According to a poll conducted by the Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life, there are as many people who give credence to astrology as call themselves Catholic. Believers in reincarnation are another sizable minority; their numbers equal those who put their faith in the Pope and in the planetary omens. Based on this evidence, we can safely conclude that at least some supposedly woo-woo notions are no longer just for woo-woo-ers. You can't be considered a New Age weirdo or pagan infidel if you're receptive to the possibility that the world is exceedingly mysterious and a long way from being all figured out. That's good news for you Cancerians. According to my analysis, your belief system is ready to crack open and allow a surge -- maybe even a flood -- of new data to rush in.

You can still listen to my long-range, in-depth explorations of your destiny in 2010. Each report in the three-part series of EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES is about 6-9 minutes long. A new short-term forecast for this week is also available. Sign in to access the 'scopes here.

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Thank your mother for the pain she endured while birthing you. For three minutes on the first Friday of every month, close your eyes and imagine yourself riding a wild horse through a cemetery. Fantasize that your so-called "dark side" is sweet and creamy.
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The preceding oracle comes from my new book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.