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Horoscopes by Rob Brezsny
♈ ARIES
(March 21-April 19)
Want to hear more about the subconscious factors and hidden forces that are influencing your life right now? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the coming week.
I'm also still offering a MID-YEAR PREVIEW -- an audio report on YOUR LONG-TERM DESTINY from now through JANUARY 2011.
To hear my LONG-TERM AUDIO FORECAST for YOUR LIFE in the next six months, simply log in through the main page, and then click on the link "Long Term Forecast for Second Half of 2010." The cost is $6.
Who do you want to become between now and January 2011? Where do you want to go and what do you want to do? I'm ready to help you muse about the interesting possibilities. Tune in. You can also listen to your short-term forecast for the coming week by clicking on "This week (June 29, 2010)."
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Improvise a fresh bedtime story for someone you love. Put on an inflatable sumo wrestler costume and play a bagpipe as badly as possible. Watch TV with your third eye.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
♉ TAURUS
(April 20-May 20)
To further explore the ripening challenges and blessings in your life, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the coming week.
I'm also still offering a MID-YEAR PREVIEW -- an audio report on YOUR LONG-TERM DESTINY from now through JANUARY 2011.
To hear my LONG-TERM AUDIO FORECAST for YOUR LIFE in the next six months, simply log in through the main page, and then click on the link "Long Term Forecast for Second Half of 2010." The cost is $6.
What new influences will be headed your way during the second half od 2010? What fresh resources will you be able to draw on? Would you like some guidance as you figure out how to make best use of those influences and resources? Tune in. You can also listen to your short-term forecast for the coming week by clicking on "This week (June 29, 2010)."
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Plant orchids on a strip-mined hill. Sip holy water blessed by a smart teenage girl. Bear in mind that you are the Chosen One, and so is everyone else.
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The preceding oracle comes from my new book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
♊ GEMINI
(May 21-June 20)
Need more whacks applied to your mental blocks? More caresses bestowed upon your growing edge? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the coming week.
I'm also still offering a MID-YEAR PREVIEW -- an audio report on YOUR LONG-TERM DESTINY from now through JANUARY 2011.
To hear my LONG-TERM AUDIO FORECAST for YOUR LIFE in the next six months, simply log in through the main page, and then click on the link "Long Term Forecast for Second Half of 2010." The cost is $6.
How can you conspire with life to create the best possible future for yourself? What well-informed and ingenious approaches can you use to get the most out of the raw materials you're presented with? Tune in. You can also listen to your short-term forecast for the coming week by clicking on "This week (June 29, 2010)."
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Thank your mother for the pain she endured while birthing you. For three minutes on the first Friday of every month, close your eyes and imagine yourself riding a wild horse through a cemetery. Fantasize that your so-called "dark side" is sweet and creamy.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
♋ CANCERIAN
(June 21-July 22)
Where do you want to go? Who do you want to be? For more clues, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the coming week.
I'm also still offering a MID-YEAR PREVIEW -- an audio report on YOUR LONG-TERM DESTINY from now through JANUARY 2011.
To hear my LONG-TERM AUDIO FORECAST for YOUR LIFE in the next six months, simply log in through the main page, and then click on the link "Long Term Forecast for Second Half of 2010." The cost is $6.
As you plunge in to the second half of 2010, would you like to clarify your purpose? Are there fantasies playing at the back of your mind that you'd like to bring fully into your awareness? Tune in. You can also listen to your short-term forecast for the coming week by clicking on "This week (June 29, 2010)."
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When you come home after a day of triumphs, take out the garbage. Dream you're a red-tailed hawk soaring over a shopping mall. Forgive yourself for the blindness that put you in the path of those who betrayed you.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
♌ LEO
(July 23-August 22)
Would you like to hear me say some more about your ever-evolving destiny? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the coming week.
I'm also still offering a MID-YEAR PREVIEW -- an audio report on YOUR LONG-TERM DESTINY from now through JANUARY 2011.
To hear my LONG-TERM AUDIO FORECAST for YOUR LIFE in the next six months, simply log in through the main page, and then click on the link "Long Term Forecast for Second Half of 2010." The cost is $6.
What new influences will be headed your way during the second half of 2010? What fresh resources will you be able to draw on? How can you make best use of these influences and resources? Tune in. You can also listen to your short-term forecast for the coming week by clicking on "This week (June 29, 2010)."
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Visualize two versions of yourself, one male and one female, holding hands as they gaze into a reflection of the moon on a river. Keep an image of a sphinx with you at all times. Imagine you have a guardian angel who looks like Ellen Degeneres.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
♍ VIRGO
(August 23-September 22)
Need more help deciphering the riddles and enigmas that fuel your destiny? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the coming week.
I'm also still offering a MID-YEAR PREVIEW -- an audio report on YOUR LONG-TERM DESTINY from now through JANUARY 2011.
To hear my LONG-TERM AUDIO FORECAST for YOUR LIFE in the next six months, simply log in through the main page, and then click on the link "Long Term Forecast for Second Half of 2010." The cost is $6.
Do you understand just how much power you have to create the life you want to live during the second half of 2010? Are you fully aware of just how much access you have to new resources? Tune in. You can also listen to your short-term forecast for the coming week by clicking on "This week (June 29, 2010)."
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Review in painstaking detail the history of your life, honoring every moment as if you were conducting a benevolent Judgment Day. Forgive yourself of every mistake except one.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
♎ LIBRA
(September 23-October 22)
No one knows you better than you do, but maybe I can help you dig up even more self-knowledge. Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the coming week.
I'm also still offering a MID-YEAR PREVIEW -- an audio report on YOUR LONG-TERM DESTINY from now through JANUARY 2011.
To hear my LONG-TERM AUDIO FORECAST for YOUR LIFE in the next six months, simply log in through the main page, and then click on the link "Long Term Forecast for Second Half of 2010." The cost is $6.
Would you like some inspiration as you muse and wonder about your upcoming adventures during the second half od 2010? Do you long to slip out of your habitual thoughts about your life and get a more transcendent view? Tune in. You can also listen to your short-term forecast for the coming week by clicking on "This week (June 29, 2010)."
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Create a royal crown for yourself out of a shower cap, rubber bands, and light bulbs. Think of the last place on Earth you'd ever want to visit, and visualize yourself having fun there. Say these words and see how they feel: "Ever since I learned to see three sides to every story, I'm finding much better stories."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
♏ SCORPIO
(October 23-November 21)
What better adventure is there than learning about your soul's code? For more hints, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the coming week.
I'm also still offering a MID-YEAR PREVIEW -- an audio report on YOUR LONG-TERM DESTINY from now through JANUARY 2011.
To hear my LONG-TERM AUDIO FORECAST for YOUR LIFE in the next six months, simply log in through the main page, and then click on the link "Long Term Forecast for Second Half of 2010." The cost is $6.
Are you ready to shed your superstitious fears about the future? Would you like to slip into the second half of 2010 armed with an influx of confidence and poise? Tune in. You can also listen to your short-term forecast for the coming week by clicking on "This week (June 29, 2010)."
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Once a year on the night before your birthday, say these words into a mirror: "It's bad luck to be superstitious." Steal lint from dryers in laundromats and use it to make animal sculptures for someone you admire. Fantasize you're the child of divine parents who abandoned you when you were two days old, but who will soon be coming back to reunite with you.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
♐ SAGITTARIUS
(November 22-December 21)
Got enough clues to chew on for now? If you need more, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE, where I go further in exploring your mysteries for the coming week.
I'm also still offering a MID-YEAR PREVIEW -- an audio report on YOUR LONG-TERM DESTINY from now through JANUARY 2011.
To hear my LONG-TERM AUDIO FORECAST for YOUR LIFE in the next six months, simply log in through the main page, and then click on the link "Long Term Forecast for Second Half of 2010." The cost is $6.
What hidden factors will be massaging your destiny during the rest of 2010? Could you use some hints about how to prepare for the adventures awaiting you in the next six months? Tune in. You can also listen to your short-term forecast for the coming week by clicking on "This week (June 29, 2010)."
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Exaggerate your flaws till they turn into virtues. Dream up wilder, wetter, more interesting problems. Change your name every day for a thousand days.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
♑ CAPRICORN
(December 22-January 19)
For more help in understanding your relationship with the game of life, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the coming week.
I'm also still offering a MID-YEAR PREVIEW -- an audio report on YOUR LONG-TERM DESTINY from now through JANUARY 2011.
To hear my LONG-TERM AUDIO FORECAST for YOUR LIFE in the next six months, simply log in through the main page, and then click on the link "Long Term Forecast for Second Half of 2010." The cost is $6.
What will be the story of your life during the rest of 2010? How can you exert your free will to create the adventures that will bring out the best in you, even as you find graceful ways to cooperate with the tides of destiny? Tune in. You can also listen to your short-term forecast for the coming week by clicking on "This week (June 29, 2010)."
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Brag about what you can't do and don't have. Bow down to the greatest mystery you know. Scare yourself with how beautiful you are.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
♒ AQUARIUS
(January 20- February 18)
Would you like further inspiration as you strive to make the most of life's opportunities? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the coming week.
I'm also still offering a MID-YEAR PREVIEW -- an audio report on YOUR LONG-TERM DESTINY from now through JANUARY 2011.
To hear my LONG-TERM AUDIO FORECAST for YOUR LIFE in the next six months, simply log in through the main page, and then click on the link "Long Term Forecast for Second Half of 2010." The cost is $6.
Do you really know how much power you have to create the life you want to live between now and January 2011? Probably not. But I'd like to help you know about that power, and tap into it. Tune in. You can also listen to your short-term forecast for the coming week by clicking on "This week (June 29, 2010)."
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Pretend your wounds are exotic tattoos. Sip the tears of someone you love. Rebel against your horoscope. Play games with no rules. Mock your fears.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
♓ PISCES
(February 19-March 20)
What exactly are you looking for? It's possible my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE could give you additional help in figuring that out.
I'm also still offering a MID-YEAR PREVIEW -- an audio report on YOUR LONG-TERM DESTINY from now through JANUARY 2011.
To hear my LONG-TERM AUDIO FORECAST for YOUR LIFE in the next six months, simply log in through the main page, and then click on the link "Long Term Forecast for Second Half of 2010." The cost is $6.
What are your plans for the rest of the year? Could you use some more help in mapping out your dreams and schemes? Maybe you can accomplish more than you think between now and January 2011. Tune in. You can also listen to your short-term forecast for the coming week by clicking on "This week (June 29, 2010)."
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Teach an animal to dance. Hire a puppet troupe to reenact your life story using marionettes in Renaissance costumes. Make believe you are the ocean king or thunder queen.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
Listen to Rob's Expanded Audio Horoscopes, updated weekly.
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