There was a time when wetlands were considered dismal and unproductive. At best they were thought to be a waste of space, and at worst stinky breeding grounds for insect pests. For over 200 years, many marshes, bogs, and swamps were filled with dirt and transformed into places suitable for farms, houses, and recreational areas. But all that has changed in the last 30 years. Science has rehabilitated the reputation of wetlands, showing how crucial they are. They clean toxins from water, help control floods and soil erosion, and are home to more biological diversity than any other ecosystem. The coming weeks would be an excellent time for you to make a comparable conversion, Aries. Something you once demeaned or underestimated could become an inspirational catalyst.

It's possible my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for you could give you additional help in figuring out what's going on.

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The Indian activist Mahatma Gandhi lead many peaceful rebellions against oppressive governments, first in South Africa and later in British-controlled India. At first he called his strategy "passive resistance," but later disavowed that term because it had negative implications. He ultimately chose the Sanskrit word satyagraha, meaning "love force" or "truth force." "Truth (satya) implies love," he said, "and firmness (agraha) is a synonym for force. Satyagraha is thus the force which is born of truth and love."

Give an example of how you have employed satyagraha in the past, and another example of how you might invoke it in the future.
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The preceding oracle comes from the revised and expanded edition of my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. You can order it at Amazon.

In the coming week, you will have the potential to articulate what has never been spoken before and to name truths that everyone has been avoiding. Uncoincidentally, you may also be able to hear what you've never been able to hear up until now and tune in to truths you've been oblivious to. As you might imagine, Taurus, you must fully activate both of these capacities in order for either to function at its best.

Want to hear more about the subconscious factors and hidden forces that are influencing your life? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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"Nothing's going right in my life. I feel anxious and paranoid all the time. My relationships are a mess." In my line of work, people make confessions like that to me. My first response is usually something like this: "Do you habitually gobble junk food near bedtime, steal a paltry five hours of sleep per night, gulp two cups of coffee and no breakfast in the morning, then bolt to a workplace where you get no sunlight or exercise and sit in an uncomfortable chair?" They often reply, "You must be psychic! How did you know?!" My point is that many psychological troubles stem from our chronic failure to take good care of our physical needs.

Name three things you can do to promote pronoia in yourself by taking better care of your body.
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The preceding oracle comes from the revised and expanded edition of my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. You can order it at Amazon.

Nature's rhythm is cyclical. Everything alive waxes and wanes. If you're smart, you honor that flow by periodically letting parts of your world wither or go to sleep. If you're not so smart, you set yourself up for needless pain by indulging in the delusion that you can enjoy uninterrupted growth. According to my reading of the astrological omens, Gemini, this is your time to explore the creative possibilities of ebbing and slackening. Ask yourself the following question, which I've borrowed from the Jungian author Clarissa Pinkola Estes: "What must I allow to die today in order to generate more life tomorrow?"

To further explore the ripening challenges and blessings in your life, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Say this: "Novel intuitions are now erupting from my smart heart, awakening me from any trance I've been ensnared in. I am hereby breaking and escaping obstructions that have hindered my ability to express my soul's code. All of my unique capacities are being unleashed, all of my potentials activated. I recognize that I'm a miraculous work of art, a masterpiece unlike any other ever created in the history of the world."

Say this: "I am a genius. I am a lucky, plucky, good-sucking genius."
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The preceding oracle comes from the revised and expanded edition of my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. You can order it at Amazon.

Pregnant women sometimes have unusual cravings. From the fourth to sixth month of her daughter's gestation period, for example, my friend Marta was on occasion beset by the longing to eat toothpaste. I've known other women who fantasized about nibbling on mud, coffee grounds, and chalk. Fortunately, they all resisted the urge, which is what health practitioners recommend. Instead they tried to figure out if their bodies were trying to tell them about some legitimate deficiency of vitamins or minerals. I offer this to you as a metaphor to keep in mind. As your own special creation ripens, you may experience odd desires. Don't necessarily take them at face value.

Need more whacks applied to your mental blocks? More caresses bestowed upon your growing edge? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Beauty and Truth Laboratory researcher Romney Austin adorned her Honda Civic with her first-ever bumper sticker, "Give Yourself to Love." While proud of announcing her compassionate philosophy to the world, she was also nervous. Hadn't she raised the pressure on herself to live up to her noble ideals?

A week later, she snapped. A guy chatting on a cell phone in a Lexus SUV cut her off in traffic, and road rage moved her to give him a middle-finger salute. Soon she added a new bumper sticker to the left of the first: "Get In, Sit Down, Shut Up, Hold On."

When I asked her about the contradiction, she confessed, "I've just accepted that I've got a split personality."

A week later, her conflicting sides reached a compromise. Romney pasted the word "and" in the space between the two stickers, to create a new thought: "Get In, Sit Down, Shut Up, Hold On, and Give Yourself to Love." She called to announce the good news: "I'm whole again!"
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The preceding oracle comes from the revised and expanded edition of my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. You can order it at Amazon.

It might be tempting to turn your home into a womb-like sanctuary and explore the mysteries of doing absolutely nothing while clad in your pajamas. And frankly, this might be a good idea. After the risks you've taken to reach out to the other side, after the bridges you've built in the midst of the storms, after the skirmishes you've fought in the Gossip Wars, you have every right to retreat and get your homebody persona humming at a higher vibration. So I say: Be meticulously leisurely as you celebrate the deep pleasures of self-care.

Where do you want to go? Who do you want to be? For more clues, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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In ancient Rome, gladiator contests were as popular as today's football games. The warriors back then were not hired heroes as they are now, however. They were slaves or convicts who were forced to fight. Even if they won, they were usually required to return and risk their lives another day. Now and then a grizzled veteran of countless struggles-to-the-death was awarded with the ultimate prize: a wooden sword, symbolizing the end of his role as a gladiator and the beginning of his life as a free man. I'm telling you this because I believe you have earned your own personal equivalent of the wooden sword. Make one for yourself.
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The preceding oracle comes from the revised and expanded edition of my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. You can order it at Amazon.

"Hey Rob: I was having trouble finishing my novel -- typical writer's block. So I sidetracked myself into making silly creative projects -- papier-mache chickens, masks made out of junk mail, collages incorporating bottle caps and dryer lint. I can't say any of it is 'art,' but I feel creative again and my house is full of colorful stuff I whipped up myself. If you wait to be perfect, I concluded, you'll never make anything. I tried something I knew I'd be bad at, so failure didn't matter. Now I'm branching out with my inadequacy -- not waiting for Mr. Perfect but having a beer with Joe Flawed, forgetting to be right all the time, admitting that I haven't a clue. I've become smilingly, brilliantly dumb. -Inappropriate Virgo." Dear Inappropriate: Congrats! You're doing exactly what I want to advise all Virgos everywhere to try.

Do you want to take a further look at your ever-evolving destiny? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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May you eat an unfamiliar dessert in a strange land at least once every three years.

May you wake up to salsa music one summer morning, and start dancing while you're still half-asleep.

May you spray-paint Rilke poems as graffiti on highway overpasses.

May you mix stripes with plaids, floral patterns with checks, and yellowish-green with brownish-purple.

May you learn to identify by name 20 flowers, 15 trees, 10 clouds, and one extrasolar planet.

May you put a bumper sticker on your car or bike that says, "My god can kick your god's ass!"

If you bury your face in your tear-stained pillow and beg God to please send you your soul mate, may you not slur your words in such a way that they sound like "cell mate."

May you dream of taking a trip to the moon in a gondola powered by firecrackers and wild swans.

May you actually kiss the earth now and then.

May you find many good excuses to say what physicist Niels Bohr once did: "Your theory is crazy, but it's not crazy enough to be true."
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The preceding oracle comes from the revised and expanded edition of my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. You can order it at Amazon.

At a yard sale today, I paid a dollar for a stained, pocket-sized horoscope book with many of its pages missing. The reason I made such an odd investment is that it had a forecast for Libra for the first part of November 2009, and this forecast struck me as even more useful than the horoscope I had composed for you. As a public service, I'm providing it here. "The graceful dragonfly lives for just a few months. But a sequoia tree's time on earth can last 2,000 years. In the same way, some bonds, some creations, some worlds, endure for a mere blink in eternity, while others are destined to outfox the ravages of time. What will be the lifespan of the dream you recently hatched, Libra? It is time to decide and take action."

Need more help deciphering your riddles and enigmas? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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"If you bring forth the genius within you," said Jesus in the Gnostic Gospel of Thomas, "it will free you. If you do not bring forth the genius within you, it will destroy you." Is there any aspect of the genius within you that you're not bringing forth? If so, what can you do to change that?
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The preceding oracle comes from the revised and expanded edition of my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. You can order it at Amazon.

Your anti-role model -- the person you should be the opposite of -- is the Scorpio warrior, U.S. General George Patton, also known as "Old Blood and Guts." He once said, "Practically everyone but myself is a pusillanimous son of a bitch." That's an attitude you should especially avoid in the coming weeks, since your success will depend on you seeing the best in people -- even if they sometimes don't seem to warrant it. P.S. It may be OK to think of yourself as "Old Blood and Guts" if and only if you dedicate your ferocity to the service of smart love and ingenious collaboration.

No one knows you better than you do, but maybe I can help you dig up even more self-knowledge. Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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In the Greek epic The Odyssey, Odysseus and his men become stranded on an island belonging to the sorceress Circe, who uses her magic to transform the men into pigs. Later, though, she changes them back into men—only they're younger and taller and better-looking than before they were pigs.

Tell an analogous story from your own life: an experience in which you were turned into a pig for a while, and became a more beautiful version of yourself when the spell was broken.
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The preceding oracle comes from the revised and expanded edition of my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. You can order it at Amazon.

Congratulations, Sagittarius! Free Will Astrology's Task Force on Creative Suffering has confirmed that your current dilemmas are exceptionally interesting and useful. You have demonstrated an impressive talent for getting embroiled in riddles that promise to bring out your dormant reserves of vitality and ingenuity. The dumfounding questions you've been wrestling with are high-caliber tests that have drawn you closer to the heart of the reasons you're here on Earth. Take full advantage of this beautiful mess, my dear. Chaos this fertile is hard to come by.

What better adventure is there than understanding your unique destiny? For more hints, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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The novelist Willa Cather once said: "One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness. One only stumbles upon them by chance, in a lucky hour, at the world's end somewhere."

But I disagree with Willa Cather. I share the view of Rick Foster and Greg Hicks, who wrote the book, How We Choose to Be Happy: The 9 Choices of Extremely Happy People. They say that the number one trait of happy people is a serious determination to be happy. In other words, they say bliss is not an accident that you stumble upon by chance, in a lucky hour, at the world's end somewhere. Bliss is a habit that you can cultivate. Which theory would you prefer to believe?

Here's what I say. Terence McKenna said it for me: "I believe reality is a marvelous joke staged for my edification and amusement, and everybody is working very hard to make me happy."
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The preceding oracle comes from the revised and expanded edition of my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. You can order it at Amazon.

When Dante was nine years old, long before he became one of Italy's supreme poets, he fell in love with Beatrice, an eight-year-old girl he met at a May Day party. They never had a close relationship. In the years after their initial encounter, they met infrequently, and both eventually married other people. But Beatrice played a crucial role throughout Dante's life, although she died at the age of 24. She was not just his muse, but also his "beatitude, the destroyer of all vices and the queen of virtue, salvation." Dante even wrote her into his Divine Comedy in the role of a guide. Is there any person or influence in your life equivalent to Beatrice? Any once-upon-a-time blessing that might be ready to give you the fullness of the gifts it has been waiting all this time to deliver?

Got enough clues to chew on? If you need more, check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Somewhere in the world is a tree that has been struck by lightning in such a way that the scorch marks reveal your initials. Locate that tree.

Somewhere in the world there is a treasure that has no value to anyone but you, and a secret that is meaningless to everyone except you, and a frontier that possesses a revelation only you know how to exploit. Go in search of those things.

Somewhere in the world there is a person who could ask you the precise question you need to hear in order to catalyze the next phase of your evolution. Do what's necessary to run into that person.
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The preceding oracle comes from the revised and expanded edition of my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. You can order it at Amazon.

I would love it if you could find a sword that could cut itself. Or a fire that could burn itself. Or some water you could wash. But even if you can conjure the magic to attract an experience that simply resembles one of those marvelous paradoxes, it would set in motion a series of epiphanies that would liberate you from an inferior paradox -- a confusing absurdity that is not worthy of you and that has been draining your life force.

For more help in understanding your relationship with the game of life, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Contrary to what the Bible says, it won't be the meek who shall inherit the earth. On the other hand, the arrogant power mongers won't collect the legacy either. Neither the indecisive wimps nor the acquisitive bullies will contribute much to creating the New World.

Who, then, will inherit the earth? What kind of human beings are best-equipped to thrive in the evolving game of life? We say it will be the well-disciplined pleasure-seekers who are in vigorous dialogue with their own dark sides, who balance the masculine and feminine aspects of their natures, and who master the fine arts of working at their play and playing at their work.

Assume our definition has some validity for you. What would you have to do to become more like one of the inheritors of the earth?
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The preceding oracle comes from the revised and expanded edition of my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. You can order it at Amazon.

The planets are aligned in such a way that suggests you may be able to experience an orgasm solely by meditating. This rare cosmic alignment also means that it's conceivable you could generate money or attract new resources by following your holy bliss, or that you might stumble upon the tricky treasure you've been looking for in all the wrong places. But I can't say for sure that you will actually be able to capitalize on any of these remarkable opportunities. It will depend on whether you can more fully express one of the skills that is your birthright as a Pisces: being wild and disciplined at the same time.

Want more help in exploring your Soul's Code? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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In some spiritual traditions, devotees attempt an arduous process of self-transformation as they retrain themselves to perceive the world from God's point of view. If they succeed, they're honored with an initiation ritual and given a new name to consecrate their altered state.

I have the same problem with this custom that I have with the idea of enlightenment: Once isn’t enough. Just as anyone in his or her right spiritual mind has a duty to keep claiming fresh varieties of enlightenment until the end of time, so should the initiations and renamings continue forever.

In my opinion, these considerations apply to you. You may not have sequestered yourself for years in a mountaintop monastery, and you may not have risen every morning at 5 a.m. to say prayers for hours, but you are an authentic devotee who has undergone equivalent ordeals. Your spiritual transformation has unfolded as you've dealt with the challenges of daily life during our epic moment in history, when unprecedented levels of annihilation and resurrection are the norm.

You have earned the right, therefore, to enjoy enlightenment after enlightenment and initiation after initiation and renaming after renaming.

I invite you to get started with a do-it-yourself initiation ceremony. It doesn't have to be long and complicated, and you can create it yourself. As an example of what you might do, here's a ritual that some Beauty and Truth Laboratory's initiates have performed: 1. Eat a pinch of dirt to declare your solidarity with Mother Earth. 2. Burn a five-dollar bill to purify your relationship with symbols of wealth. 3. Kick yourself in the ass to affirm your ongoing intention to discipline your shadow.

As one of your initiatory rewards, consider adopting a fresh alias during this and every initiation you carry out in the future. You can abandon your existing name if you want, or simply add your new tag to the current mix.

To celebrate the occasion, I invoke on your behalf the inspiration of all shedding things. Your tree of power will be the eucalyptus, whose bark peels away to reveal fresh layers beneath. Your lucky symbol will be the molting snake. Your sacred insect will be the silverfish, which bursts through its exoskeleton as it grows a new and bigger one. Your role model will be Japanese artist Hokusai (1760–1849), who had such a passionate commitment to reinventing himself that he celebrated 60 births, each time giving himself a new name.
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The preceding oracle comes from the revised and expanded edition of my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. You can order it at Amazon.