Is the electron a wave or a particle? Physicists had to conduct thousands of experiments to arrive at the definitive answer, which is that it's both. In other words, the solution to one of the fundamental questions about the nature of reality is a paradox. I think this strongly suggests that the correct response to many other riddles about the ultimate truth might be two seemingly opposing explanations. Could the Unitarians and Buddhists both be right? Socialists and capitalists? Mystics and scientists? In the upcoming days, Aries, you will be offered lots of practice in adopting this approach as you deal with a personal dilemma that's very much akin to "Is the electron a wave or a particle?"

No one knows you better than you do, but maybe I can help you dig up even more self-knowledge. Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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When many people talk about their childhoods, they emphasize the alienating, traumatic experiences they had. It has become fashionable to avoid reporting memories of the good times in one's past. This seems dishonest—a testament to the popularity of cynicism rather than a reflection of objective truth.

I don't mean to downplay the way your early encounters with pain demoralized your spirit. But as you reconnoiter the promise of pronoia, it's crucial for you to extol the gifts you were given in your early years: all the helpful encounters, kind teachings, and simple acts of grace that helped you bloom. Remember them now, please.
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The preceding oracle comes from the revised and expanded edition of my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. You can order it at Amazon.

Have you ever mused on the fact that your body is actually a kind of furnace? And that your whole life depends upon it? Food and oxygen are constantly combusting inside you, generating fiery energy that fuels your every movement, thought, and feeling. This awareness of fire as a source of vitality, not a destroyer, would be valuable for you to cultivate in the coming days. Your steady, earthy rhythm needs a shot of radiance and luminosity and fervor.

What better adventure is there than understanding your unique destiny? For more hints, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Congratulations. Every cell in your perfect animal body is beginning to purr with luminous gratitude for the enormity of the riches you endlessly receive. You are becoming aware that each of your heart's beats originates as a gift of love directly from the Goddess herself. Any residues of hatred that had been tainting your libido are leaving you for good. You are becoming telepathically linked to the world's entire host of secret teachers, pacifist warriors, philosopher clowns, and bodhisattvas disguised as convenience store clerks.
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The preceding oracle comes from the revised and expanded edition of my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. You can order it at Amazon.

Several couples I know keep lists of the five celebrities they'd be allowed to boink if the chance ever presented itself. My friend Jim, for instance, will incur no karmic repercussions with his girlfriend Alicia if he ever spends a night of carnal delight with the following people: Lady Gaga, Sarah Silverman, Karen O, Shakira, or Halle Berry. Alicia's permitted to enjoy liaisons with Johnny Depp, Chris Rock, Marilyn Manson, Jimmy Fallon, and Portia de Rossi. I bring this up, Gemini, because I believe you'll soon be the beneficiary of some extravagant cosmic luck that could offer you a close brush with an exotic form of pleasure. This might not exactly take the form of a one-night stand with a famous fox, but it could be almost as extraordinary.

Got enough clues to chew on? If you need more, check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Is the world a dangerous, chaotic place with no inherent purpose, running on automatic like a malfunctioning machine and fundamentally inimical to your happiness? Or are you surrounded by helpers in a friendly universe that gives you challenges in order to make you smarter and wilder and kinder? Trick questions! The answers may depend, at least to some degree, on what you believe is true.

Formulate a series of experiments that will allow you to objectively test the hypothesis that the universe is conspiring to help you.
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The preceding oracle comes from the revised and expanded edition of my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. You can order it at Amazon.

I'm happy you're getting back to fundamentals and shedding pretensions and nourishing your roots, but I also want to make sure that you don't get too funky and lowdown. I'd hate to have to be hoisting you up out of the gutter next week, or counseling you on how to cover for the fact that you've compromised your own highest standards. So please resist any temptations you might feel to descend toward the lowest common denominator, Cancerian. As you deepen your center of gravity, make sure you keep your attitude elevated.

For more help in understanding your relationship with the game of life, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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A thousand years from today, everyone you know will be long dead and forgotten. There'll be nothing left of the life you love, no evidence that you ever walked this planet. That, at least, is what the fundamentalist materialists would have you believe. But suppose the truth is very different? What if in fact every little thing you do subtly alters the course of world history? What if your day-to-day decisions will actually help determine how the human species navigates its way through the epic turning point we're living through? And finally, what if you will be alive in a thousand years, reincarnated into a fresh body and in possession of the memories of the person you were back in this era? These are my hypotheses. These are my prophecies. Which is why I say: Live as if your soul is eternal.
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The preceding oracle comes from the revised and expanded edition of my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. You can order it at Amazon.

"I may not love you," wrote R. R. Doister, "but I can certainly love my fantasy about you." Personally, I've been guilty of embodying that attitude toward certain people in my life. There have also been allies to whom I could have said, "I do love you, although I love my fantasy about you a little more." And it has even been the case on numerous occasions that I've been proud to declare, "I love you even more than I love my fantasy about you." What about you, Leo? Where do you stand on the issue? This is an excellent time to get on the righteous side of the great divide, which is to say: Adore your special people for who they really are more than for your fantasies about them.

Want more help in exploring your Soul's Code? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Psychologist Carl Jung believed that all desires have a sacred origin, no matter how odd they may seem. Frustration and ignorance may contort them into distorted caricatures, but it is always possible to locate the divine source from which they arose. In describing one of his addictive patients, Jung said: "His craving for alcohol was the equivalent on a low level of the spiritual thirst for wholeness, or as expressed in medieval language: the union with God."

Therapist James Hillman echoes the theme: "Psychology regards all symptoms to be expressing the right thing in the wrong way." A preoccupation with porn or romance novels, for instance, may come to dominate a passionate person whose quest for love has degenerated into an obsession with images of love. "Follow the lead of your symptoms," Hillman suggests, "for there's usually a myth in the mess, and a mess is an expression of soul."
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The preceding oracle comes from the revised and expanded edition of my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. You can order it at Amazon.

In a puckish fantasy, the poet Linh Dinh imagined a hypothetical scenario in which it would be uncool to be too cool. "In an effort to inject more pep and resolve into its lethargic citizens," he waxed with prophetic longing, "the government is mandating the use of an exclamation mark at the end of each sentence, spoken or written. 'It looks like rain!' for example, or 'I must sleep!'" I suggest that you take his vision, Virgo, and turn it into reality for the immediate future! You would really benefit from getting more excited than usual! Who knows, maybe a simple thing like imagining every one of your sentences ending with an exclamation mark could make your whole being more thrillable!

It's possible my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for you could give you additional help in figuring out what's going on.

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In Homer's epic tale, The Odyssey, he described nepenthe, a mythical drug that induced the forgetfulness of pain and trouble. Modern culture has turned the myth into reality: There are now many stimuli serving that purpose.

If Homer were alive today, we wonder if he'd write about a potion that stirs up memories of delight, serenity, and fulfillment? Imagine that you have taken such a tonic. Spend an hour or two remembering the glorious moments from your past.
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The preceding oracle comes from the revised and expanded edition of my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. You can order it at Amazon.

Is there a big difference between your current job and your beloved career? Do you suffer from the unsettling feeling that your calling hasn't called you yet? Are you under the impression that your main reason for being here on Earth may reveal itself at some unknown time in the future, but not anytime soon? If you answered no to all those questions, congrats! You are more than halfway toward living a victorious life. But if you answered yes to at least one question, it's high time to take action. Start by formulating an intention to find out what you need to know in order to deal with the problem more aggressively. The cosmic forces are arrayed in such a way as to reward you for doing so.

Want to hear more about the subconscious factors and hidden forces that are influencing your life? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Like all of us, you have desires for things that you don't really need and aren't good for you. But you shouldn't disparage yourself for having them, nor should you conclude that every desire is tainted. Rather, think of your misguided longings as the bumbling, amateur expressions of a faculty that will one day be far more expert. They're how you practice as you work toward the goal of becoming a master of desire. It may take a while, but eventually you will get the hang of wanting things that are really good for you, and good for everyone else, too.
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The preceding oracle comes from the revised and expanded edition of my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. You can order it at Amazon.

The Indian guru known as Amma has hugged over 30 million people during her three-decades career. I've known people who've received blessings from her, and they tell me that she can magically undo your karmic knots with her spiritual power, freeing you from having to suffer indefinitely for the bad decisions you made in the past. Amma rarely does a complete unraveling of all karmic knots in one sitting, however. Your negative conditioning might be holding you together, after all, and a sudden super-fix could cause you to fall apart. That's the situation I suspect is true for you right now, Scorpio: You'll be wise to undo some, but not all, of your karmic knots.

To further explore the ripening challenges and blessings in your life, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

Need a few more whacks applied to your mental blocks? A few more caresses administered to your growing edge? Cruise on over to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.

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Many people believe that happiness is a rare commodity attainable only through dumb luck. "One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness," said novelist Willa Cather. "One only stumbles upon them by chance, in a lucky hour, at the world's end somewhere." I disagree. My perspective is the same as the Buddhist researchers Rick Foster and Greg Hicks. In their book How We Choose to Be Happy: The 9 Choices of Extremely Happy People, they reveal that the number one trait of happy people is a serious determination to be happy. Bliss is a habit you can cultivate, in other words, not an accident that you stumble upon by chance, in a lucky hour, at the world's end somewhere.
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The preceding oracle comes from the revised and expanded edition of my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. You can order it at Amazon.

The coming week will have something to offend and agitate everyone -- except you. Whines and moans and yelps will ring out across the land, even as you're emanating poise and aplomb. You may be tempted to brazenly exploit everyone's vulnerability and seize control of your corner of the world, but I think that would be shortsighted of you. A better strategy for capitalizing on your advantage would be to dole out large doses of mercy, making sure that the people who will be important to your future don't lose their way.

Need more whacks applied to your mental blocks? More caresses bestowed upon your growing edge? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Meditate naked under a waterfall.
Relive the last day of your childhood.
Sip the tears of someone you love.
Rebel against your horoscope.
Create a luxurious orphanage in Romania.
Pick blackberries in the rain.
Feel sorry for a devious lawyer.
See how far you can spit a mouthful of beer.
Give yourself another chance.
Dream of stealing the peaches of immortality from a dragon guarding Plato's cave.
Write a love letter to your evil twin during a lunar eclipse.
Sing the first song you ever heard.
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The preceding oracle comes from the revised and expanded edition of my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. You can order it at Amazon.

"The bear must deal with 20 obstacles, and each one of them involves pears," says the Sufi proverb, "because the bear adores pears." That's a twisty truth worth meditating on, Capricorn. I suspect that the gifts coming your way will bring their own unique problems; the dreams you're in love with will generate new dilemmas to solve. By no means does this imply that you should avoid accepting the gifts or pursuing your dreams. Part of the fun of doing great things is dealing with the changes they generate!

Where do you want to go? Who do you want to be? For more clues, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Robin Norwood's self-help book Women Who Love Too Much deals with a theme that has gotten a lot of play in recent decades: If you're too generous to someone who doesn't appreciate it and at the expense of your own needs, you can make yourself sick.

An alternative perspective comes from Blaise Pascal, who said, "When one does not love too much, one does not love enough." He was primarily addressing psychologically healthy altruists, but it's a good ideal for pronoia lovers to keep in mind.

Decide whether you need to move more in the direction of Norwood's or Pascal's advice. Develop a game plan to carry out your resolve, then take action.
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The preceding oracle comes from the revised and expanded edition of my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. You can order it at Amazon.

On behalf of all us non-Aquarians, I'd like to express our appreciation for the experiments you've been performing. Please don't be discouraged just because the results thus far have been inconclusive and left you feeling a trifle rudderless. We feel confident that sooner or later you'll come up with discoveries that will have bottom-line value to both you and the rest of us. We'd also like to apologize for the shortsighted and timid types among us who are accusing you of being unrealistic or overly optimistic. Please keep trying those novel approaches and making those imaginative forays.

Do you want to take a further look at your ever-evolving destiny? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Most people associate innocence with naiveté. Conventional wisdom regards it as belonging to children and fools and rookies who lack the sophistication or experience to know the tough truths about life. But the Beauty and Truth Laboratory recognizes a different kind of innocence. It's based on an understanding that the world is always changing, and therefore deserves to be seen fresh every day. This alternative brand of innocence is fueled by an aggressive determination to empty one's imagination of all preconceptions. "Ignorance is not knowing anything and being attracted to the good," wrote Clarissa Pinkola-Estes in Women Who Run With the Wolves. "Innocence is knowing everything and still being attracted to the good."
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The preceding oracle comes from the revised and expanded edition of my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. You can order it at Amazon.

While reviewing the work of Angelina Jolie in the film Taking Lives, A. O. Scott called her "the flesh-and-blood actress most likely to be mistaken for a computer-generated special effect." I don't expect you to rival Jolie's odd talent anytime soon, but I wonder if maybe you'll be seeing a lot of that kind of stuff in the world around you. Some of the characters who will be advancing the plotlines in your life story may seem to be able to breathe fire, walk through walls, or change the weather at will. At the very least, you'll witness phenomena that resemble optical illusions. My advice: Try to get these exotic outbreaks to work for you rather than against you. Embrace them, don't fear them.

Need more help deciphering your riddles and enigmas? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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Mirabilia is a word that refers to events that inspire wonder, marvelous phenomena, small miracles; it's from the Latin mirabilia, "marvels." Here's your mirabilia report for the coming week: The average river requires a million years to move a grain of sand 100 miles. Kind people are more likely than mean people to yawn when someone near them does. There are always so many fragments of spider legs floating in the air that you are constantly inhaling them wherever you go. Gregorian chants can cure dyslexia. Bob Hope donated half a million jokes to the Library of Congress. Bees perform a valuable service for the flowers from which they steal. The moon smells like exploded firecrackers. Physicists in Tennessee coaxed electric signals to travel through coaxial cable at four times the speed of light, even though the equipment they used was cheap stuff from Radio Shack. Revlon makes 177 different shades of lipstick.
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The preceding oracle comes from the revised and expanded edition of my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. You can order it at Amazon.