Astrology and Tarot cards are my favorite divinatory tools, but I also get a lot of use out of magnetic poetry kits. These are boxes full of evocative words and symbols in the form of refrigerator magnets. Sometimes after analyzing your astrological omens, I'll close my eyes, beam a question out into the ethers, and pluck a few magnets at random from one of my poetry kits. I just did that for you. "What are the keys to unlocking the enormous reserves of energy that are potentially available for Aries folks right now?" I asked. Here's the message that came: "swooping orgasms & laughing tears." (Or it could also be arranged this way: "laughing orgasms & swooping tears.")

Need a few more whacks applied to your mental blocks? A few more caresses administered to your growing edge? Cruise on over to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.

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If you'd like to get an idea of what my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES are like, tune in to my free podcast, "You Are a Prophet." It's a meditation on how your imagination is your greatest resource and treasure. My approach there has a close resemblance to the style of my weekly pay-for-view offerings.