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Horoscopes by Rob Brezsny

Week of September 11th, 2008


(March 21-April 19)
Some people would like the world better if it didn't have oddballs, freaks, black sheep, misfits, and crackpots. Personally, I'm very much in favor of these types, and celebrate the entertaining diversity they add to the world. I hope you share my attitude, Aries, because you're going to have to be in intimate relationship with your own inner weirdo in the coming week. If you're prejudiced against people who don't act normal, you'll have trouble dealing with the unusual urges and needs that will be welling up in you. But if you've developed an appreciation for anomalous behavior, you'll be able to love yourself just right.

Do you want further explorations of the intriguing twists and turns of your personal evolution? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE for the week ahead.


Discordianism is one of the rare religions that takes account of Ralph Abraham’s assertion that heart physiologists find more chaos in the healthy heart than in the sick heart. Here’s a sampling of Discordian tenets. 1. Everyone is a saint, especially you. 2. Meditation consists primarily of cruising around looking for good luck. 3. Eating hot dog buns is prohibited, except on Friday, when it’s compulsory. 4. When you’re stuck in a rut, you must speak in tongues, handle snakes, and experience phantasmagoria. 5. Your guardian angel loves you better when your room is a mess. 6. Bowling alleys are sacred; you must protect them from desecration. 7. The Goddess will solve all your problems if you solve all hers.
The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells. Go here to listen to a podcast of me delivering an excerpt from the book.