I personally don't believe we're living in the worst of times, although I know many people who do. While there are indeed reasons to despair, our current state of affairs is actually in many ways quite glorious. And our struggles are puny compared to those of the generation that lived through the two World Wars and the Great Depression. Having said that, I think it's fine to believe that civilization is in a terrible mess if it motivates you to shed all your trivial distractions and inessential wishes so as to dedicate yourself to living an exciting, generous life that's rich with love and meaning. Now is a prime time for you, Aries, to dedicate yourself to such a path.

The horoscopes you read here may be all you need from me. But if you'd like a bigger dose of my thoughts about your destiny, try my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES. Each is a 4 to 5 minute meditation about where you are right now. (For a limited time only, I've also got longer forecasts that report on the big picture of your life for 2010.)

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In The Book of Embraces, Uruguayan author Eduardo Galeano writes, "The fishermen of the Colombian coast must be learned doctors of ethics and morality, for they invented the word sentipensante, or 'feeling-thinking,' to define language that speaks the truth."

Describe a time when you pulled off the feat of thinking with your heart and feeling with your head.
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The preceding oracle comes from my new book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. You can hear me read excerpts from the book here.

Throughout 2010, you're most likely to be consistently in the right place at the right time if you cultivate an amused skepticism toward what's in vogue. In fact, I suspect that only one trend will be of any use to you at all. You heard me correctly, Taurus: Of all the fashionable obsessions that may tempt you, just one will be in sweet alignment with your authentic needs. And guess what? Right now happens to be the perfect moment to get hooked up with it.

The horoscopes you read here may be all you need from me. But if you'd like a bigger dose of my thoughts about your destiny, try my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES. Each is a 4 to 5 minute meditation about where you are right now. (For a limited time only, I've also got longer forecasts that report on the big picture of your life for 2010.)

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Here's Bruce Chatwin in The Songlines: "Aboriginal creation myths tell of the legendary totemic beings who had wandered over the continent in the Dreamtime, singing out the name of everything that crossed their path -- birds, animals, plants, rocks, waterholes -- and so singing the world into existence. Any species can be a Dreaming. A virus can be a Dreaming. You can have a chickenpox Dreaming, a rain Dreaming, a desert-orange Dreaming, a lice Dreaming."

Close your eyes and tune in to the song of a Dreaming species of your choice. Either that, or else pretend you can tune in the song of a Dreaming species.
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The preceding oracle comes from my new book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. You can hear me read excerpts from the book here.

When I was lead vocalist in the band Tao Chemical, I sang a tune whose chorus went as follows: "I want the truth / the whole truth / nothing but the truth / I want the truth / Don't beat around the bush." Shortly after we started performing the song, my girlfriend broke up with me. And she felt free -- given what I proclaimed in those lyrics -- to share with me every excruciating detail about her new relationship. It was painful, and I felt tempted to forswear the song and never utter those brave words again. But I was ultimately glad I didn't weaken. To this day, I prefer knowing the full facts. Now I'm recommending to you, Gemini, that you pledge yourself to the same intention in the coming weeks. It should be much easier for you than it initially was for me. Most of the truths rushing in will be interesting and enlivening, with just a little angst mixed in.

The horoscopes you read here may be all you need from me. But if you'd like a bigger dose of my thoughts about your destiny, try my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES. Each is a 4 to 5 minute meditation about where you are right now. (For a limited time only, I've also got longer forecasts that report on the big picture of your life for 2010.)

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Fairy tales are full of characters who suffer loss and hardship for trying to be something they're not. If they ever change their ways and accept the truth about themselves, their luck improves dramatically. It's interesting, then, to contemplate the fact that our culture adores film and TV actors, who get extensive training in pretending to be someone other than who they really are. We nurse a similar obsession with politicians, whose specialty resembles that of actors: Their vocation requires them to dissemble constantly.

Are you one of the enthralled? Do you share our collective entrancement with people who lie about themselves for a living? If so, experiment with what happens if you wean yourself. Try being cautious about exposing yourself to influences that might encourage you to be something you're not.
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The preceding oracle comes from my new book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. You can hear me read excerpts from the book here.

"Jane Austen was the spinster daughter of a clergyman who led an uneventful life," wrote Geoffrey Wheatcroft in The Guardian. "She just happened to write half a dozen flawless masterpieces, which came perfectly formed, not from experience but from imagination." Most of us don't have anything close to the inconceivably potent imagination that Austen possessed. But I believe 2010 will be a year when you can access at least a portion of that wondrous capacity. You'll be able to fantasize about vast possibilities in exquisite detail. You will have great skill at smashing your way free of limiting expectations through the power of your expansive vision. And the coming weeks will be a time when it should all kick into high gear.

The horoscopes you read here may be all you need from me. But if you'd like a bigger dose of my thoughts about your destiny, try my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES. Each is a 4 to 5 minute meditation about where you are right now. (For a limited time only, I've also got longer forecasts that report on the big picture of your life for 2010.)

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In her book Vodou Visions, Sallie Ann Glassman argues that Vodou (the preferred spelling among its practitioners) is an authentic religious tradition worthy of respect. She acknowledges that some of its beliefs may seem unusual. For instance, Vodou's calm, gentle, sweet spirits are not always forces for good, while some of its hot, turbulent, revolutionary spirits are not necessarily bad.

Although not a practitioner of Vodou, Raymond Chandler had some related counsel: "The disease of niceness cripples more lives than alcoholism."

Borrow this meme. Monitor the calm, gentle, sweet spirits in your life for the possibility that they may act as agents of deception or passivity. Be inspired by the creator gods and goddesses of ancient myth, who playfully forged millions of beautiful things using wind, mud, tears, and lightning. Tap into the fiery aspect of your nature that drove you out of your mother's womb and into this world in the hour when you were born.
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The preceding oracle comes from my new book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. You can hear me read excerpts from the book here.

Of all the symbols in the world, the swastika is the most horrendous. As the logo for Hitler's Nazi movement, it will forever smack of evil. But it didn't used to be that way. In many cultures throughout history, from the Greeks to the Hindus to the Native Americans, the swastika was a representation of the sun's path across the sky, and was regarded as highly auspicious, even a good luck charm. Can you think of a more modest equivalent of this phenomenon in your own life, Leo? A formerly wonderful thing that got spoiled somewhere along the way? The coming weeks will be a good time to determine whether you could redeem and rehabilitate it.

The horoscopes you read here may be all you need from me. But if you'd like a bigger dose of my thoughts about your destiny, try my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES. Each is a 4 to 5 minute meditation about where you are right now. (For a limited time only, I've also got longer forecasts that report on the big picture of your life for 2010.)

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"The greatest thing a human soul ever does in this world is to see something," wrote art critic John Ruskin in his book Modern Painters. "To see clearly is poetry, prophecy, and religion, all in one."

Proposed experiment: Lay aside everything you think you know, suspend your reflex to impose your beliefs on every situation you encounter, and behold the world exactly as it is. Assume that by doing so you can change everything you see into a more beautiful version of itself.
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The preceding oracle comes from my new book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. You can hear me read excerpts from the book here.

I need a break from watching you work your psyche to the bone. At least for now, I'm not willing to indulge you in your inclination to do your duty so exhaustively that you suffer. And as much as I admire your drive to get things perfect, I cannot in good conscience encourage you to do that, either. It is therefore with a sense of relief that I counsel you to take at least a week off from the behavior I described. Instead, try playful, messy experiments that are in service to your own needs. Be a freewheeling explorer, a wandering improviser.

The horoscopes you read here may be all you need from me. But if you'd like a bigger dose of my thoughts about your destiny, try my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES. Each is a 4 to 5 minute meditation about where you are right now. (For a limited time only, I've also got longer forecasts that report on the big picture of your life for 2010.)

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Dumb suffering is the kind of suffering you're compulsively drawn back to over and over again out of habit. It's familiar, and thus perversely comfortable. Smart suffering is the kind of pain that surprises you with valuable teachings and inspires you to see the world with new eyes.

While stupid suffering is often born of fear, wise suffering is typically stirred up by love. The dumb, unproductive stuff comes from allowing yourself to be controlled by your early conditioning and from doing things that are out of harmony with your essence. The smart, useful variety arises out of an intention to approach life as an interesting work of art and uncanny game that's worthy of your curiosity.

Come up with two more definitions about the difference between dumb suffering and smart suffering.
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The preceding oracle comes from my new book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. You can hear me read excerpts from the book here.

"Whatever gets in the way of the work," wrote poet Jason Shinder, "is the work." His counsel will serve as a good reminder for you if you meet with obstacles in the coming days. If you ever catch yourself thinking, "Damn! I'd be making such good progress if it weren't for these inconvenient complications," consider the possibility that the inconvenient complications aren't distractions, but rather crucial clues; they're not pains in the assets, but medicinal prods that point the way to the real opportunities.

The horoscopes you read here may be all you need from me. But if you'd like a bigger dose of my thoughts about your destiny, try my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES. Each is a 4 to 5 minute meditation about where you are right now. (For a limited time only, I've also got longer forecasts that report on the big picture of your life for 2010.)

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Traditionally, the Seven Deadly Sins -- actions most likely to wound the soul -- are pride, lust, gluttony, anger, envy, sloth, and covetousness.

But we have formulated a fresh set of soul-­harmers, the Four Foolish Virtues. They are as follows: (1) being analytical to such extremes that you repress your intuition; (2) sacrificing your pleasure through a compulsive attachment to duty; (3) tolerating excessive stress because you assume it helps you accomplish more; (4) being so knowledgeable that you neglect to be curious.

Are you victimized by any of these Four Foolish Virtues? If so, what are you going to do about it?
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The preceding oracle comes from my new book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. You can hear me read excerpts from the book here.

Have you ever watched the TV show "The Office"? If so, you may remember when Darryl from the warehouse was going out with customer service rep Kelly. "You need to access your uncrazy side," he told her at a turning point in their relationship. "Otherwise, maybe this thing has run its course." I'd like to invite you to do the same, Scorpio: Tap into, draw up to the surface, and abundantly express your uncrazy side. I predict that you will have a whole lot of fun if you do, thereby proving that you don't need to be marinating in chaos and torment in order to experience high adventure.

The horoscopes you read here may be all you need from me. But if you'd like a bigger dose of my thoughts about your destiny, try my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES. Each is a 4 to 5 minute meditation about where you are right now. (For a limited time only, I've also got longer forecasts that report on the big picture of your life for 2010.)

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Go to a mirror and play with your face until you create the Fabulous Smirk. Not the Arrogant Smirk or the Vengeful Smirk or the Hateful, Whiny, Passive-Aggressive Smirk. Rather, express the Smirk that Passeth All Understanding. The Wise, Charitable, Forbearing Smirk. The Uber-Smirk that says, "I've figured out what everyone's hiding, and I love them anyway."
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The preceding oracle comes from my new book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. You can hear me read excerpts from the book here.

The game you've been enmeshed in has reached a sticking point, or soon will. I recommend that you call for a suspension of action. If that's not possible, hide from the other players for a while, or jokingly tell them you have to excuse yourself because it's time for your regular bout of cleansing escapism. Then, during the break, scour your brain free of clutter so you can gain a more dispassionate view of your own strategy. I also suggest that you seek the advice of a smart and impartial observer. If all goes well, you'll be able to return to the fray refreshed within ten days.

The horoscopes you read here may be all you need from me. But if you'd like a bigger dose of my thoughts about your destiny, try my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES. Each is a 4 to 5 minute meditation about where you are right now. (For a limited time only, I've also got longer forecasts that report on the big picture of your life for 2010.)

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Sometimes hope is an irrelevant waste of time, even a stupid self-indulgence. Let's say, for instance, that I'm intently hoping that a certain disagreeable person I've got to communicate with won't answer when I call on the phone. That way I can simply leave a message on his voice mail and avoid an unpleasant exchange. But it doesn't matter what I hope. The guy will either answer or not, regardless of what I hope.

But there is another kind of hope that's potentially invigorating. Let's say I hope that we humans will reverse the environmental catastrophes we're perpetrating. Let's say that my hope motivates me to live more sustainably and to inspire others to live more sustainably. Then my hope is a catalyst.

Give two examples from your life about the two kinds of hope.
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The preceding oracle comes from my new book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. You can hear me read excerpts from the book here.

Being scrupulously ethical can be taxing and time-consuming. It involves high levels of ongoing self-examination, which many people are too selfish and lazy to bother with. On the upside, pursuing a path with integrity ultimately reduces one's suffering. It also attracts the kind of assistance that is most likely to aid and abet one's quest for liberation. As a bonus, it makes it unlikely that one will be a cockroach in one's next incarnation. I'm bringing this up, Capricorn, because I'm sensing that you're about to be tempted to be less than your best self. Please don't succumb.

The horoscopes you read here may be all you need from me. But if you'd like a bigger dose of my thoughts about your destiny, try my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES. Each is a 4 to 5 minute meditation about where you are right now. (For a limited time only, I've also got longer forecasts that report on the big picture of your life for 2010.)

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Provide evidence proving or disproving the following four hypotheses: 1. If you're not part of the grueling solution, you're probably part of the insidiously comfortable problem. 2. If you're not conspiring to commit smart fun, you're almost certainly colluding with the disingenuous repression. 3. If you're not trying to rally support for a tough investigation, you'll end up assisting the bland cover-up. 4. If you're not mad about how unconstructively you've used your anger in the past, then you won't be motivated to wield it more creatively any time soon.
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The preceding oracle comes from my new book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. You can hear me read excerpts from the book here.

"The only function of economic forecasting is to make astrology look respectable," said renowned economist John Kenneth Galbraith. If that's true, I'm doubling the damage to my dignity by using astrological analysis to make an economic forecast in this horoscope. But that's OK. My job is to report the raw truth as I see it, not worry about my reputation or social status. And the raw truth as I see it is that you are more likely than all the other signs of the zodiac to prosper in 2010, even if the economy as a whole continues to limp along. The next four weeks will be an ideal time to launch a master plan to take advantage of this potential.

The horoscopes you read here may be all you need from me. But if you'd like a bigger dose of my thoughts about your destiny, try my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES. Each is a 4 to 5 minute meditation about where you are right now. (For a limited time only, I've also got longer forecasts that report on the big picture of your life for 2010.)

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James Hillman and Michael Ventura wrote the book We've Had a Hundred Years of Psychotherapy and the World's Getting Worse. They propose that resolving our problems may not necessarily come from talking about our deep, private feelings with a trusted counselor. Instead, the best approach might be to go out into the world and do good works like helping the underprivileged or fighting for social justice.

Try their approach as a prescription for one of your personal problems.
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The preceding oracle comes from my new book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. You can hear me read excerpts from the book here.

Historians trace the origin of Poland as a nation to the year 966. It mostly thrived for hundreds of years, but was extinguished in 1795, when three imperialistic invaders -- Russia, Prussia, and Austria -- claimed different parts of it as their own. Throughout the 19th century, when there was no Poland, the Poles fought to restore self-rule. Their dream came true on November 11, 1918, when Poland once again became an independent nation. I regard the phase you're now in, Pisces, as having certain similarities to the state of the Polish people in October 1918. Congratulations in advance for the imminent return of your sovereignty.

The horoscopes you read here may be all you need from me. But if you'd like a bigger dose of my thoughts about your destiny, try my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES. Each is a 4 to 5 minute meditation about where you are right now. (For a limited time only, I've also got longer forecasts that report on the big picture of your life for 2010.)

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A thousand years from today, everyone you know will be long dead and forgotten. There'll be nothing left of the life you love, no evidence that you ever walked this planet. That, at least, is what the fundamentalist materialists would have you believe.

But suppose the truth is very different? What if in fact every little thing you do subtly alters the course of world history? What if your day-to-day decisions will actually help determine how the human species navigates its way through the epic turning point we're living through? And finally, what if you will be alive in a thousand years, reincarnated into a fresh body and in possession of the memories of the person you were back in this era?

These are my hypotheses. These are my prophecies. That's why I say: Live as if your soul is eternal.
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The preceding oracle comes from my new book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. You can hear me read excerpts from the book here.