"Sometimes the fastest way to get there/ is to go slow," sings Tina Dico in her song "Count to Ten." "Sometimes if you want to hold on/ you've got to let go." That's a ripe oracle for you to meditate on, Aries. As you explore the nuances of its meaning, you may discover secrets about how life is always working behind the scenes to balance things out. You might also see that going to any extreme will often attract the opposite extreme into your life; an excess of yang can lead to yin, and vice versa.

Want to get an idea of what my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES are like? Tune in to my latest free podcast, "Fear Versus Intuition." My approach there has a close resemblance to the style of my weekly pay-for-view offerings.

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Everyone influences the world in some way. No matter how powerless we may feel, each of us is a creator who continually churns out energy that bends and shapes our world and the people in it. What is the signature of your effect? How do you change the environments you pass through? What magic, for good or ill, do you exude from day to day?
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells. Go here to hear my podcasts, in which I deliver material from the book.

I usually don't have to tell you Bulls how important it is to finish what you've started. You are, after all, among the top three signs of the zodiac when it comes to following through. But just in case you've momentarily fallen under the sway of a delusion that would encourage you to escape before the resolution is fully in place, I'm here to remind you: It's time to make the art of completion your graceful obsession.

Want to get an idea of what my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES are like? Tune in to my latest free podcast, "Fear Versus Intuition." My approach there has a close resemblance to the style of my weekly pay-for-view offerings.

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You probably don't grow much of your own food or sew your own clothes, and you didn't build your own house or car. You may not know where your water comes from or where your wastes go. The last time you doffed your clothes for a whole day was when you were two months old, and you may not know the names of your great-grandparents, let alone what they were like.

Maybe it's time, then, for you to find some sources to return to. How might you do that? Here's one suggestion for how to begin: Sleep all night under a tree, lulling yourself into the dreamtime with a cruise through your oldest memories. What other things can you try?
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells. Go here to hear my podcasts, in which I deliver material from the book.

Who are the best enemies we have ever had? According to David Brown in the Washington Post, they are the thousands of endogenous retroviruses that attacked our ancestors for millions of years. In response to their evil invasions, we humans have had to build our rough, tough immune system, which is one of the most amazing creations on the planet. Let's make this your inspirational metaphor for the coming weeks, Gemini. I urge you to welcome the opportunities that your adversaries are going to give you to grow bigger, stronger, and more beautiful.

Want to get an idea of what my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES are like? Tune in to my latest free podcast, "Fear Versus Intuition." My approach there has a close resemblance to the style of my weekly pay-for-view offerings.

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Have you ever played the game of "Tell me the story of your scars?" It's best to do it with a skilled empath who is curious about your fate's riddles and skilled at helping you find redemption in your wounds.

"How'd you get that blotch on your knee?" he or she might begin, and you describe the time in childhood when you fell on the sidewalk. Then maybe he or she would say, "Why do you always look so sad when you hear that song?" And you narrate the tale of how it was playing when an old lover broke your heart. The questions and answers continue until you unveil the history of your hurts, both physical and psychic. Treat yourself to this game soon.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells. Go here to hear my podcasts, in which I deliver material from the book.

Sometimes it makes sense for you to be conservative and cautious and skeptical of novelty. A periodic immersion in the slow-motion approach helps you maintain a strong center of gravity and allows you to be true to yourself in the face of the pressure you get to be like everyone else. The past few weeks have been such a time for you, Cancerian. Soon, though, you'll begin to feel urges to take some risks, instigate fresh trends, and express yourself with more daring and expansiveness. Are you game?

Want to get an idea of what my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES are like? Tune in to my latest free podcast, "Fear Versus Intuition." My approach there has a close resemblance to the style of my weekly pay-for-view offerings.

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"Love is being stupid together," said French poet Paul Valéry. While there's an element of truth to that, it's too corny and decadent for my tastes. I prefer to focus on a more interesting truth, which is this: Real love is being smart together. If you weave your destiny together with another's, he or she should catalyze your sleeping potentials, sharpen your perceptions, and boost both your emotional and analytical intelligence. Your relationship becomes a crucible in which you deepen your understanding of the way the world works.

Think of an example of your closest approach to this model in your own life. Then formulate a vow in which you promise you'll do what's necessary to more fully embody the principle "love is being smart together."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells. Go here to hear my podcasts, in which I deliver material from the book.

Futurists predict that in 30 years many of us will have robots as our best friends. But I believe it's already the case that machines are our boon companions. You may not have a name for your computer or iPhone, but you interact with it as if it were an animate and intimate assistant. Music or TV or talk radio might be turned on in your home around the clock, providing a constant flow of comforting noise. I know people who derive a sense of coziness from the hum of the refrigerator or the rumble blowing through the heating vents. Have you ever talked to your car? Kicked a temperamental appliance? Used a sex toy? This is the best week ever for you to acknowledge your symbiosis with the alien life forms we depend on. Now go kiss your laptop. Caress your toaster.

Want to get an idea of what my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES are like? Tune in to my latest free podcast, "Fear Versus Intuition." My approach there has a close resemblance to the style of my weekly pay-for-view offerings.

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"The more accidental, the more true," wrote Boris Pasternak in his poem "February." Scholar Mikhail Epstein expanded this observation: "The more accidental the phenomenon, the more divine its nature, for the divine is what has not been envisioned, what cannot be deduced from general rules, nor irreducible to them."

If we pursue this line of thought to its logical conclusion, we may decide that the most useful sources of illumination are not always holy books, revered dogma, and great truths that everyone has heard. They might also be serendipitous anomalies that erupt into the daily routine and break the trance of ordinary awareness. "The tiny spark," Epstein writes, "is the precise measure of the holiness of the world."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells. Go here to hear my podcasts, in which I deliver material from the book.

"If you could ask everyone you met one question, what would it be?" A reader named Ty Sassaman emailed me with that query. As I thought about what my response would be, I considered questions like "What's the one thing you most want to accomplish before you die many years from now?" or "What could you do to bring more intelligence into the way you love?" But ultimately I decided on "What is your soul's code?" How about you, Virgo? What would be your prime question? I suggest that in the coming days you ask it of everyone you encounter. You're in a phase in your astrological cycle when focused curiosity is a kind of superpower.

Want to get an idea of what my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES are like? Tune in to my latest free podcast, "Fear Versus Intuition." My approach there has a close resemblance to the style of my weekly pay-for-view offerings.

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Robin Norwood's self-help book Women Who Love Too Much deals with a theme that has gotten a lot of play in recent decades: If you're too generous to someone who doesn't appreciate it and at the expense of your own needs, you can make yourself sick.

An alternative perspective comes from French philosopher Blaise Pascal, who said, "When one does not love too much, one does not love enough." He was primarily addressing psychologically healthy altruists, but it's a good ideal for pronoia lovers to keep in mind.

Decide whether you need to move more in the direction of Norwood's or Pascal's advice. Develop a game plan to carry out your resolve, then take action.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells. Go here to hear my podcasts, in which I deliver material from the book.

Describing the poet Kenneth Koch, his colleague John Ashbery said that his work "gives you the impression that you are leading an interesting life; going to parties and meeting interesting people, falling in love, going for rides in the country and to public swimming pools, eating in the best restaurants and going to movies and the theater in the afternoons. By comparison, most other modern poetry makes me feel as if I were living in a small Midwestern university town." In the coming weeks, Libra, I exhort you to have an impact on people that's like Koch's poetry. Here's the best way to do that: Live the most interesting and imaginative life you can dream up.

Want to get an idea of what my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES are like? Tune in to my latest free podcast, "Fear Versus Intuition." My approach there has a close resemblance to the style of my weekly pay-for-view offerings.

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Close your eyes and visualize an alluring person standing in front of you. Now imagine that he or she is gazing at you with affectionate desire.

Add to the scene another enchanting person who is also beaming with adoration. Insert still another such character, and another, and another. Don't stop until you have arrayed before you in your mind's eye 10 enticing people of your favorite gender--and they're all glowing with love and appreciation.

Let the scene develop further, like a waking dream, unfolding in directions that surprise and delight you.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells. Go here to hear my podcasts, in which I deliver material from the book.

If you're a left-winger, you may think right-wingers are stupid or evil or both. If you're a right-winger, you probably hold the same attitudes about left-wingers. A similar pattern prevails between most other groups that hold opposing views. You're a rare person if you've never looked at a certain group of people and thought to yourself, "They are all sick idiots." But in the coming week, Scorpio, I'm asking you to find out what it's like to dispense with judgments like that. In fact, try living without any scapegoats whatsoever. If even for an hour per day, visualize the possibility that those with whom you disagree might be sincere and well-meaning. I'm not suggesting this exercise merely because it's a nice thing to do. It will also have the magical effect of giving you access to parts of your own intelligence that have been closed off to you.

Want to get an idea of what my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES are like? Tune in to my latest free podcast, "Fear Versus Intuition." My approach there has a close resemblance to the style of my weekly pay-for-view offerings.

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The Doctrine of Original Sin? I spit on it. I reject it. I renounce it and annihilate it from reality. In its place I offer the Doctrine of Original Fun. This reformulation of the truth asserts that we are all born with a mandate to have as much liberating joy as possible. Present three arguments of pieces of evidence in support of the Doctrine of Original Fun.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells. Go here to hear my podcasts, in which I deliver material from the book.

"Be humble for you are made of dung," says a Serbian proverb. "Be noble for you are made of stars." I expect that you'll soon be getting vivid evidence of that truth, Sagittarius. Your challenge will be to resist the temptation to believe that you're more dung than stars, or more stars than dung. That might be hard, given the fact that practically everyone around you believes they are one or the other. But I promise you that you have the power to do it. You can exude cheerful equanimity while dwelling right at the crux of the paradox.

Want to get an idea of what my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES are like? Tune in to my latest free podcast, "Fear Versus Intuition." My approach there has a close resemblance to the style of my weekly pay-for-view offerings.

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If you're typical, your natural curiosity was virtually extinguished at an early age by mediocre teachers, boring lessons, and oppressive classrooms. Have you ever wondered what your life would be like if your imagination hadn't been squelched? What interesting adventures might you have sought out if your natural love of learning hadn't been crushed?

Let's launch a quest to undo the damage. Imagine I've handed you an undiploma: your official release from the soul-death of your formal education; the beginning of the healing of your wounded love of learning. What's the first thing you'll do to invoke a steady stream of inspired teachers and invigorating lessons?
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells. Go here to hear my podcasts, in which I deliver material from the book.

Describing a Jupiter transit, Capricorn astrologer Steven Forrest wrote, "Life is a train wreck, except the trains are made of cake and ice cream." Amen to that, bro. I'd add that a Jupiter transit might also be imagined as being on the verge of too many orgasms, or getting forced to make a painful choice between fantastic wealth and amazing power, or having well-meaning allies overwhelm you with help. Now, as you enter the last 12 weeks of Jupiter's year-long journey through your astrological house of beginnings, I'm expecting you to harvest some of the most delightful and enriching "messes" ever.

Want to get an idea of what my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES are like? Tune in to my latest free podcast, "Fear Versus Intuition." My approach there has a close resemblance to the style of my weekly pay-for-view offerings.

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After seeing the temple of Artemis in Ephesus, the ancient writer Philo of Byzantium wrote, "He who has laid eyes on it will be convinced that the world of the immortal gods has moved from heaven to earth."

Seek out an experience that provokes an equally breathtaking response in you. Or do whatever you can to generate feelings of sincere reverence and awe.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells. Go here to hear my podcasts, in which I deliver material from the book.

In a recent horoscope, I urged people to convince everyone around them to take more responsibility and be more accountable. In response, a reader named Rene wrote, "I can't think of ANYTHING more futile! Convincing other people to be anything other than the way they are is a misguided and losing proposition. Unless people have hired you as their therapist, or adopted you as their guru, they are not likely to take your opinions about their behavior seriously." Rene did acknowledge that it's possible to subtly inspire people by being a stirring example of the behavior you'd like to see in them. Since I think her observations are not only wise but also pertinent to your current situation, I'm passing them on to you.

Want to get an idea of what my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES are like? Tune in to my latest free podcast, "Fear Versus Intuition." My approach there has a close resemblance to the style of my weekly pay-for-view offerings.

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Jungian analyst Arnold Mindell explores the relationship between mind and body. He believes you can achieve optimum physical health if you're devoted to shedding outworn self-images. In his book The Shaman's Body, he says, "You have one central lesson to learn—to continuously drop all your rigid identities. Personal history may be your greatest danger."

Kate Bornstein, author of Gender Outlaw: On Men, Women and the Rest of Us, agrees. Raised as a male, she later became a female, but ultimately renounced gender altogether. "I love being without an identity," she says. "It gives me a lot of room to play around."

What identities would be healthy for you to lose? Describe all the fun you'd have if you were free of them.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells. Go here to hear my podcasts, in which I deliver material from the book.

In medieval Europe, more resources and human ingenuity were lavished upon cathedrals and churches than on any other buildings. In the last hundred years, the emphasis has been different, having switched to the towering structures that house institutions dedicated to commerce. By that measure, Money is a far more important God than God. During the next few weeks, Pisces, I invite you to buck the modern trend. As an experiment, see if you can devote at least one more percent of your energy and intelligence to matters of the spirit and soul than to the demands of the material realm. I suspect you'll find, ironically, that this will lead to an increase of your mastery over the material realm.

Want to get an idea of what my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES are like? Tune in to my latest free podcast, "Fear Versus Intuition." My approach there has a close resemblance to the style of my weekly pay-for-view offerings.

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Write the following on a piece of paper and keep it under your pillow. "I, [put your name here], do solemnly swear on this day [put date here] that I will devote myself for a period of seven days to learning my most important desire. No other thought will be more uppermost in my mind. No other concern will divert me from tracking down every clue that might assist me in my drive to ascertain the one experience in this world that deserves my brilliant passion above all others."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells. Go here to hear my podcasts, in which I deliver material from the book.