would be a better place if everyone would just act more like you.

Don't be humble or cautious. Go too far. Heap extreme glory on yourself. Brazenly proclaim the fabulous qualities about you that no one has ever fully articulated or appreciated. Don't forget to extol the prodigious flaws and vices that make you so special.

What does this have to do with pronoia? When you audaciously identify your existing gifts, you set yourself up to become a magnet for even greater abundance. In fact, we recommend that you treat yourself to a Brag Therapy session regularly.

To whet your imagination, read an excerpt from the boast of Eric Baer, a participant in a Brag Therapy session I hosted in Milwaukee. "I have opposable thumbs," Eric exulted. "I can read. I breathe all the way through the night even though I'm asleep. I have access to emporiums where I can choose from 25 different brands of toilet paper. I know how to turn food into energy. I live where knuckleheads run everything and yet nothing ever blows up."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

So it turns out that the "blemish" is actually essential to the beauty. The "deviation" is at the core of the strength. The "wrong turn" was crucial to you getting you back on the path with heart. I have rarely seen a better example of happy accidents, Capricorn. You may not realize it quite yet -- although I hope this horoscope is bringing it all into focus -- but you have been the beneficiary of a tricky form of divine intervention. One good way of expressing your gratitude is to share with friends the tale of how you came to see that the imperfections were perfect.

I invite you to keep a running list of all the ways life delights you and helps you and energizes you. Describe everyday miracles you take for granted . . . the uncanny powers you possess . . . the small joys that occur so routinely you forget how much they mean to you . . . the steady flow of benefits bestowed on you by people you know and don't know. What works for you? What makes you feel at home in the world? For inspiration in this noble effort, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the coming week. You can also still hear your long-term preview for the rest of 2010. Get educated!

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Don't make nasty comments about yourself behind your own back.

Do play soccer in bunny slippers at dawn in a supermarket parking lot with a gang of sadomasochistic stockbrokers who've promised to teach you the Balinese monkey chant.

Don't decorate your thigh with a sloppy tattoo of the devil pushing a lawn mower.

Do wear a t-shirt that says, "Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most."

Don't glide into a bar, scout around for the person whose face has the most pain etched in it, and ask that person to come home with you.

Do eat ripe organic strawberries that have been genetically modified and irradiated, and do chain-smoke Marlboros as you peddle your exercise bicycle, and do wander through a garbage dump while listening to Mozart on your iPod.

Don't get hooked on the fantasy that there are only two kinds of people, those who align themselves with the forces of light and those who align themselves with the forces of darkness.

Do start an organization called POMP (Proud Owners of Multiple Personalities), dedicated to erasing negative stereotypes about healthy non-schizophrenics who enjoy being a community of many different selves.

Don't lie on a floor surrounded by wine-stained poetry books, crumpled Matisse prints, abandoned underwear, and half-eaten bowls of corn flakes as you stare up at the ceiling with a mad gaze, muttering gibberish and waving your hands as if swatting away demons.

Do run along the tops of cars during a traffic jam, escaping from bad guys as you make your way to a helicopter that takes you to a spot hovering over an erupting volcano, into which you drop the Buns of Steel video.

Don't put your soul up for auction on eBay.

Do write a cookbook filled with recipes you've channeled from dead celebrities.

If you come upon a lamp with a genie in it, don't wish you had a magic wand.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

Your anger is potentially a valuable resource. At least in theory, it can be a motivating force that gives you the clarity and stamina you need to make constructive changes. But how can you make sure that your anger serves your generous urges? What should you do to keep it from being just a self-indulgent thrash that leads to no productive action? Here's one thing you can do: Express your rage very selectively; don't let it leak all over everything. Here's another thing: Cultivate loads of empathy, joy, and appreciation for beauty. Then when you do unleash your rage, it will be conditioned by love. Now would be an excellent time to try out these ideas.

All of creation loves you very much. Even now, people you know and people you don't know are collaborating to make sure you have all you need to make your next smart move. But are you willing to start loving life back with an equal intensity? The adoration it offers you has not exactly been unrequited, but there is room for you to be more demonstrative. For help in cultivating this approach, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the coming week. You can also still hear your long-term preview for the rest of 2010. Get excited!

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Every fundamentalist divides the world into two camps, those who agree with him and like him and help him, and those who don't. There is only one right way to interpret the world—according to the ideas the fundamentalist believes to be true—and a million wrong ways.

The fundamental attitude of all fundamentalists is to take everything way too seriously and too personally and too literally. Imagination is a sin and a crime. Correct belief is the only virtue. Every fundamentalist is committed to waging war against the imagination unless the imagination is enslaved to his or her belief system.

And here's the bad news: Like almost everyone in the world, each of us has our own share of the fundamentalist virus. It may not be as dangerous to the collective welfare as, say, the fundamentalism of Islamic terrorists or Christian politicians or CEOs who act as if making a financial profit is the supreme good or scientists who deny the existence of the 96 percent of reality imperceptible to the five senses. Our fundamentalism is not as virulent as theirs.

But still: We are infected, you and I, with fundamentalism. What are we going to do about it?

I say we practice taking everything less seriously and less personally and less literally.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

Have you fallen in omnidirectional love these past few weeks? Are you swooning with such reckless splendor that at times you feel like you're swimming in mid-air? By my reckoning, you have an urgent need to be caught up in a vortex of free-form affection. Your receptivity to being tickled and spun around by an almost insane outpouring of libidinous empathy is crucial to your education. If for some reason this has not been the case, please find out what you've been doing to obstruct the boisterously tender feelings the cosmos is aching to fill you up with.

What language do you study at night in your dreams? What is the obvious secret you can't quite see? How could you turn your challenges into daily gifts for yourself? For clues to mysteries like these, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the coming week. You can also still hear your long-term preview for the rest of 2010. Get educated!

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Receptivity is not a passive state. Nor is it a blank, empty waiting around for whatever happens to come along. In urging you to cultivate receptivity, I don't mean you should become a lazy do-nothing bereft of goals, reacting blindly to whatever life throws in front of you. Receptivity is a robust readiness to be surprised and moved; a vigorous intention to be awake to everything you can't control. When you're receptive in the pronoiac style, you have strong ideas and a powerful will and an eagerness to disseminate your unique blessings, but you're also animated by the humble certainty that you have a lot to learn.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.