Happy Holy Daze, Scorpio! If I could give you one symbolic gift to set the right tone for 2009, it might be a clear glass vase with a potato growing partially submerged in water, allowing you to see its gnarly roots. I'd hope that would inspire you to put diligent yet playful effort into getting reacquainted with and exploring your own personal source code -- you know, the master plan of your life that you formulated before you were born. The coming months will be an excellent time to cultivate a wise innocence as you get to the bottom of who you really are.

Want to get an idea of what my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES are like? Tune in to my free podcasts, "Fear Versus Intuition" and "You Are a Prophet." My approach there has a close resemblance to the style of my weekly pay-for-view offerings.

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Late at night when there's no traffic, stride down the middle of an empty road that by day is crawling with cars. Dance, careen, and sing songs that fill you with pleasurable emotions. Splay your arms triumphantly as you extemporize prayers in which you make extravagant demands and promises. Give pet names to the trees you pass, declare your admiration for the workers who made the road, and celebrate your sovereignty over a territory that usually belongs to heavy machines and their operators.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.