The bad news is that you are, metaphorically speaking, in jail. The good news is that a recent visitor sneaked you the key to the locked door of your cell. The weird news: You have not yet realized that you have the means to escape, since your visitor did not actually tell you that the key is hidden inside a certain thing he or she left behind. The great news is that I'm here to inform you about the situation. Once you locate the key, Scorpio, slip your hand between the iron bars so you can fit the key into the keyhole from the front. It won't work from behind.

Where do you want to go? Who do you want to be? For more clues, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
Evil is boring. The universe is friendly. Life is on your side. Joy is your birthright.
Cynicism is idiotic. Fear is a bad habit. Despair is lazy. In fact, all of creation wants you to succeed.
Act as if the universe is a prodigious miracle created for your amusement and illumination. Assume that secret helpers are working behind the scenes to assist you in turning into the gorgeous masterpiece you were born to be. Retrain your senses and intellect so you’re able to perceive the fact that life always gives you exactly what you need, exactly when you need it.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells. Go here to listen to "You Are a Gorgeous Genius," a new podcast of me delivering an excerpt from my book. You can also listen to other podcasts here and here and here and here.