Strictly speaking -- going purely by the astrological omens -- I conclude that you would generate amazing cosmic luck if you translated the Beatles' song "Norwegian Wood" into Punjabi, wore shoes made of 18th-century velvet, or tried out for a Turkish volleyball team. I doubt you'll get it together to pull off those exotic feats, however, so I'll also provide some second-best suggestions. You won't receive quite as much cosmic assistance from doing them, but you'll still benefit considerably. Here are the back-ups: Begin planning where and when you'll take a sacred vacation in 2010; meditate on who among your current allies is most likely to help you expand your world in the next 12 months; decide which of your four major goals is the least crucial to pursue; and do something dramatic to take yourself less seriously.

Would you like to hear me say some more about your ever-evolving destiny? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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The sage and her student were standing by a pool discussing longing and ambition.

"What do you want more than anything else?" the sage asked.

"To perfect my ability to love all of creation the way I love myself," the young man replied.

At that moment, the sage tackled the student and shoved his head beneath the water. Accustomed to letting his teacher shape the unpredictable contours of his education, he did not resist.

One minute went by. Then another. The student began to struggle and kick. His teacher was strong.

Finally she released her grip and the student surfaced, fighting for breath.

"What did you want more than anything else during these last few minutes?" the sage inquired.

"Nothing else was in my mind except the desire for air," gasped the student.

"Excellent," beamed the sage. "As soon as you are equally single-minded in your desire to perfect your ability to love all of creation the way you love yourself, you will achieve your goal."
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The preceding oracle comes from my new book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. To view videos and hear podcasts drawn from the book, go here.