At Salon.com's forum "Table Talk," participants were urged to come up with a six-word sentence that captured the essence of their lives. One person wrote, "Broke. Payday. Broke. Payday. Broke. Payday." Another said, "Oh, no, not again. Again. Again." But the testimony I really wanted to call your attention to is this: "I never learned how to swashbuckle." Why is this pertinent for you? Because I believe that if you have a similar regret -- that you've never mastered the art of swashbuckling -- you will have an excellent chance to fix that problem in the coming months. In fact, I'm tempted to name 2009 as the Year of the Swashbuckle for you Libras. If I could give you a symbolic holiday gift to get you started, it might be a superhero's costume created by a top fashion designer. Happy Holy Daze!

Want to get an idea of what my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES are like? Tune in to my free podcasts, "Fear Versus Intuition" and "You Are a Prophet." My approach there has a close resemblance to the style of my weekly pay-for-view offerings.

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What causes happiness? Brainstorm at length about this question. Map out the foundations of your own personal science of happiness. Get serious about defining what makes you feel good. To get you started, I will list a few experiences that might possibly arouse your deepest gratification: physical pleasure; seeking the truth; being a good person; contemplating the meaning of life; enjoying the fruits of your accomplishments; escaping your routine; purging pent-up emotion. Do any of these work for you? Name at least ten more.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.