Robert Downey Jr. is grateful to Burger King for serving him such gross food. After eating a particularly foul meal there in 2003, he told Empire magazine, he was so disgusted that he drove to the beach and hurled all of his drugs into the sea. It was the shock he needed to begin the process of kicking his addiction. In that spirit, Scorpio, I suggest you seek out a similar epiphany -- whether that involves an encounter with greasy, fried cow meat or some other phenomenon that triggers your urge to rise up and purify yourself.

Need a few more whacks applied to your mental blocks? A few more caresses administered to your growing edge? Cruise on over to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.

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"If you bring forth the genius within you," said Jesus in the Gnostic Gospel of Thomas, "it will free you. If you do not bring forth the genius within you, it will destroy you." Is there any aspect of the genius within you that you're not bringing forth? If so, what can you do to change that?
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells. Go here to listen to a podcast of me delivering a new excerpt from the book. You can also get the podcast on iTunes.