The website "Nietzsche Family Circus" features collaborations between the sappy family-oriented comic strip "Family Circus" and the austerely portentous wisdom of German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche. Judging from your current astrological omens, I'd say this is a perfect time for you to expose yourself to this stuff. (It's here.) You need to toughen up some of your weepy, sentimental urges and brighten up some of your somber, melancholic tendencies.

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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.