Please don't wear a t-shirt that says what I saw on the canary yellow t-shirt of the Japanese tourist at JFK airport: "Sorry, I'm a loser." I also beg you not to read Ethan Trex's book How to Seem Like a Better Person Without Actually Improving Yourself. It's very important, in my astrological opinion, that you not demean or underestimate yourself in the coming days. In fact, I'll go so far as to say that you have a sacred duty to exalt your beauty and exult in your talents. Now go read Walt Whitman's Song of Myself, and periodically murmur the first line all week long: "I celebrate myself, and sing myself."

This week and next week, my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES will feature Part 2 and Part 3 of my long-range, in-depth explorations of your destiny in 2009. Tune in! Start brainstorming about the adventures that could be in store for you in the coming months. (P.S. Part 1 of your Year-End Predictions, which I offered last week, is also still available.)