Your assignment is to get angry in the most unique, brilliant, and constructive way possible. Merely being annoyed and muttering generic curses will definitely not be sufficient. Nor will it work for you to get consumed in knee-jerk rage or to be peeved about the same old boring targets that everyone reacts to. What the cosmos needs from you this week, Aries, is a controlled explosion of liberated, compassionate, laser-sharp fury that will fuel your ingenious drive to change everything for the better.

Need a few more whacks applied to your mental blocks? A few more caresses administered to your growing edge? Cruise on over to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.

Are you having intense cravings for candy? Do you find yourself leaning in the direction of sappy emotions and syrupy words? That's what my astrological projections suggest. And if that's indeed the case, I'd like to steer you in a different direction. It's not that an extravagant involvement in chocolate and sentimentality is wrong or bad. But what you truly need, in my opinion, is a more muscular, provocative sweetness. A wilder, more vibrant sweetness. A sweetness that can smash obstacles and incite high magic.

Where do you want to go? Who do you want to be? For more clues, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.

I won't protest if you try to conceal yourself from bullies or gossips or critics or narcissists. You have cosmic permission to hunker down and keep a low profile. But please don't hide from yourself. In fact, I encourage you to make yourself extra available to yourself. Listen respectfully to the questions and comments that your shadow murmurs in your inner ear. Be eager to tune in to the messages your body is longing to tell you. These communications might sometimes be a minor pain in the ego, but the long-term benefits to your soul could be substantial.

Do you want further explorations of the intriguing twists and turns of your personal evolution? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.

I have tuned in to your yearning for resolution, O Seeker. I know that your heart fervently wants the riddles to run their course, the mysteries to be revealed, the uncertainties to be quelled. And I have ransacked my imagination in search of what consolation I might provide to appease your quest for neat, simple truths. But what I have concluded, O In-Between One, is that any solutions I might try to offer you would not only be fake, but also counterproductive. What you actually need, I suspect, are not answers to your urgent questions, but rather, better questions; more precisely formulated questions; more ruthlessly honest questions. Dig deeper, please. Open wider. Think fatter.

Need more help with your riddles? Crave more support in your efforts to build your courage? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.

No one knew there was coal in the United States until 1790. A hunter who was wandering near Pennsylvania's Broad Mountain stumbled upon it accidentally when his campfire lit up an outcropping of pure anthracite. That discovery was both a blessing and a curse; since then, the mining of coal has yielded abundant energy but also environmental degradation. I predict a metaphorically similar event for you in the coming days, Leo. You will inadvertently find a potentially enormous source of valuable fuel that will, like coal, present you with both rich opportunities and knotty dilemmas.

No one knows you better than you do. But maybe you'll be inspired to dig up even more self-knowledge if you tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.

I dare you to say yes to a possibility you've said no to in the past. I double dare you to try an impossible thing before lunch each day. I triple dare you to imagine you're a genius at inspiring people to like you and help you. I quadruple dare you to drive overly stable people crazy for all the right reasons. I quintuple dare you to fantasize that your so-called delusions of grandeur have begun to contain more than a few grains of truth.

What greater adventure is there than exploring the enigmas of your unique destiny? For more hints, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.

I know a 19-year-old woman who has been going through an especially vivid phase of living on the edge between yes and no. She told me that yesterday morning she woke up with the feeling that in the next 12 hours she could either commit suicide or else perform some epic deed in which she surpassed all of her previous limits. She chose the latter path, completing an 18-mile bike ride that tested her endurance and drove her into the heights of exhilaration. As she pedaled, she drove herself onward with the throbbing thought that this was a perfect way to silence the self-destructive voice within her. I offer her victory to you, Libra, as being worthy of imitation.

Got enough clues to chew on for a while? If you need more, give yourself the luxury of your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.

Let's take inventory of your harvest, Scorpio. What blossomed for you these past months? Which of the seeds you planted last March and April sprouted into ripe, succulent blossoms? Which seeds grew into hard, spiky clumps? And what about weeds, pests, and predators? Were you tireless about keeping them away from your beauties? Finally, what did you learn about growing things that could give you a green thumb when you cultivate your seeds in the next cycle?

How much do you want to know about your destiny? How far do you dare to go? For more insight into your intriguing fate, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.

Before she became a rock goddess, Gwen Stefani cleaned the floors at an ice cream parlor. Prior to ascending to stardom, Ellen DeGeneres was an oyster shucker, Keanu Reeves worked a janitor, and Brad Pitt performed as a giant chicken mascot. As for me, my gig as an internationally syndicated astrologer was not my first. Among many other things, I washed enough pots and pans in cheap restaurants to fulfill my dishwashing karma for my next five incarnations. I hope these examples serve to inspire you, Sagittarius. Even during the down economy, the next six months will provide you with ripe astrological conditions for upgrading your job. And the coming weeks will be prime time to brainstorm about how to go about it.

Want more help in exploring the Great Mystery that is your life? I discuss your coming week in greater depth in your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

I know some brave pioneers who make responsible use of psychotropic drugs as they map out the borderlands of consciousness. I'm glad they're doing that work, but my path is different. I don't indulge in marijuana, LSD, ayahuasca, or psilocybin. However, my many years of doing meditation, dream work, and various spiritual practices have nevertheless transformed me into a radical mystic with some of the same knowledge that the psychedelic experimenters have. Keep that disclaimer in mind as you ruminate on my advice for you, which is this: Blow your own mind, baby. Raise your expectations, supercharge your fantasy life, and make forays out into the frontiers. Get high in ways that are appropriate to your ethical code.

Do you have enough info about yourself for now, or are you curious for more? If you'd like to go further, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.

I love the new neighborhood I just moved to. It's insanely eclectic. Modern suburban-like homes with impeccable emerald-green lawns stand right next door to bedraggled 1950s-style ranch houses with unfinished plywood for garage doors and high brown weeds blanketing the front yards. A rusty mustard-yellow 1977 Cadillac Seville sporting a McCain-Palin bumper sticker is parked on the street next to a shiny 2007 Volvo with a sticker that advises, "Be the change you want to see in the world." Aging rednecks with fishing gear scattered in the driveway live next door to hipster musicians who blast psychedelic folk songs from their garage rehearsal space. I urge you to hang out in places like this in the coming weeks: where diversity rules, where the pigeonholes are exploded, where variety is not just the spice of life but the main course.

Want to hear more about the hidden factors influencing your life? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.

The month of August brought you some peculiar advances. You got a reward that didn't mean as much to you as it might have had you received it earlier. You outgrew an enigma that had puzzled and frustrated you forever. And you finally wriggled free of a shadowy game that you had been attached to long after it lost its power to educate you. As curious as these wistful breakthroughs have been, they are prologue to what's headed your way. Get ready to solve a problem you didn't even know you loved.

What blessings will life bring you? What challenges will you be invited to dive into? To explore the ripening trends further, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.